Dyan Sheldon - The Crazy Things Girls Do for Love

“And you’re surprised?” Joy Marie makes a face. And where have you been for the last sixteen years? “You have to be realistic, Waneeda. The Earth Day celebration has a way bigger profile. People just don’t get excited about a handful of trees.”

“But it isn’t fair.”

“Fair schmair.” Joy Marie lifts her cup. “Cody’s the driving force behind Earth Day, so that makes him high profile, too.”

Indeed, just as Clifton Springs has started to emerge from the dark and bare-branched days of winter, Cody has emerged from being the new kid in school to being a campus star. Cody has only to be seen bringing his own ceramic cup to the coffee bar to have half the school doing the same. If his profile were any higher, he wouldn’t be able to leave his house without a bodyguard.

Joy Marie sniffs her tea. “What is this? It smells like flowers.”

“It is flowers. It’s chamomile.”

“Chamomile?” Joy Marie’s smile is bemused. “I thought you were addicted to Coke. When did you start drinking herbal tea?”

Unblinking and unsmiling, Waneeda gazes back at her as if this is an unreasonable question. “Since I found out about the dangers of sugar and artificial sweeteners.”

Rather graciously, Joy Marie doesn’t point out that Waneeda could have made this discovery a year ago if she had ever listened to a word that Joy Marie said.

“Anyway, it’s Cody who’s done all the schmoozing, isn’t it? Getting Dr Firestone on our side and buttering up the faculty and getting all the big sponsors on board and everything.” Joy Marie takes a sip. It is definitely chamomile tea. “It stands to reason that he’d get most of the credit.”

Schmoozing, like delegating, is one of Cody’s great talents. If Sicilee is someone who could talk a turtle out of its shell, Cody could probably talk it out of its skin and into a soup pot. Not only has he persuaded the local radio station to plug the Earth Day celebration every hour for the next two weeks, he is going to be interviewed about the club on “The Morning Show”, the most popular breakfast radio show in the county.

“While everybody else does all the real work,” grumbles Waneeda. “Let’s be honest here. It’s all the girls who joined because of him who are making Earth Day happen. Like Sicilee and Maya with their popular supergirl powers – look how much money and donations they’ve raised! Half the workshops are down to them.” And most amazing of all, they’ve stayed in the club, even though they must have figured out by now that Cody has no real interest in either of them. “I just don’t think it’s right,” persists Waneeda. “Clemens is the president. And you’re the vice-president. You’re both really smart and dedicated. And you’re the ones who did all the hard stuff. How come you and Clemens aren’t being interviewed?”

“You know I don’t want to be interviewed. It’s my idea of hell,” says Joy Marie. “And nobody in their right mind would want to interview Clemens. You never know what he’s going to say. Besides, Clemens looks like a geek and Cody looks like a movie star.”

“Um … duh, Joy Marie,” says Waneeda. “It’s radio.”

“OK…” Joy Marie smiles. “Then maybe they’ve heard about Clemens’ speech last Earth Day and they don’t want to risk alienating their entire audience.”

“Oh, ha ha ha.” Waneeda scowls over her mug.

“The thing is that Cody’s really charismatic…” Joy Marie peers at the bowl on the tray. It seems to be filled with nuts and raisins. Was every store in Clifton Springs out of candy? “He’ll probably grow up to be President.”

“So I guess that means Clemens will be his entire cabinet,” says Waneeda.

Joy Marie chews thoughtfully on a cashew. “He’ll probably be Vice-President and Secretary of State, too.”

It isn’t until she’s getting ready to go that Joy Marie notices the egg cartons covered with plastic on top of the bookcase by the bedroom window. “What is that?”

“It’s my nursery.”

Joy Marie isn’t sure whether this is a joke or not, so she only smiles with half her mouth. “Your nursery? You’re hatching chicks?”

“Yeah. And next I’m going to get some burger boxes and grow cows.” Waneeda peels back the plastic from one of the crates so Joy Marie can see the tiny seedling underneath. “See?” She points to each box in line. “I have basil, corn, beans, zucchini, cucumber, peppers and tomatoes.” She beams like a proud mother. “I’ve started a garden in the backyard. These’ll be ready to go outside pretty soon. And then I’m going to plant some pumpkins. And some flowers too. I already put some bulbs by the fence.”

“You? You’re growing vegetables and flowers?” Although by now she is certain that Waneeda isn’t joking, Joy Marie laughs. “Waneeda, you’ve never grown anything in your life. Not even your nails.”

“Well, now I am.” She points out of the window. “Look! See, I’ve dug up the beds! And I’ve already planted the onions and potatoes. See there where I have those stakes in the ground?”

Joy Marie looks down at the freshly made beds where the grass used to grow. “You got down on your knees and dug all that up? Waneeda, you didn’t used to eat vegetables, let alone grow them.”

“It’s very meditative,” says Waneeda. “Plus, my parents are afraid of nature, so I get a lot of peace and quiet.”

“What’s happened to you?”

“I don’t know.” She doesn’t. “But this growing thing is really incredible.” Waneeda picks up an open packet from the bookcase and shakes a few seeds into her hand. She points at one of them. “Look at that, Joy Marie. That’s going to be a tomato plant. Can you believe it? That tiny little dot is going to be a tomato plant. Don’t you think that’s amazing?”

Joy Marie’s eyes move from Waneeda’s hair, fluffed out around her head like a cloud, to the original Clemens Reis T-shirt she’s wearing and, instead of her usual tracksuit bottoms, the long, floral skirt. “It’s not the only thing that’s amazing,” says Joy Marie.

Joy Marie is off sick today, so Clemens and Waneeda are on their own for the walk to school.

Waneeda smiles into the shower of blossoms falling down on them like confetti as they near the school. “You know, I really love this time of year,” she says. “Everything looks so pretty.”

Everything looks so pretty, indeed. Spring has officially arrived, humming and buzzing, and dressed in blue skies and sunshine and swathes of green and bursts of blossoms. Even here, deep in the suburbs, where the roads are all paved and the houses trail one another up and down and back and forth like an army of ants, you can smell the new growth and feel the world busy as it emerges from its winter’s rest.

Waneeda holds out a hand to catch some blossoms. “It’s almost like the planet’s getting all dressed up for Earth Day, isn’t it?”

Not that long ago, Clemens’ response to that question would have been that every day is Earth Day, but now what he says is, “I guess that I have to admit I was wrong.” Not about the destruction of the planet, of course, but about things like the Earth Day celebration. They turn up the school drive. “I wasn’t a hundred per cent on board with Cody’s ideas to start with, but now I’m kind of changing my mind. Maybe they’re not as frivolous and shallow as I thought.” Given all the enthusiasm and general hullabaloo, it has to be said that Cody’s laid-back, just-turn-off-that-light method has more merit than Clemens imagined. “Not all of them, at least.” And what, in the end, is wrong with making saving the world seem like fun? “Even all my parents’ friends are coming to the fair and the closest any of them get to anything Green is playing golf.”

“I guess Joy Marie was right,” says Waneeda. “You catch more flies with organic, fairtrade honey than you do without.”

“So maybe people really are starting to be aware, which is better than if they weren’t.” Clemens’ smile shrugs. “Well, you know … a lot more aware than they were last year.”

And last year – long before she freed her hair and exchanged her tracksuit bottoms for gypsy skirts and started planting potatoes – Waneeda would have said, Well, that wouldn’t be hard. But now what she says is, “Like me.”

“Not like—” Clemens’ sentence breaks off like a twig in a heavy wind and he stops short, squinting ahead of him in a who-stuck-the-Statue-of-Liberty-in-the-middle-of-the-track? kind of way. Only it isn’t, of course, the Statue of Liberty that he sees.

“What are those men and trucks doing over there?” asks Waneeda. “Are those chainsaws? Is that a crane?”

“They can’t be,” says Clemens. “We got a stay of execution. They can’t do anything until after the vote and that’s like a month away.”

Needless to say, he doesn’t go on to say what else the things they see might be if they aren’t men, trucks, chainsaws and a crane. Instead, he starts moving again, slowly, as though it’s been a few weeks since he used his legs, but now he is walking not towards the school but the huddle of trees near the tennis court.

“We got all those signatures…” Clemens mumbles. “We won the appeal…”

It is Waneeda who starts to run.

The beauty of this day hasn’t been lost on Maya or Sicilee either. Maya has been taking her time this morning, pedalling slowly and enjoying the sunshine and the new-green breeze, and Sicilee has stopped twice – once to pet Bob the Jack Russell and once to watch the ducklings on the pond. It is safe to say that, despite the fact that neither of them has seen any snails this morning or would recognize a lark if it landed on her head, today both Sicilee and Maya are inclined to agree with Robert Browning that all is pretty right with the world.