Monica laughed. “I heard Layla from Kappa throwing a fit about John hanging out with some coffee shop girl. I knew it wasn’t me and it could have been Hickey Betsy, but I thought you probably had a better shot than her.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. The girl does get around.” Betsy was one of our co-workers that always conveniently slept in for her shift and would show up late with a bunch of hickeys or massive sex hair.

“Yeah, but I think she’s more of a Pi Rho groupie than an Alpha Mu groupie.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Fraternities have groupies?”

“Definitely. It’s actually kind of nauseating. I swear there are groups of girls that make it their life goal to be Alpha Mu girlfriends. You know how many girls just hang around that house waiting for some guy to pick them up? It’s gross. They also all suck up to me on Facebook and stuff just hoping I’m their ‘in.”

I shook my head. “That seems too weird.”

Before Monica could respond a short server with glasses and a shaved head walked over, holding two trays in his hand. “Okay, I have number 33, A Finger Roll with a side of coleslaw and number 59, a Ball Hog with a side of potato salad.”

Monica raised her hand as if she were in class. “The Finger Roll is mine.”

The guy plopped our trays down and nodded. “Enjoy.” He then turned and walked away as quickly as he came.

Monica unwrapped her plastic utensils. “Speaking of weird, it’s time we had Monica’s liberal talk about birth control. If you’re going to be hanging around John Boy, that’s fine, but you should stock up.”

“Okay, we are seriously not having this conversation.” I stabbed at my potato salad.

“Um, yeah, we’re. You know my thoughts on contraceptives and if you’re going to fool around with the biggest manwhore that I know then you should probably go to Student Health Services and get on the pill.”

I rolled my eyes. “Seriously are you like my mother now? We aren’t having sex. I’m not planning on it anytime either.”

Monica’s face was deadly serious. I should have known better. After what happened to her at her old school she had been a crusader for emergency contraceptive, even though she was dating the guy whose dad publicly opposed all forms of birth control. “I’m just saying, sometimes accidents happen and you don’t want to end up forking over a hundred bucks for the morning after pill. Just think about it okay?”

I let out a big puff of air through my nose. “Okay. I can do that.”

* * *

Monica did have a point, and if she wasn’t going to rub John’s manwhorish ways in my face then I figured I should listen to her. I also didn’t expect that every time he came to my apartment— if he ever came to my apartment again—he would leave before something started, so better safe than sorry.

I wasn’t usually the girl that fell so hard for a guy. Or even thought about sleeping with someone I barely knew. Maybe if I eased up and got a quick hook up out of my system I wouldn’t have to think about it again and could just go back to my normal life. Whatever normal was.

I made an appointment for later that afternoon with Student Health Services and felt like I was doing the walk of shame as I made my way up to the second floor, down the linoleum hall, and into the white, sterile room.

There used to be a person who would check everyone in at the front desk, but someone decided to forego that. Now there was a row of five computers that you used to check in and then took a spot on an uncomfortable red chair until someone called you back.

I quickly checked in at a computer and then took a seat. There were a few others in the room. Mostly snotty-nosed students and I was hoping they couldn’t tell that I was perfectly healthy and just in to get birth control so I could sleep with my chiseled obsession.

It was only a few minutes before a short, plump lady in a white lab coat called my name. I could feel the heat of everyone’s eyes on me. They wondered how the girl that wasn’t gripping a box of tissues got to see someone before they did. I thought about faking a limp as I walked back, but that might have been too much.

I followed the lady back to a small room with posters on the wall about quitting smoking and where to find help for domestic abuse. I kept my head down and tried not to stare at the stirrups on the examination table that I knew my feet would soon be in. I was embarrassed to admit that it was my first time getting a pelvic exam. Sure, I’d had sex. I was with my high school boyfriend forever. But I never really thought about getting on the pill. It was better late than never.

The nurse stood at a small counter with a tiny sink and some containers of cotton balls and swabs. “Okay, Melanie, it looks like you are here for a pelvic exam and to talk about birth control?”

I nodded, standing awkwardly in the doorway. She had closed the door when we walked in, but I didn’t know if I should sit or what I should do, so I just stood there, staring at her. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Okay, the doctor will see you in a little bit, but first let’s just get your height, weight, and temperature.”

I stood on the scale and let her put a thermometer on my forehead. I thought she was going to leave after she did that, but instead she opened a drawer underneath the sink and tossed me a small hospital gown that smelled like moth balls.

“I’m going to need you to get undressed from the waist down and sit on the examination table.”

“Uh, okay.” I stared at the smelly material in my hand while she walked out, closing the door behind her.

“Usually someone has to try a lot harder to get me to take my pants off,” I muttered to myself.

I slid off my jeans and panties but kept my socks on. I don’t know why, but I felt a little better if I at least kept those on. Then I propped myself up on the table and waited, swinging my legs back and forth. With how quickly I was sent back to the room, I thought the doctor would get there immediately. Twenty minutes later by the time I thought I’d go insane from reading the same poster over and over, the doctor finally emerged.

“Hello Melanie!” She sprang in like a ball of fire, which she could have been with her mounds of curly red hair that surrounded her round face. Her beady little eyes lit up behind her glasses when she saw me sitting at the table, as if I was the Queen of England or something.

“Um, hi.”

“I’m Dr. Monroe,” she said, walking over to the table with the sink and setting down a file. “It looks like you are here for a pelvic exam and to talk birth control.”

“Yes. Yes I am.” I tried saying it confidently, but my voice squeaked with each word.

“Well, it’s good to see that you’re looking into protection. Are you practicing safe sex now?” She raised her eyebrows.

I rubbed the back of my neck. That seemed like a personal question to talk about with someone I just met, then again she would soon have her hand up my crotch so I guess formalities weren’t necessary. “Um, I’m not really having sex, but looking to be prepared.”

She nodded. “It never hurts to be prepared.” She sat on a small stool and wheeled it over to me. “Now are you thinking of oral contraceptives? An IUD?”

“Uh...I guess the oral ones?”

She folded her hands together on her lap. “We can definitely do that. There’s a wide variety of kinds to choose from. You’ll need to take them at the same time every day to prevent pregnancy and usually we do a combination of estrogen and progestin pills with the last week being sort of like a sugar pill for the week of your period and then you’ll start a new pack.” She pushed her glasses up. “But remember, birth control prevents pregnancy, not STDs. You’ll need condoms and we do offer those for free at the pharmacy.”

“Okay.” It sounded easy enough and I made a mental note to pick up some condoms. I was sure that John probably had them, but better safe than sorry.

“Let’s get this exam started then we can get your prescription and have you on your way!” She patted my knee, smiling like we were old friends. Old friends didn’t just stick their hands up their other friends’ lady bits. “Now just lie back and I’m going to take the stirrups out.”

I gulped, lying back and trying to think of anything else than what she was about to do. I counted the ceiling tiles and tried not to wince as she kept rambling on while she poked and prodded down there. It was the most awkward situation I’d ever been in and it didn’t help that she kept trying to make small talk as she worked. Finally, she pulled whatever instrument she had out, threw some stuff in the trash and instructed me to sit back up.

“Okay, Melanie, I’m just going to get you written up for a prescription and we’re just going to run some labs on your cultures. Since you aren’t sexually active you shouldn’t have anything to worry about and we’ll discreetly email you the results. If something does come up, we’ll give you a call.”

“All right.” I sat up, waiting for her to leave so I could get my pants on.

She handed me a small piece of paper with a prescription written on it. “You can just take this next door to the pharmacy and you should be on your way. Good luck.”

I let out a big puff of air when she left and stared at the piece of paper. Birth control. I took the plunge to get it without even really thinking about it. Sure, I was extremely attracted to John, but did he want me too? He left so fast after our kiss that I wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. Or what I wanted.

I traced the edge of the paper. No guy had ever made me feel like he did. No one ever made me feel like I was more than some geek with a penchant for fantasy books. Not even Robby. Maybe there was something to John and maybe getting birth control was the first step to finding out more about the guy I couldn’t stop thinking about.