Such an innocent passion, so kind, without art

I fear I have wronged her, and hope she may be

So full of true love to be jealous of me

O then ’tis I think no joys are above

The pleasures of love.


I was the innocent one. He wanted my love. He could never be faithful to any one woman, but that did not mean he did not love.

I heard news from England. Mary died a few years after I left and William remained to reign alone.

I was sad to hear of Mary’s death and I regretted that we had not been good friends at the end. I believed she realized that I cared too much for her father to like what she and William had done in robbing him of his throne. I reminded myself that she had stood beside her husband. I wondered whether she was haunted by what she had done to the father who had loved her and her sister so devotedly.

I was even more saddened by the death of James himself in the year 1701.

I thought of his life…his romance with Anne Hyde, mother of Queen Mary and possibly another Queen, for since William and Mary had had no offspring, Anne would be next. Clarendon’s daughter — the mother of Queens. And there was poor Mary Beatrice. What of her son? He must have been thirteen years old at that time.

And what was Princess Anne thinking? I feared she must have felt some remorse at her father’s death.

So many deaths…so many changes. And there could not be many more years left to me.

I suffered from bouts of ill health. Maria Sophia had felt that the Quinta de Alcantara might not be healthy and I moved for a while to Santa Martha; and after that, as she liked to have me close at hand, I went to Belem near Lisbon.

One day I had a message from my brother. He asked me to come and see him.

I went in some trepidation, for the messenger appeared grave, and I had been worried about Pedro’s health for some time.

Before I went to him I saw Maria Sophia. She told me how anxious Pedro was. His responsibilities weighed heavily upon him. She feared he needed rest and he must leave the country in capable hands while he took it.

“He wishes to talk with you about this.”

I wondered what advice he expected me to give him.

I sat by his bed. He looked strained and very pale.

“Catherine,” he said. “I wish to speak to you most seriously. I am not strong enough to continue. My son is young yet. He could not take over the government…I want you to do that…for the time being.”

“I? You cannot mean that!”

“I do. Remember our mother. What would Portugal have done without her? You remind me of her.”

“I…remind you of her! Pedro, you cannot mean that. She was a great woman.”

“Catherine, you are too.”

This seemed preposterous, and if I had not been so anxious about him I should have laughed.

“Always you have been too modest,” he said. “Listen to me. The people love you. They admire you. They call you their savior.”

“It was the English who saved the country, not I.”

“Without you there could have been no alliance. They do not forget. If you will not do this, I shall have to rouse myself and…I know I cannot last long without rest.”

“I cannot believe this.”

“You must.”

Maria Sophia was watching me. “You do not realize how the people regard you,” she said. “They will say you saved them once and they will believe you can do it again.”

“Then they endow me with qualities I do not possess.”

“It is what they believe,” she said. And I remembered a remark of Charles’s. “If the people believe it, then it is the truth…at least to them.”

I had been living in comfortable peace…serenely quiet. How could I…innocent and without art — the words of Charles’s song came back to me — how could I take on this tremendous task?

“You must,” said Maria Sophia. “If you do not, what will become of us? What will become of our country?”

“You will have your advisors.”

“You mean I shall be a sort of figurehead?”

“You have wisdom, Catherine,” said Pedro. “You are our mother again. Remember her. God will help you and with His help you will do it.”


* * *

HOW STRANGE IT WAS.

I, Catherine, Regent of Portugal. On every occasion the people cheered me in the streets. They proclaimed their belief in me.

History repeated itself. When my mother had been Regent, the Spaniards attacked; and now here again was a woman, and they attacked once more.

Those days were filled with activity. I gave myself entirely to the task. I felt as though my mother were beside me, applauding. She had believed once that I would save Portugal by my marriage…and Portugal had been saved. Now I was to save my country through my government.

I swear that God was on my side. He gave me the wisdom. I could not believe this was myself…that Catherine who had made so little impression on the English court. But at least that Catherine had won the love of the most amorous man in the world — a special love — a tender love which I allowed myself to believe he never gave to any other.

Our armies were victorious. When I rode through the streets, I was treated with something like idolatry.

I wished that Charles could have lived to see this. How he would have delighted in my achievement.

Pedro recovered his health and came out of retirement. He and Maria Sophia showed their gratitude and love in every way.

How fortunate I was at the end of my life to come to glory!

That can happen to few.


* * *

I AM NOW IN BELEM and well into my sixties. It has been a long life, and when, through my pen, I recall it all…the dreams…the disillusion…the humiliations of the past…the triumphs of the present…I long to be back in Charles’s court, the most licentious of Europe — dominated as it was, and I shall ever be, by the King and the pleasures of love.

Bibliography

Aubrey, William Hickman Smith The National and Domestic History of England

Bryant, Arthur King Charles II

Burnet, Bishop History of His Own Time

Clark, Sir George The Later Stuarts 1660–1714

Cunningham, Peter The Story of Nell Gwyn

Dasent, Arthur Irin The Private Life of Charles II

Evelyn, John Diaries of Evelyn Pepys, Clarendon and Other Contemporary Writers

Green, Mary Anne Everett Lives of the Princesses of England

Guizot, M. (translated by Robert Black) History of France

Hume, David History of England

Loth, David Royal Charles, Ruler and Rake

Lyon, Rev. C.J. Personal History of Charles II

Macaulay, Lord The History of England

Montague, F.C. Political History of England

Nicoll, Allardyce A History of English Drama (1660–1700)

Pepys, Samuel Diary and Correspondence Edited by Wheatley, Henry B.

Senior, Dorothy The Gay King

Stevens, Sir Leslie and Lee, Sir Sidney The Dictionary of National Biography

Strickland, Agnes Lives of the Queens of England

Wade, John British History