“I can’t. It seems my psychic abilities are on the fritz today.”

Jon gritted his teeth. “Can you just take a guess, please? I’m begging here. I need to talk to her.”

“Mmm, I like a man who knows how to beg,” she purred, but her mood changed in the next instant, like the snap of a whip. “Look, Jon, I feel for your situation, I really do, but I can’t just hand out my friend’s personal information to a stranger. Especially when it’s a stranger who she’s trying to avoid, apparently. You’re going to have to come up with something better. Persuade me. Why should I tell you anything?”

Jon pushed his fingers through his hair as he scoured his brain for something to tell her that might sway her. He was sitting in his truck, parked in the middle of a doctor’s office parking lot where he’d stopped to think after driving around the city for over an hour searching for Patricia. He’d gone to her house first, already knowing she wouldn’t be there. Then he’d swung by Carnal, since that was the place they first met, but it was still closed and there was no sign of her car anywhere. That was it, he was at a total loss, and now he was here, on the phone with her friend, the only option he had left.

No thoughts came to him, and he blew out a heavy breath. What could he say to her to make her give him something, anything that might help him find her friend? Unlike him, she didn’t have anything to lose.

His gaze fell to where his right hand clenched the gearshift. Then he looked to the passenger seat where the tiny box sat. He’d tossed it there when he’d first climbed behind the wheel, having been too preoccupied with getting to Patricia rather than seeing what was inside. Now, curiosity arrested him. She had left it behind with Casey to give to him. He couldn’t imagine what was inside of it. It didn’t look like the kind of box that would hold jewelry, but he was certain that whatever it was, it would be invaluable to him.

He knew he should be focusing on answering her friend’s question, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that this box and whatever was inside of it, was the most important thing just then.

He reached for it, picking it up and turning it over in his hand, taking its measure, making a dozen guesses about what could be inside, and knowing that none of them even came close to what it actually was.

“Hello,” Jules was saying in his ear, trying to regain his attention. “Hey, are you ignoring me? I asked you a question, dumbass.”

Jon wasn’t hearing anything she said. He was too busy staring at this little box. He had an inexplicable feeling that once he opened that lid, everything was going to change. It was unsettling. His heart pounded in his chest, in his temples, so loud it drowned out the world around him.

It was just him and the box.

With trembling hands, Jon held his breath and lifted the lid.

“Booties.” The word left his lips on a hushed whisper.

“Excuse me?” Jules sounded as confused as he felt.

His voice grew stronger. “Booties. She gave me booties.” Hooking his finger through the tied laces, he lifted the small, white baby booties from their nest of cotton batting and held them aloft in front of his face. They swayed, entrancing him as he puzzled over their meaning. Why the hell would she give him baby booties?

Again, Jules was yapping in his ear, but he tuned her out, too busy thinking. Wrapping his fingers around the tiny shoes, Jon looked to the box for more clues, although if he were being honest, he already knew their meaning, he just wasn’t ready to face it yet.

Inside, resting on top of the square piece of batting was a distinctive black and white photograph. Jon’s heart slammed against his ribcage as he carefully peeled it from the box, careful not to tear the edges.

The photo was grainy and there wasn’t a single identifiable thing about it, but he knew instantly what it meant. He scanned the white edges where information had been typed out and saw Patricia’s name. Below that, in the top left corner, were the words ‘Baby’s First Photo’. Holy crap, he was going to be sick.

Patricia was pregnant?

He was going to be a father?

A million doubts flooded his thoughts, along with a million questions.

“I need to talk to her, Jules,” he growled, determination causing his insides to flare with tension. “I love her. Tell me where she is.”

“You love her?” she asked.

Why was it that women’s minds always snagged on that word? “Yeah, I love her.”

She gave a resigned sigh. “I don’t know where she is exactly, but I can tell you where she might be.”

After explaining her theory, Jon took off. Already very familiar with the location, he didn’t need directions. For the first time in years, Jon broke his rules along with every rule in the city, and gunned it.

* * *

Patti sat on the ground, her legs folded like a pretzel and her fingers plucking the blades of grass that sprouted up in between. It was so peaceful here. The weather was warm and the sun shone bright, but the canopy of trees kept her from baking. She closed her eyes as a gentle breeze coasted across her body, her face, combing through her hair like gentle fingers.

This was her escape.

When the entire world went to shit around her, she knew she could always find some sense of solace with her father. He had always been, and always would be, her soft place to fall.

She just wished she could still feel his arms around her, and hear his soft words in her ear, soothing her. Every time she thought the pain of his death had finally gone away, it surprised her to find that it was as fresh as ever.

“I hate you for leaving me,” she told him, tearing out a handful of grass. She knew she shouldn’t have said it, but she was so angry with him. It killed her to feel that way, and she had never admitted it to anyone, not even Jules, who she knew would understand and support her. It felt like a betrayal to feel that way about someone who had always been her biggest champion. It felt wrong because he couldn’t even defend himself, but she hated him all the same.

He’d left her. He’d left her because he was careless, stupid, and selfish. He’d robbed her and her mother of him, and she had never forgiven him for that. She wasn’t sure she ever would.

“Mom was right, wasn’t she? That car was more important to you.” She gave a sad shake of her head. “I always tried so hard to be the person you wanted me to be. I made good grades, I stayed out of trouble, and I took an interest in everything you did. I guess I succeeded didn’t I?” she questioned with a humorless laugh. “Mom said I’m just like you, and I suppose she’s right. I took that damn car and I made it my pride and joy, and look where it’s gotten me. I’ve lost the one person I think could have made me really happy. I’ve never met anyone like him. He’s so intense and passionate and I think he really saw me.”

Her eyes squeezed tight, trying to hold back the flood of moisture welling in them. It was only then that she realized that her whole life had been a lie. “I used to think you were the only person who ever knew and accepted the real me, but I don’t even know the real me. I spent so much time trying to please you that I never got to know who Patti was.”

She felt so completely alone in that moment that she finally did cry. It was the worst feeling she ever had, being cast out into the world having no idea whom she was, and with so many questions bouncing around in her head. The only thing she knew for sure was what she wanted, and it looked like that wasn’t going to happen. She was on her own.

“I know I can’t blame you for everything. I’m my own person and I’ve made many mistakes. I would never give up the time we spent together, but I just wish things could have been different. Maybe then I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to your headstone.” Smoothing her fingers across the engraved lettering, she asked him, “Do you even know I’m here?”

Her hand dropped. It didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if he were going to give her an answer.

“I should probably get going,” she muttered. As she stood up to brush dirt from her pants, she hesitated. “I’m sorry things got so heavy today, Daddy. I just needed someone to talk to that would listen and understand, and you were always so good at that.” She smiled as she dropped down facing the gleaming black marker. “I have some good news, though,” she said, pausing for dramatic effect. “You’re going to be a grandpa.”

The excitement of her news faded as soon as the words left her mouth and she realized that her father would never get to meet him or her. He’d never get to hold them or take pictures with them or send them presents for their first Christmas. It was just one more reason to be angry with him, but she didn’t want that. She didn’t want to focus on the negatives, because there had been far too much of that in her life already. She just wanted to be happy.

“Don’t worry, Daddy,” she told him. “I’ll make sure he or she knows who you are. I’ll tell them all about you and what an amazing person you were. I’ll tell them so much about you that they’ll feel like you’ve been there all their lives. But you will be there, won’t you, in your own way.” Kissing her fingertips, she pressed them to the cold stone, spoke her goodbyes, and turned to leave.

She hadn’t taken more than a few steps when she looked up to find a familiar face staring back at her. “Jon, what are you doing here?” she asked, her knees wobbling slightly from just the sight of him.

He’d parked his truck on the path behind her car. He looked so good dressed in a pair of light blue jeans that hung low on his tapered hips and a simple white T-shirt. His big body leaned against the side of the truck, and he didn’t take his eyes off her for a second as she made her way over to him.