Lyra Parish - Weak Without Him

If that were the case, then let me rot, because what was to say she wouldn't still kill me afterward? Nothing protected me, not Luke, not my bastard, no one was my friend down here where the whores, pimps, and prostitutes ran wild. I was a fish out of water who was about to be fucked by a man that I once thought was kind. Someone that I wanted nothing but the best for. Someone who betrayed me to save me but…

Luke climbed back on the bed and inched my panties down my legs. The lace stayed wrapped around my ankles. I wanted to kick and thrash, but barely moved as he positioned himself on top of me.

"Now fuck her," Jesse said. "Do it."

I stared into Luke's blue eyes, and as I tried to focus, the world faded away. I thought I heard gunshots in the distance but I was lost in darkness and couldn't emerge from its depths.

"Please don't." I managed to whisper before completely losing my reality.

Abbot's men were happy to freely shoot semi-automatic weapons. I didn't care for the cold metal between my hands. It felt dangerous, destructible, and foreign, but in that instance, having the extra protection was necessary. I didn't know what to expect when we burst down the doors leading to the whores and pimps who ruled the underground. I never understood why it was underground, considering prostitution was legal in Vegas. Never mind. Behind every whore was a pimp. Those men truly ruled the underground with their love of money, crime, and disrespect for women. It sickened me and only fueled my hate.

As I passed, women offered cheap blowjobs and sex. The group of us scooted past them. They smelled like piss and sex, and I knew the clothes they wore were dirty. Half of them were stoned out of their mind, barely able to make eye contact or keep their heads from bobbing. I knew the horrid side of the business but hadn’t realized it had gotten so bad.

Whispers of meth, heroine, and getting the next fix echoed through the halls. I tried not to stare at them or make eye contact. I often felt like I alone could save the world, but I knew that was a lost cause. I tried once. None of the women wanted to leave, regardless of the protection I offered them. This life was what they knew. This life was what they wanted. Most of them felt as if they weren't good enough to do anything else with themselves; some didn't want to. It saddened me and pissed me off all at the same time.

We entered a room full of gangsters and pimps. Most of them were cowards, but some tried to fight. They were no match for our strength and wits. Although the guns were there for protection, I kept mine strapped across my back and fought with my hands. Too much anger raged inside of me and I needed to release my hatred physically. So I did. Once we cleared the room, we made our way up a set of stairs and turned left. We regrouped ourselves, discussed our tactics, and then entered.

I looked around and saw the hundreds of men and women seated around a glass room that acted as a sex stage for the viewers. Two people were inside. After fighting my way through groups of men, the last thing I imagined seeing was my brother straddling Jennifer in front of a fucking audience. My heart dropped in my chest. I gritted my teeth before swinging the rifle from my back, and shooting rounds into glass that encapsulated them. Men stood and rushed me as women screamed in horror. Did they really think they were fucking safe here in the pits of this shithole?

Abbot fired shots around the room, taking out anyone who came close to me. I wanted to kill them all. That thread that held me together finally snapped and the last bit of my control diminished. Shards of glass shattered across the ground and I went to Luke as he pulled up his underwear and quickly put on his pants.

"What the fuck?" I yelled. I grabbed him by his shirt and slammed my fist into his face. I pushed him to the ground on top of the glass and straddled his body as I continued to slam my knuckles into his face. Luke didn't struggle or push me away. He just took it. Took all of it. My anger. My frustration. My hate. Luke absorbed it all.

"You're fucking despicable," I added.

Abbot grabbed my shirt in his fists and forced me away from Luke. "Stop. Finn. Stop," Abbot said, so calmly that it caught me off guard. I heaved and panted as Luke stood with a bloodied face.

"I deserved that," he said, running his hand across his face.

I tried to move toward him, give him round two, but Abbot blocked me.

"This was planned, Finnley."

Abbot greeted Luke with a hug. "I should have let him give it to you a little longer. Might not have been able to see out of those eyes tomorrow though."

"I didn't think you would show, fucker. Goddamn you were almost too late."

Shock covered my face. "What the fuck?"

I looked between Luke and Abbot, and they smiled.

"Yeah, man. I've been keeping tabs on Luke and where he has been since he left Paris. We didn't tell you because you can sometimes act like the fucking hulk and if he would have told you before I made it here, you might not be standing strong."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Jennifer made a low-pitched moan, and I pushed my way past them. Fucking antics.

"Jenn?" I leaned over the bed and moved her hair out of her face. She was clammy and not completely with me. I pulled her panties up and covered her with my jacket.

"What did you fucking do to her? What did you give her?"

"Rohypnol. But before you flip your shit it was a very small dose. Not like last time," Luke said.

"She's allergic you sick fuck."

I stood and pushed Luke with every bit of my strength in the chest. Abbot shook his head in disapproval. Luke regained his footing and sighed.

"No. She isn't allergic. She almost overdosed before. There is a difference." Luke's tone stayed indifferent. He wouldn't push me right now, not when I had nothing holding me back.

He should have told me. He should have warned me. I went and saw him at his house and he knew where she was. How could he look me in the eye when he knew how upset I was with her disappearance? We would have a long talk about this once we were all safe.

"We need to get the fuck out of here. Now," I said.

I smoothed her hair over her forehead, which was chopped to shreds. I held the strands in my fingers and a part of me broke inside. Looking at her like this, she seemed so helpless. This was not Jennifer. She was a strong woman, but at this moment, I realized how frail she really was. I wrapped my arms around her and held her.

"Jennifer. Jennifer, please wake up."

Abbot's men surrounded us as gunfire shot through the room. Each of them split off to clear the room and surrounding hallways. They took people out one by one, and the only part of me that still cared held Jennifer. Luke stared at Jennifer and me on the bed. We were the only ones in the room. We couldn't leave until I knew we would make it out safely.

"I'm so sorry," Luke said.

I swallowed, and as I formed my words, that's when Jesse came up behind him from the shadows. She held a pistol to my brother's head with an evil grimace on her face that was directed at me. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion, but all too fast.

"Jesse?"

Shock covered me and I barely comprehended the scenario.

"You should have fucking loved me back, Finnley."

She loaded a round in the chamber, and I heard it click.

"You should have fucked her, Luke. I told you not to cross me. I warned you," she said and burst into laughter. "I told you not to make me question you."

I moved Jennifer from my lap, laid her on the bed, and stood.

"Jesse."

"You broke my fucking heart," she screamed. Tears streamed down her face.

"I loved you. I would have done anything for you. I would have died for you. Killed for you. Oh… I will kill." Her words trailed off, and I knew that what I was dealing with was more than an infatuation.

"Jesse. Come here." I opened my arms. I would hold her. I would squeeze the fucking life out of her if I got my arms around her, but I needed my brother out of the line of fire. I would lie.

"Come here. Come to me. I care for you."

She lowered the gun, and for a moment, I thought she would do it willingly.

"No. You're a fucking liar." She moved the gun from my brother's head and pointed it directly at me. Her nostrils flared with rage, and I opened my palms to her.

"Please, Jesse."

"You know why I took her? Because I wanted you to hurt the same way you hurt me. I wanted you to be without something that you want. I want you to understand what it feels like to lose someone you love."

"I know what it feels like to lose someone I love. My wife. I loved her, Jesse, and she's dead. I may not love you the same way you love me, and I'm sorry for that, but I do care about you," I said.

"No, no, no. I'm sorry," she said and slowly squeezed the trigger on the gun. Luke turned around and slammed his fist into her face, and when the gun went off, I felt a burning sensation rip through my side. I hunched over and fell to my knees. I touched the side of my shirt, and my hand came away red. Another man appeared from the shadows and began fighting with Luke. He was able to pull the gun away from Jesse, and the man and Jesse struggled to get away. Luke chased after them. I heard shots being fired in the distance. The last thing I remembered was the gun dropping to the ground, and Luke laying me down and pulling up my shirt. The look on his face when he saw it. I looked down and saw ripped flesh and blood. The pain was too intense.