Lucy Gordon - His Pretend Wife

‘Rubbish,’ Andrew snapped.

‘But you should have been there,’ Elinor cried.

‘Tonight was the big banquet,’ Myra said.

‘Tonight I had something better to do,’ Andrew said.

‘Go to a funfair, I believe. And for that, you snubbed his big weekend, full of the medical glitterati. And I asked myself why you’d do that. Not just because you don’t believe in his ideas. In the past you’ve always done whatever came next, so why not now?’ Her eyes flickered over Elinor. ‘And I thought I knew the answer. So I came over to see if I was right.’

‘And now you know you are, I suppose you’re going to make hay with it,’ Andrew growled. ‘Well, do your worst.’

‘No,’ Elinor protested, ‘Andrew, I know what it means to you-’

‘It means nothing to me beside you,’ he said. ‘Let her tell him anything she likes.’

‘And I’ve got a fair bit to tell him, haven’t I?’ Myra mused. ‘Some people might call this little set-up an unprofessional relationship. Ellie isn’t your patient but her daughter is. And moving them into your house, bringing Ellie into your bed-I think the General Medical Council would have a field day.’

‘Myra, you wouldn’t,’ Elinor cried in horror. Surely she couldn’t have been wrong about Myra, who had seemed good-natured despite her touch of hardness?

‘I might,’ Myra said. ‘I might do anything, unless, of course, you draw my claws before I do it.’

‘I see,’ Andrew said in disgust. ‘Blackmail.’

‘Hmm. A kind of.’

‘So what do you want?’

‘Well, if you two were to tell the world that you were going to get married it would all become quite respectable, wouldn’t it? It wouldn’t matter what I said. Even Uncle Elmer would approve.’

‘But-’ Andrew hesitated, then said with difficulty, ‘about getting married-there’s a problem-’

‘Oh, don’t be stupid, darling, of course there isn’t. Don’t tell me the two of you are going to make the same mistake again. Andrew, when we talked this afternoon I gave you the key to Ellie, but something told me you were going fumble it. Why, I can’t imagine. She’s not going to run out on you this time. She’s as nuts about you as you are about her.’

‘Myra,’ Elinor protested, almost laughing as she realised that Myra was, after all, a good, if unorthodox, friend, ‘it’s not that simple.’

‘Yes, it is. Things usually are simple. You see what you want and go for it. Open your eyes, Ellie. Think what’ll happen to Andrew if he loses you again? He isn’t a man who loves easily, or often. It was his misfortune, and yours, that he met the “one and only” when she was too young. The time was all wrong. Now it’s right.’

‘It’s just that we thought we’d spend a little time getting to know each other first,’ Elinor tried to explain. ‘We’re older now, and we want to go carefully.’

‘Whatever for?’ Myra demanded, aghast. ‘Honestly, sweetie, that’s not the way. Just cut the cackle and get on with it. And make it as soon as possible. Next month would be nice. Cyrus and I are coming over here for a publicity do, and I wouldn’t miss your wedding for anything.’

Elinor clutched her head. ‘This conversation is making me dizzy. How can you be saying these things to me? You were his wife.’

‘But I’m not his wife any more. Or if I am, poor Cyrus is deluding himself. I’m sure I married him. Yes, of course I did, I sent you the pictures. By the way, I’ve got some wedding cake for you all downstairs. All right, all right,’ she said quickly, seeing the fulminating look in Andrew’s eye. ‘I’m very happy, and I’d like to see you both happy too, which, of course, would be the best thing for Simon.’

‘And the best for you,’ Andrew observed cynically. ‘Cyrus really doesn’t want your son by your first marriage spending too much time with you, does he?’

‘That depends where he is,’ Myra said thoughtfully. ‘It’s fine at Disneyland because he and Simon are about the same mental age and they can enjoy it together. But at other times Simon would be distinctly in the way. But he loves it here with both of you and Hetta. He’s told me so when we’ve talked on the phone. OK, OK, I’m a selfish cow who doesn’t want her son cramping her style. But I do love him, and I’d like to see him settled in the place he wants to be.’

They stared at her, thunderstruck. In the silence Myra’s cell phone shrilled and she answered, ‘It’s all right, Uncle Elmer, he’s here, but I don’t think he can talk now. He’s got some important business going down. You can call him tomorrow and give him the good news.’

She hung up. ‘All right, I’ve said my piece. Now it’s up to you two. Just get on with it.’

She embraced Elinor. ‘I’m going now, but you and I will be seeing each other quite often in the future, since you’re going to be stepmother to my son.’

‘Am I?’

‘Of course you are. We just settled it. Didn’t you notice? Is Simon in the same room, by the way? I’d better drop in on him before I go.’

She blew Andrew a kiss, waved and headed for the door.

‘Myra,’ he said quietly, ‘thank you for everything.’

‘Just don’t forget to invite me to the wedding,’ she told him. ‘I want to give you away.’

She slipped out and from the corridor they heard her say, ‘Simon, darling, there you are! Guess what. Daddy and Ellie are getting married. Isn’t that lovely? Hetta, dear, you’ll just love being a bridesmaid. Pink satin, I think. You’ve got the perfect complexion for it.’

Her voice faded.

Silence.

‘Well,’ Elinor spoke cautiously, ‘pink satin isn’t so bad. As long as she doesn’t bring Hetta to our wedding in scarlet satin.’

He put his arms around her and spoke beseechingly. ‘Darling Ellie, you don’t have to-’

‘Of course I do. We both do. It’s all been decided. And Myra was right. We should just cut the cackle and get on with it. What was I fretting about?’

‘You’re not angry that I kept the weekend a secret? Telling you would have felt like emotional blackmail.’

‘No, I’m not angry. I can just hardly believe that you took such a risk.’

‘To blazes with Elmer and his glitzy weekend. I wanted to ride on the big wheel with the girl of my dreams. Just like last time. Some things are still the same, Ellie.’

‘But think what it might have cost you?’

He held up his hands before her. ‘I’ll stand or fall by what these can do, not my ability to wear a dinner jacket.’

‘Did I hear right? Did Myra say something about good news? I think you got it anyway.’

‘Really? I wasn’t listening. This is more important. My dearest love, once I tried to pressure you into marriage. I didn’t even ask you properly the first time, but I’m asking now. Ellie, will you marry me?’

She took his face gently between her hands.

‘Yes, my dearest. I will.’

Lucy Gordon cut her writing teeth on magazine journalism, interviewing many of the world’s most interesting men, including Warren Beatty, Richard Chamberlain, Sir Roger Moore, Sir Alec Guinness, and Sir John Gielgud. She also camped out with lions in Africa and had many other unusual experiences which have often provided the background for her books. She is married to a Venetian, whom she met while on holiday in Venice. They got engaged within two days.