Her car stopped.

Should I give him a chance? Should I? How can I know what it’s like without trying? And do I want to try? She breathed deep and without looking at Steven, who held the door open for her, with his usual impassive face, alighted from her Jaguar. She looked both ways and chewed her lip. Damn, Alistair Connor. Damn you.

Sophia took a deep breath, mustered all her courage and pushed open the door to the sex shop. She stopped inside, unsure.

At that time of the night, the shop was still busy.

Now, Sophia. You are inside. Just do what you have to do and get out of here.

“Good evening,” a short, middle-aged plump woman approached as she noticed Sophia’s insecurity. She smiled, friendly, “I’m Mary. May I help you?”

God. She looks like a kindergarten teacher. What is she doing here? Oh, please, Sophia, stop wondering about other people’s lives. “H-Hi,” she stammered. “I, ah... I have a party to go-” Oh, yeah, Sophia. A party to go to on a Monday, at midnight.

“Yes?” The attendant didn’t even blink. She’d heard many weird excuses over the years.

Sophia cleared her throat, “I have a party to go to and I’m supposed to take a gift for-” Think, think! “my newly divorced friend with some- Ah... Something.”

“I see.” The expression on the woman’s face didn’t reveal if she knew Sophia was lying. “And do you have something in mind? Lingerie or a dildo, perhaps?”

The attendant motioned to a wall covered with dildos and vibrators. Of every length and width imaginable. And many other things that Sophia didn’t even recognize.

Sophia walked over to the wall and paused in front of it, biting her lip so hard it turned white. She tilted her head to read the name of the strange thing she was looking at.

“That’s an anal bead with a clitoral stimulator. It’s waterproof. You can use it in the shower or in the tub, with lube.”

“Ah...” Sophia blushed. “I see.” How does she talk about this so naturally?

“And this one here is new but it’s already a super seller.” Mary pointed to two linked silver balls connected to a remote control.

“What is this for?” Sophia raised her brows.

“Oh. They are very nice. These balls have four pulse-racing vibration speeds. It’s good to warm up on the lowest setting, then ramp up through medium, high, and finish yourself off with the powerful super. And if she likes clitoral stimulation, she can place one of the balls inside her and stimulate the clit with the other.”

If Mary had looked at Sophia’s face she would have stopped talking. Sophia was blushing furiously. But she carried on animatedly describing the toy. “Or even! These balls can also be used anally for more wicked fun. Oh. And the controller can be disconnected and used with other compatible sex toys. What do you think? It’s different. Would your friend like it?”

She lowered her voice to a whisper, “No. She’s into... stronger things.”

“Hard core? BDSM, maybe?”

BD What? “Whips, handcuffs, you know... Those kind of things,” Sophia murmured.

Mary took a good look at Sophia’s face then. She narrowed her eyes noticing the long natural hair, her washed bruised face, long-sleeved purple T-shirt, flared dark jeans and asked, “May I see your ID, please?”

“My ID? What for?”

“It’s illegal to sell sex toys to minors,” explained Mary.

Sophia almost broke into hysterical laughter, but managed to shove it deep down, fumbled with her purse and showed Mary her driver’s license.

“Thanks. Come through here,” the middle-aged woman strolled farther into the shop and looked at her watch discreetly.

Sophia did the same. Past midnight and I’m buying sex devices. I must have gone insane.

They went through a curtained door and Sophia sucked in a breath.

She had entered a world made of black and red leather. Most of them had a purpose Sophia couldn’t even begin to imagine. They stared back at her, making the blood rush from her face and making her feel dizzy. What have I gotten myself into?

“Are you feeling okay?”

Sophia looked down at the woman and noticed Mary was watching her with a concerned look.

“Y-yes. Yes, I am.”

Mary pointed and explained to Sophia the myriad of products until she could bear no more.

“Mary, please, I just need a strange whip with many tails. That is what I’m supposed to take. Can you chose one for me?”

“Ah, a cat-o-nine or a flogger. Any special kind?”

“Is there more than one kind?” Sophia was bewildered.

“Oh, yes. They can be plain, braided, with beads, fangs. We have a nice collection: Natasha, made of sharkskin, is our new addition. Come this way.”

Natasha? They give names to whips!

Mary stopped in front of a long rack where more than fifty types of cats and floggers, in different colors and sizes hung neatly.

Sophia pointed to one, absentmindedly, “This will do.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, I’m not. But since I have no experience in this, I can’t judge it, can I?”

Mary pursed her lips and picked out two different floggers, showing them to Sophia, “Why don’t you start with this one,” she raised the one in her right hand, “instead of the one with fangs? This one is made from bullhide. Its thicker leather has both thud and bite. It’s a beautiful top-grain leather, thick yet supple. It can easily serve both for warm-ups and moderate end play.” She demonstrated it on her own thigh.

Sophia almost choked.

Then Mary raised her other hand and calmly continued the explanation, “Or you can take this one. It’s lighter and special. One of our best suppliers managed to find a small source of quality horsehides. This material has many unique properties. It’s strong and durable even in extreme conditions and, unlike other types of hides, it’s naturally waterproof.”

What? Horses? Is there no limit to this? Sophia gagged and breathed in, concentrating hard on not being sick all over the floor.

The woman didn’t notice and carried on, “Horsehide is so tough that when kangaroo isn’t available for bullwhip falls, Australian whip makers will often use it as a good replacement. Today these hides are still very scarce, since all our horsehide leather is sourced from animals with natural deaths. Horses can’t be killed for their hides.”

“Indeed,” Sophia managed to say in a small voice. “I’ll take the one with... Ah... Fangs, then.”

Mary checked the price. “Oh, you’re in luck. This one’s got a very good price. It’s four hundred and seventy-five pounds.”

What? In luck? Sophia almost asked out loud. Nearly five hundred pounds for a whip? She shook her head at herself. People really are crazy.

“I’ll make a nice gift package for you. How will you be paying?”

“Credit card.”

“Come this way, please.”

Leibowitz Oil Building.


Tuesday, April 6th, 2010.


1.03 a.m.

Sophia called the lifts at the garage.

So quiet. The loneliness of the marble hall on her floor seemed to slap her in the face. This is how my life will be without Alistair.

She shook her head and walked resolutely to her office, taking her key card out of her Chanel bag. You’ll never know what you’re dealing with without good research, Sophia.

She entered her office with Steven and Zareb on her heels. “I won’t be long.”

“There’s no need to rush, Mrs. Leibowitz,” Steven assured her.

“We’ll wait right here.” Zareb had a strange expression in his face.

Sophia breathed deep, entered her office and closed the door. She made a fortifying cappuccino and sat on her chair.

She typed in her password and her iMac came to life. Plugging her iPhone in it, she transferred the pictures she’d taken of Alistair’s dressing room. Opening her internet browser, she added tab after tab, typing in the various things into search.

When she returned to the first one, she narrowed her eyes. Her hand was not steady as she opened the first link.

Leibowitz Oil Building, Sophia’s office.


3.28 a.m.

The sound of paper being crumpled ripped through the silence in the office.

Reaching for the drawer, Sophia’s long and slender fingers pulled out another cream sheet with her name elegantly printed in navy at the top of the page. Her Cartier exotic dragon fountain pen ran smoothly over the surface.

April 6th, 2010.


My Dear,


Our relationship is doomed. I can’t carry on with it. My heart is bleeding but I have to ask you to forget me.


I’m sorry. More than you can imagine but I know that, in the end, it’s going to destroy me. You are

The pen stopped midair and Sophia thinned her lips. She crushed the sheet in her hand and threw it with rage in the already full wastepaper basket.

3.48 a.m.

She walked to the floor-to-ceiling windows, watching the sprawl of London across the water with the London Eye visible in the distance. And made a resolute decision. Sophia picked up the iPhone and booked a chartered flight for Gabriela and her, leaving in three hours.

She opened the door to the hall. Steven and Zareb were calmly talking as if it were the middle of the day. They immediately got up.

“I’m so sorry. I- It took longer than I imagined. I just need one more minute.”

“Don’t worry, Mrs. Leibowitz.”

She hastily added a p.s., folded the letter and sealed the envelope with red wax and pressed her monogramed stamp on it.