‘But then you were homeless, and the temptation was too much for me. I told you a fairy tale to get you here, and I trapped myself because I didn’t dare visit you. I was afraid if you knew the truth you’d run away. But I longed to come here. I wanted to see you in my home, as you always should have been. I used to think of you, living here, and pretend that you were my wife. Foolish, eh?’

‘Not so foolish as you think,’ she murmured, remembering her own pretence.

‘What was that?’

‘Nothing,’ she said hurriedly. ‘Go on.’ She was holding her breath for whatever came next.

‘Then you called me, and I came over that night, and it all went wrong. You were so upset about the money, and when you came to my bed-you don’t know how much I wanted you. But not like that. Not because you felt you owed me.’

She stared. ‘Is that what you thought? That it was a kind of payment?’

‘What else could I think? You so hated taking anything from me, especially money. And then there you were in bed with me, and I thought I heard you saying all the sweet things I wanted to hear from you. I didn’t know whether you were really saying them, or whether it was just a dream. I’d had that kind of dream so often. Then I awoke and you were making love to me, and I thought you were doing it as some kind of duty. It was a nightmare.’

‘But it wasn’t that at all,’ she breathed. ‘You were wretched and I wanted to be close to you, and love you. When you pushed me away I thought I’d embarrassed you because you didn’t want me.’

‘Didn’t want you?’ he echoed. ‘There hasn’t been a moment in the last twelve years when I haven’t loved you and wanted you, even when I wouldn’t admit it to myself. But after that night I felt I’d driven you off. You started planning to leave, but then Myra turned up with Simon, and suddenly I had a second chance. If you knew how my heart sank when you started talking about being my housekeeper and child-minder, and contracts of employment.’

‘I was trying to tell you I wouldn’t throw myself at you. I thought it would relieve your mind.’

‘But I asked you to marry me.’

‘To hold onto a good employee. That’s what you said.’

‘Yes, that’s what I said. I thought you didn’t care about me. I played it cool just to get that ring on your finger. After we were married I could tell you I’d loved you all the time, and always would. Well, anyway, you didn’t fall for it, so I changed tack. There had to be some way to woo you. Then I remembered it was your birthday, the anniversary of the day we’d met, and there was the funfair and maybe I could-’ He broke off and sighed. ‘I haven’t improved, have I? I’m still thinking about what I want, trying to grab you, and never mind whether you love me or not.’

‘You thought I didn’t love you?’

‘I was sure of it-until today, when Myra told me some of the things you’d said to her. And then I began to hope.’

‘Hope? I loved you with all my heart. I wouldn’t marry you because you just wanted a secure employee.’

Andrew looked at her, his heart in his eyes. ‘Oh, Ellie,’ he said. ‘How we misunderstand each other. We always have. Shall we ever get it right? Or shall we keep getting it wrong and love each other anyway?’

His words had a curious effect on her. It was what she’d longed for, but suddenly all she could see was that the past had made the future confused, perhaps impossible.

‘Andrew-’

‘What is it, my darling?’

She backed away from him. ‘Don’t say things like that.’

‘But why? Unless I’ve fooled myself and you can’t love me again.’

‘I still love you,’ she burst out, ‘but maybe it’s too late. How can we get it back-what we had? The people we were then don’t exist any more.’

‘Ellie-Ellie-’

‘Don’t call me that,’ she cried. ‘She’s dead, gone. I can’t be Ellie any more.’

He took hold of her. ‘Look at me,’ he said, raising her face and brushing back her hair. ‘Let me see your face. It’s the face I’ve always loved. It hasn’t changed with the years except to become sadder and gentler. It’s still beautiful, still Ellie, still my love.’

He kissed her before she could reply. Then kissed her again. She stopped trying to struggle and relaxed in his arms, knowing she had no power to fight something she wanted with all her heart. The problems were still waiting for them, but first she would enjoy her love.

‘Ellie…’

‘Yes, my love, yes-’

‘Do you still want me?’

‘Always.’

He slipped off her robe. Underneath was one of her matronly nightgowns, which she wore almost as a uniform these days, but his fingers got to work, undoing the buttons and pushing it so that it fell to the floor, and there was the body he loved.

‘Did you think you could hide from me like this?’ he murmured, his lips against her skin. ‘You could dress like an Eskimo and I’d still pick you out from a million as the most beautiful woman in the world.’

Twice before she’d offered herself to him, but only now could he accept the gift. She sensed his eagerness as she undressed him in turn. When they were both naked he drew her down onto the bed for the loving that had waited too long.

After all these years they approached this moment as strangers, hopeful but unsure. He was broader, less wiry, more powerful than she recalled, but with a gentleness that was unchanged. Time and sadness had added a new dimension to her, and he searched her face as he made love to her, seeking to fathom her secrets, knowing that in the end it couldn’t be done.

She had told him that he should have been the first, but in one sense he was. After two husbands he was still her first true lover, the first man to take her into another world and show her wonders. It was awesome, almost alarming, but when she looked into his face she knew she could never be afraid as long as he was with her.

She saw something else too-that in her arms he’d found the fulfilment no other woman could ever have brought him. When their closest union was over, and they lay side by side, it wasn’t the end of love-making, merely a different stage. She had never known that such peace was possible. In the moments after desire was fulfilled and the fire faded, only love and tenderness were left.

‘I told you I wouldn’t let you go,’ he said softly as she lay cradled in his arms. ‘And now I never will. Let’s get married quickly.’

She stirred. ‘Andrew, wait, please. It’s a little soon to start talking about marriage. We’ve only just found each other.’

‘That’s why it’s so important not to lose each other again.’

‘I don’t want that either-’ she tried to sit up but he drew her firmly down beside him ‘-but we could lose each other again if we’re not careful. No, listen to me-’ She fended him off as he tried to kiss her. ‘After twelve years we’re different people, and we don’t really know who those other people are. We both have years of secrets.’

‘There’ll never be any secrets between us from now on, I promise. If we know that we love each other the rest can come. Darling-’

He stopped, seeing the sudden unease in her eyes, and his hands fell from her.

‘Oh, no!’ he said, in a horrified voice. ‘I’m doing it again, aren’t I? Trying to hurry you into doing what I want.’ He got up with a convulsive movement. ‘And if you listen to me it’ll end the same way.’

‘Darling.’ She slid quickly across the bed to where he was sitting on the edge. It hurt her to see him troubled. This was important to her, but she moved swiftly to comfort him, putting her arms about him and resting her head against his back. ‘Don’t make so much of it. I just want a little time to know you, and not make the same mistakes as last time. I love you. I always will.’

‘Then why-?’ He checked himself quickly. ‘Never mind, we’ll do it your way.’ He turned back to her, revealing himself at an angle that aroused her immediate interest.

‘Whatever I want?’ she asked, craning her head to see better. ‘Anything at all?’

He stroked her head tenderly. ‘Your wish is my command.’

‘In that case, come here.’ She pulled him towards her.

Andrew tensed suddenly.

‘What is it?’ she asked.

‘I thought I heard a noise.’

They listened together, but there was only silence in the darkened house.

‘Come back,’ she said, drawing him close again.

But the next moment they both heard the noise, footsteps coming up the stairs and the sound of a voice that they both recognised.

‘Thanks a bunch, Daisy. Don’t worry, I know my way.’

‘I don’t believe it,’ Andrew said, appalled. ‘It can’t be.’

‘I’ve got a terrible feeling that it is,’ Elinor breathed.

The next moment the door opened. Andrew had just enough time to pull the sheet over him before Myra swept into the room.

‘Surprise!’ she cried.

‘Myra, how did you get here?’ Elinor asked, aghast. ‘You were in Detroit this afternoon!’

‘I didn’t actually say I was.’

‘No, you never did,’ she realised.

‘I arrived yesterday to stay with Uncle Elmer. He wanted me here for his big weekend.’

‘Never mind that,’ Andrew said hastily.

‘Which means you haven’t told Ellie.’

Elinor looked at Andrew. ‘Secrets?’ she asked quietly.

‘I’ll explain later,’ he growled. ‘Not with her here.’

‘I got suspicious when you weren’t at Uncle Elmer’s weekend,’ Myra said.

‘Maybe I was trying to avoid you,’ Andrew suggested.

‘Oh, no, darling. Uncle Elmer’s house party is a step up the ladder, and you’ve never missed one of those. You wouldn’t risk damaging your career just to avoid me.’

‘Why should a house party affect his career?’ Elinor asked.

‘Because Uncle Elmer is about to nominate his successor, and he has rather old fashioned ideas about surgeons. He doesn’t think medical skill is enough. To him a heart surgeon should be a great man who rides loftily above the rest of society.’