she'l have to stay in the hospital a bit longer."

I'd thought I was okay until the floor jumped up to try to

smack me in the face, and Dr. Frank's big hands eased me

onto a couch, where he put a hand on the back of my

neck and pushed my head between my knees with the

practice of a man used to dealing with fainters.

"Breathe in through your nose, out through your mouth," he said.

I tried, but my hands were shaking and each breath I took

whistled through my nostrils in a way I found utterly

distracting. It worked, though, because in a minute or so I

no longer felt a red haze threatening to cover me. I looked

up.

up.

"Sorry."

He shook his head. "It happens. Your mom realy is going

to be fine."

"She didn't even tel me she was coming in," I told him. "I had no idea. I'm just a little…can you tel me what's going

to happen now? With her treatment, I mean."

So he sat beside me and laid out the plan of treatment for

my mom, how long it would probably take and what she'd

have to do, and what I could do to help her. Her reasons

for choosing a reconstruction right away instead of waiting

for chemo treatment, the way I'd thought it was always

done. He explained everything to me, more about breast

cancer than I'd ever wanted to know, and I stil didn't quite

understand it al. It was worse than I'd been expecting,

only because up until a few hours ago I hadn't known

anything was wrong with her. My shock must have shown

on my face, because he patted my shoulder.

"There's nothing you can do for her right now. Why don't

you go on home and get some sleep." He paused. "Do you

have anyone who can come get you? You don't look like

have anyone who can come get you? You don't look like

you should be driving."

I nodded without realy thinking about who I'd cal, already

puling out my phone, and he patted my shoulder again. He

left without saying much more, but what was there to say?

My mom had breast cancer, she'd almost died, she'd

probably be fine, but she was stil going to need treatment.

It was a lot to absorb, and I was glad he hadn't stuck

around to baby me through it.

I flipped open my phone and pushed the Contacts button

to bring up my list of names and numbers. I didn't want to

cal my dad, I hadn't quite made up enough with Kira, and

Leo was with Arty. If I went home to Lebanon, I'd need a

ride in the morning to get my car. If I got a ride home, I

could take the bus to work and pick up my car later. I saw

two names in a row, one after the other. Two names, but

only one choice.

He came right away. I wasn't even ashamed that I hadn't

even doubted he would. It was simply something I knew I

could ask, and he would give.

The lobby doors parted and he walked through. The air

disappeared around me. I opened my mouth to speak, to

disappeared around me. I opened my mouth to speak, to

breathe, and could do neither.

I loved him.

I hadn't known it, or wouldn't admit it, but now I couldn't

do anything but feel it. Love was like a punch in the gut,

but I didn't double over. The world tipped up again, the

floor a rocking, roling platform that had decided to throw

me off it. I didn't fal because he was there to catch me.

The smel of him blocked out the scents of bad coffee and

exhaustion and bad news. I breathed, and he filed me.

It was Austin.

Chapter 34

Of course, like an idiot, I didn't tel him I loved him. I let him drive me home and I took him upstairs, where he

hesitated in the doorway until I puled him close and shut

the door behind us. When my mouth found his, he sighed

and his arms went around me as tight as I liked it.

We'd never been shy about fucking on the floor, a table,

the couch. Against a wal. But this time I took his hand and

led him to my bedroom, where I pushed him gently until he

lay on the bed and I crawled up over him to kiss his mouth

and face. Straddling him, I rocked against his denim-

covered crotch until his cock sweled inside his jeans, and

then I slid my body down until I could kiss him there.

My lips left a wet mark, and through the thick material I

could feel his hardness. I pushed my hands under his ass to

lift him closer to my mouth as I rubbed my face on his

thigh. I unbuckled his belt and puled down the jeans and

his boxers. I took him in my mouth, and he made a sound

like coming home.

I let the smel and taste of him fil me up the way it always

had, and I stopped trying to pretend it wasn't anything

had, and I stopped trying to pretend it wasn't anything

more than this. My hands found the weight of his bals, the

length of his cock. My mouth sucked, fingers stroked, lips

and teeth and tongue moved along him al the ways I knew

he liked it best.

He was moaning in minutes, his hips thrusting upward. I

took it al, his cock down my throat as far as I could, and

when he came, I took al that, too. He fel back, panting,

onto the pilows, and I crawled up him again to kiss his

mouth. Then I tucked myself up next to him in the place

that had always been mine.

He was quiet for a while, and I didn't want to talk. The rise

and fal of our breathing timed itself to each other. I put a

hand on his chest to feel the thump of his heart. Austin put

his hand over mine, and our fingers linked.

I fel asleep that way and woke to light outside my window

and a soft stroking between my legs. I didn't open my

eyes. If it was a dream, and it might have been, since the

entire night felt so unreal, I didn't want to wake. The

stroking hit me just right through the soft material of my

pajama bottoms and panties. I shifted, just enough, and

Austin paused to pul the fabric over my hips and thighs.

The bed dipped when he settled back between my legs.

At the first puff of his breath I let out a sigh. When his lips

brushed my already erect clitoris, I put a hand over my

mouth to hide my smile, and when he sucked gently on me,

I bit down hard on my skin to keep in the groan.

Austin ate my pussy like it was his last meal on earth, and I

gave up to the pleasure without hesitation. Aside from

murmured yes or two, I gave him no instructions. I didn't

have to. He didn't need me to guide him, because he

already knew how to do everything I liked.

I came softly, a slow and subtle rippling of my cunt under

his tongue rather than a ful-out blast of climax ripping me

apart. It was good that way. Smooth.

He moved up my body and looked into my eyes as he slid

inside me. So wet he had no resistance, I couldn't hold

back my cry of delight when Austin's cock filed me. He

gathered me close. His every thrust rubbed my clit and I

wrapped my legs tight around him to keep him close

enough to bring me off again. We came within seconds of

each other, me without words and Austin shouting my

name in a passion-strangled voice.

He roled off me, and I didn't jump out of bed to get in the

shower, or even to grab a cloth from my nightstand.

Boneless, sated, I didn't want to move. Fragile, too,

because I couldn't look at him. I was afraid of what I might

see in his face.

It was probably too late for us, and love realy didn't

conquer everything. We'd tried to be together and hadn't

made it work. It hadn't hurt for years, but that didn't mean

I didn't remember how much it had.

"I'l drive you to work if you want. Pick you up after. We

can swing by and get Arty and go visit your mom. Get

your car."

I studied my ceiling as Austin's warmth trickled down my

thighs. "You don't have to do that."

"I know that."

I turned my head to look at him. "What about work for

you?"

He yawned and stretched. "That's the benefit of being the

boss."

I sat. "Since when are you the boss?"

"Since I bought the business," Austin said with a strange

look. "What's the big deal?"

"You just never told me, that's al."

"Paige," Austin said. "You never asked."

This changed things, and I didn't know why. I got out of

bed and stripped out of my pajamas, tossed them in the

hamper and got into the shower, where I contemplated my

stubbled knees and underarms and thought about the ways

life could sneak up on a person.

Just yesterday, Austin was eighteen, captain of the footbal

team, apple of his mother's eye. My boyfriend. A day after

that he'd been my husband, and for a while but not too

long, my enemy. And now…now he was a man who

owned a business and was there when I needed him.

Yesterday I was a scrappy, tough-punk girl who had no

money and wore too much eye shadow. Yesterday I was

young and stupid and thought love could take care of

everything else. So who was I today?

Austin joined me in the shower and I soaped his back. He

soaped mine. He used my razor to shave his face and cut

himself in a few places. I didn't make him breakfast, but I

did make him coffee. It was the nicest morning we'd had