Magan Vernon - The Only One

“Shut up and kiss me, John Boy.” I crushed my lips against his with such a force he tipped backward slightly but then caught himself, his hands sliding on my back and then down to my butt, cupping it in his hands.

I didn’t want to think. I wanted to do exactly what he wanted me to do: Let go. I wanted there to be a world in which I didn’t worry about cancer or finals or other girls that might want him. Just get lost in John’s kiss. I didn’t want to think of the other girls he’d been with or if he really was at home studying and not getting a lap dance from other girls.

But of course, it would be my body that betrayed me. It sent me a wakeup call that I definitely wasn’t well enough for sex yet. My stomach grumbled against John’s and he stopped kissing me.

I opened my eyes to look directly into his. He had his eyebrows slightly raised. “Was that your stomach growling?”

“Would you believe me if I said it wasn’t?” I ran my fingers through his hair, hoping that would make him forget about my stomach.

No such luck. He shifted underneath me until I was forced to move off of his lap and sit beside him. “I can’t sit here and make out with you when I know you’re starving. So, eat.” He handed me back my fork.

“Fine. Meanie.” I took a piece of the gnocchi and stuffed it in my mouth, making a face like an angry toddler.

“You’re kind of cute when you don’t get your way.” He smiled and took a bite of the gnocchi.

I pulled the container closer to me. “My gnocchi.”

“Ouch, getting feisty now.”

“Shut up and hand me some bread.” I pointed to the rolled up foil.

“As you wish.” He stood up, putting his coat back on.

“Wait!” I put my hand on his arm. “I didn’t mean it. You don’t have to leave.”

“As much as I’d love to stay here with you, I should probably get back to the house.”

“Why? Is there something more important there?” I wanted to ask if there was another girl, but I was afraid of the answer.

He shook his head, taking my hand and lacing our fingers. “Red, there is no one more important than you. I need to leave because if I don’t, I’m not sure if I can control myself. Neither of us will get any studying done and it’ll just end up with you on your back all night.”

“But what if that’s what I want?”

He leaned over, gently kissing my lips. “As much as I want to give you everything that you want, I’m going to have to decline. For now.” He stood back up and walked to the door. “Happy studying, Red.”

And then he left. Leaving me alone with my gnocchi and the need for a cold shower.

Finals are the excuse that colleges use to torture students. They say it’s to test them on everything they’ve learned for the semester, but really it’s just to find something to either make or break students.

The classes in my English major had final papers, so no tests for them, but I still had three other classes that required final tests. I’d always been a good student, but I’d started missing a lot of classes with everything that was going on physically. The distraction of John also didn’t help.

Are you coming over?

His texts were even more frequent. I wondered if this meant we were exclusive and if he considered me his girlfriend. I knew I didn’t want to be with anyone else, but I couldn’t tell him that. I was still trying to keep everything in check. I was falling way too hard.

Studying. Shouldn’t you be doing the same thing?

I picked up my Spanish book. My final was Saturday morning at eight. Whoever thought of that was seriously nuts, but all of the foreign language finals were scheduled on a Saturday, which also meant that I had a little over a week to finish all of my online homework and then hopefully understand enough Spanish to pass a scantron test.

My phone buzzed again and I expected it to be a text from John, but instead Monica’s face was smiling back at me. I unlocked the phone and answered it.

“Hey, people actually still have conversations on these things?”

Monica laughed at the other end. “Yeah, yeah. I’m driving and I didn’t want to text and drive.”

“Should you be talking and driving?”

“I’m doing it aren’t I? Don’t argue with me, I’m calling to see if you want a study date.”

I put my worksheet in my Spanish book and closed it. “You aren’t going to study with Trey?”

“Have you ever tried to study with Trey?” Her turn signal beeped in the background. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, but we either end up arguing politics or making out and I actually need to get something done. That’s why I’m calling you because you’re the best motivator.”

I wished I still had the motivation I used to. At the beginning of the school year I did nothing but go to classes and work. Now all I thought about was John and cancer. I still had another biopsy after finals and I was eager to get the results and just get back to normalcy. Well, as normal as I could be.

“Yeah. I guess we can motivate each other. Where to?”

“Wanna just hit the library? I’m heading back from the grocery store, so I can meet you there in like half an hour.”

“Sounds good to me.”

I hung up the phone and then texted John that I was meeting Monica at the library. He texted back with a sad face. As much as I wanted to see him, I did need to study. And gossip with Monica.

* * *

Monica sat at a desk on the second floor above a sunken living room area.

“Hey Mon.” I plopped down in the chair across from her. She was unpacking a textbook and her laptop from her messenger bag, but looked up when I sat down.

“Hey, Mel. I’m not used to seeing you out of uniform or without your manboy on your arm.

I smirked. “I could say the same thing about you.”

She rolled her eyes. “Touché. But I’m ditching the boy tonight for some studying and girl time. You’re worth it, pookie.”

“Did you just give me a cutesy nickname like we have some sort of a girlmance?”

She nodded. “I did. Are you going to do something about it? Like take me out on a kickass Christmas date?”

“So, we’re doing Christmas dates now, too? Not just study dates?” I pulled out my Spanish book and set it down on the desk.

“Well, if I don’t gouge my eyeballs out from studying, I do need to get Trey a Christmas gift at some point. He convinced me to spend Christmas Eve day with the Chapman family and I have no idea what to get him or what to get his parents and it’s a big cluster. It gives me more of a headache than my Physics class.” Monica rubbed her temples.

“Did you invite me here to study or to talk about Trey and Christmas?”

“Both.” She put her hands down.

“You know I can’t resist a girl chat.”

She beamed. “Okay, so you’re way better at this gift giving thing than I am. What do I get for the boy who has everything? And how about his upper crest family?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I barely know what to get my mom and sister this year and I’m not sure if I’m supposed to get my dad something.”

She blew a stray strand of her wavy, red hair out of her eye. “This was way easier when we could just paint everyone a picture in our kindergarten class and call it a day.” She rifled through some papers in her messenger bag and then stopped. “What are you getting for John Boy, anyway?”

“A gift for John? I’m not even sure how we’re defining our relationship or whatever it is.” I blinked. I never even thought about getting him something. I usually got the same video game for Robby every year and we dated all through high school. I didn’t technically know what me and John were and if it qualified for gift giving.

She leaned in, raising an eyebrow. “Is he getting you something?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about the holidays.”

“Christmas break isn’t even two weeks away and you haven’t talked about your plans with him?”

I guess I’d been more concerned about what came after Christmas. My next biopsy to find out if there was still cancer on my cervix was scheduled for December 22nd. They said I’d have the results back by the new year, which felt like the longest stretch of time in my life.

“And speak of the devil.” Monica folded her arms across her chest and looked over my shoulder, smirking.

I turned to find Trey and John walking toward us.

“Fancy meeting you two here,” John said, unzipping his jacket as he approached our table.

Monica shook her head. “Trey Chapman, I told you that I was studying with Melanie. I didn’t think that was an invitation for you to join us.”

Trey shoved his hands in his coat pockets. It was much too fancy to be a winter coat with its soft, gray material and tons of buttons. “I’m here to make sure that the Alpha Mus who signed up for study hours are actually here and John Boy said he was ditched by Melanie, so he said he would come with.”

“Lame excuse.” Monica rolled her eyes.

He bent over and kissed the top of Monica’s head. “I really am here to check on the study group. And if I get to see you at the same time, then it’s not so bad.”

She scowled at him, but her body language said something different. She was relaxed and smiling like she enjoyed his attention. “Some of us need to study, but maybe you forgot that since you seem to just retain everything by osmosis.”

Trey’s smiled broadened. “I assure you that I need to study and if my girlfriend would like to discuss our State and Local Government final, I wouldn’t be opposed.”