I waited until I could be alone with her, and I said: “I fear that you are not entirely happy, as I thought the arrival of the Earl of Sandwich would allow you to be.”

She bit her lips and hesitated for a moment or so, then she said: “I will confess to there being a certain difficulty. You know full well how, over the last few months, we have lived in fear of an attack from our old enemy. I had to keep the borders guarded. That has been extremely costly. The fact is that the money which was set aside for your dowry has had to be used to maintain the army. I had promised that five hundred thousand pounds should be delivered and the Earl of Sandwich should take it back to England with him. During our dire need of the last few months, I have had to use some of that money…indeed a great deal of it.”

I was horrified. “Which means you do not have the money which you promised?”

“That is so.”

“But…”

“It is a delicate situation.” She was looking at me anxiously. I knew her to be a woman who was never at a loss, even in the most desperate situation. She went on: “I have decided what I must do. I must throw myself on the mercy of this man. Tangiers is now in the hands of the English and he is here to take you back. Surely he will see that it is too late to abandon the mission for the sake of the money. I shall tell him that he shall have half of it and the other half shall be paid within a year.”

“Will that be possible?”

“My dear daughter, I must make it possible.”

“When will you explain this to the Earl of Sandwich?”

“You may trust me to find the appropriate moment.”

I was uneasy. I hated this bartering. It spoiled my romantic dreams. It was as though the King were being paid to take me for his wife.

Of course, I should have faced the truth. He was. But that was how marriages were arranged in royal circles. The advantages to both sides were weighed in the balance, and if the result was good enough, the marriage took place.

I did not want to look at it in that way. For me, Charles had become a hero in my life…the perfect man, the only husband I could ever want, and I was as anxious as my mother was that all should go well. I had unpleasant thoughts of the Earl sailing off with his fleet…and of the Spaniards laughingly watching him do so and then coming to strike.


* * *

SO IT WAS WITH SOME QUALMS that I prepared for my meeting with the Earl of Sandwich. He was a good-looking man, in his late thirties, I imagined. He had a pleasant countenance and my spirits rose at the sight of him. There was something comforting about him.

I learned afterward that he was not a man of deep convictions, for he had served Oliver Cromwell with loyalty and had continued his duties under Richard Cromwell. Now the King had returned and the Earl’s devotion was proved to be to whatever government was in power. He was a sailor; he worked for his country and whoever was head of the state; he remained in his post of Admiral.

He was delighted with the welcome he had received from the people of Lisbon. He had come just in time, and by his presence had saved our country; so naturally they were eager to show their gratitude.

If only the money had been there, I could have been happy. When he kissed my hand and declared how honored he was to do so, I could have been enchanted if I had not been haunted by thoughts of the missing dowry.

There came at length the time for confession. I knew what was happening, for my mother was closeted with the Earl and I had seen the apprehension in her face when she prepared for the meeting. There was resolution too. I had told myself that she would not fail; she had never done so yet. She was the most resourceful person I had ever known and this marriage had obsessed her for years. She would not let it fail now.

They were a long time together, and when the Earl left I hurried to her.

She was looking uneasy, and I forgot all formality. I think she did too. She was trembling slightly, which I had never seen her do before.

“I beg you…,” I cried. “Tell me…”

She was silent.

I said: “It is over then. He is going back without me?”

She shook her head. “He is naturally perplexed. The money is so important. The King is greatly impoverished. Richard Cromwell has been a disaster…”

“And so…”

“He needs time to think.”

“You believe he may refuse…that everything will come to nothing?”

“No,” she said fiercely. “He could not do that. He has already taken Tangiers. He could not relinquish that now. In the long term that is more important than the money.”

“But it is only half of it he has to wait for. He can have half now and the rest in a year.”

“Well, daughter, it is not quite like that. I have had to tell him the whole truth. You know the Jew Diego Silvas?”

“I have heard him spoken of.”

“A man of great integrity…a business man…a loyal subject.”

I had been surprised by my mother’s admiration for him. As a fervent Catholic, she would be distrustful of the Jews. Under the Inquisition, they had been persecuted more than any other people. Diego Silvas was a wealthy man, an honest man, a businessman, and as such had been of great use to her. She respected him and made of him a friend. His religious beliefs were set aside for the benefits he could bring. But where was he concerned in this matter?”

“I have called on him to help,” she said. “I told the Earl that we could pay half of your dowry now and the rest at the end of the year. But the fact is I do not have the money even for part of the first half. So what I propose to do is to put on board the value of the money — the half we are speaking of — in goods, spices, sugar, such things, merchandise as we would export from our country. Diego Silvas will travel to England with the goods and when he arrives in England he will store them and see that they are sold to the merchants he knows in London, and when this is done the money will be delivered to the English treasury.” She took a deep breath and spread her hands with a smile. “It was the only thing I could do.”

I looked at her incredulously and thought how wonderful she was…how imaginative…how resourceful. She was the most remarkable person I had ever known.

I felt the tears in my eyes. For the first time I fully realized what my departure would mean to me, because after I had gone, I might never see her again.

She watched me, reading my thoughts.

She said: “I could think of no other way.”

“And do you think it will be accepted?”

“I do not know. I can only pray. The Earl was astounded. He was not sure what he should do. He has gone away to ponder. I believe he must accept. How can he return without the bride? And what of Tangiers? After all, is the money so important beside Tangiers…and Bombay…and all the free trade which will come their way? And he is favorably impressed with you. I could see that. All will be well, daughter, I am sure of it.”

It was agonizing to wait for the Earl’s decision. There had been so many obstacles to the marriage that I began to fear that this one would be insurmountable.

How would the King feel? He was expecting money and would receive sugar and spices.

Only my mother could have thought of such a plan.

She came to me.

“He has agreed to accept,” she said. “I knew he would. What else could he do? It has gone too far. He could not leave now.”

“Has the King agreed?”

“My dear daughter, how could there be time for that? It has to be the Earl’s decision. He is a worried man, but he sees the inevitability of this. There is only one course of action for him.”

“It is a difficult decision for him to make.”

“We all have difficult decisions to make, and he is a sensible man. How could he go back to England without the bride everyone is expecting? I have given him our bond that the rest of the money will be paid before the year is out.”

“Can that be done?”

“It must be done. He knows that Diego Silvas, who has a reputation for honest dealing and shrewd bargaining, will see that the King gets his first installment as promised. So…we can forget our fears. In a short time you will be sailing for England.”


* * *

THERE WAS A GREAT DEAL of interest in the English court among those surrounding me; and there must have been gossip about its nature. I often marvel at the successful manner in which this was kept from me. It must have been on my mother’s orders, for both Donna Maria and Donna Elvira were fond of gossip.

She had chosen these two to be close to me and to accompany me to England. There would be other waiting women, of course, but these two were in command. They had grown in importance and had increased their care of me — somewhat ostentatiously, I must admit.

I soon realized they had something on their minds. If I asked them, they immediately became cautious, and it was almost as though they buttoned up their lips, because they were fearful that words would slip out.

One day I heard Donna Elvira say: “I think we should speak to Donna Luiza. It is only right that the Infanta should be prepared.”

To that Donna Maria replied: “It is a thought which has been with me for some time. The poor child will be unready for what she must surely find.”

I confronted them and asked to know what they thought I should find.

They blustered and said I must have misheard their words.

Shortly after that, when I was with my mother, I decided to tell what I had overheard, and I felt there was something which was being kept from me.