N. Walters - Stroke of Sapphire

“You changed your wardrobe too?” he pointed out.

She stood and walked away, not stopping until she was standing by the window in the dining area. The heels she wore made it seem as though her legs went on forever. His balls drew up tight to his body and he forced himself to look away from Sapphire and study their surroundings instead. The tiny dining space held a table big enough for four, if they didn’t mind being overly friendly. The apartment was much smaller than the one she’d shared with her sisters, but it was all hers. The quiet colors and comfortable furniture reflected her personality.

“I decided I didn’t like being boring or unsophisticated.”

Pain ripped through his guts. He was responsible for that. “Babe,” he began, only to have her hold up her hand to stop him from saying any more.

“Don’t call me that.”

He stood and went to stand beside her. “I never thought you were boring or unsophisticated.”

“No? Oh, that’s right. You just thought you were too much for me to handle in the bedroom. Translation, I’m not enough woman for you.”

He’d really fucked things up. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Sure it is. Don’t start lying now, Jake. Not when you’ve been so honest up until now.” With her hands on her hips and her head tossed back, she was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. And she wasn’t done bringing him to task yet. “So honest in fact, you’ve been watching me and following me on my dates. Did you enjoy the art film last Tuesday?”

Jake winced. He’d dug himself a hell of a hole. “Ah, not particularly. And I know you didn’t either. You prefer older movies.”

“And you prefer action flicks. What about the concert on Thursday?” One toe tapped against the hardwood floor as she continued to question him.

“That one I had to wait outside. And before you ask, I enjoyed the Italian bistro and the art opening. What I didn’t like was seeing you with other men.” It had left him itching to hurt someone. He’d hated watching all those different guys walking with her, talking with her, holding her hand, kissing her good night. Thankfully, she hadn’t invited one of them up to her apartment. He wasn’t sure what the hell he would have done if that had happened.

Her anger seemed to deflate, leaving her looking bewildered. “I know you like your steak rare and you hate asparagus, but you’ll eat it if someone cooks it for you. I know you like to read thrillers and you’re close with your brother. I know a lot of superficial things about you, Jake, but I really don’t know you at all. I thought I did the night I took you to my bed, but I found out too late that I was mistaken.”

Jake moved as close as he could without touching her. He sensed her immediate tension but didn’t back away. “I hurt you and I’m sorry for that.” He rubbed his hand over his face, searching for the right words to make her understand. “You’re so innocent and filled with light.”

She frowned and sighed. “Like I said, boring.”

Jake shook his head. “No, never that. I find you endlessly fascinating. The way you enjoy whatever it is you’re doing, the creative way your mind works, your natural beauty. It’s all such a gift.”

“Why are you saying these things to me now? After everything that’s happened between us.” There was pain in her eyes, pain he’d put there, and he hated himself for it.

He had to make her understand. “I left because I thought it was the best thing for you. You’re filled with light and there’s a darkness inside me that is so deep, so ingrained, I feared it would overwhelm you and change you.”

Her brows drew together and he resisted the urge to rub at the lines that formed between her eyes. “So what you’re saying is that you decided what was best for me?”

He nodded, wondering if she truly understood.

“You ass.” She pushed past him and stalked back into the living room, her heels clicking furiously on the hardwood floor. “Who the hell do you think you are to decide what’s best for me. Of all the arrogant idiocy.”

Jake followed her, trying to think of what he could do to deflect her anger and swiftly came to the conclusion that he couldn’t and shouldn’t. He deserved all of it and more. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“That’s obvious.” The cutting edge to her voice almost made him smile. Sapphire was tough beneath her soft exterior. He knew that, couldn’t help but know it after spending so much time as her bodyguard. The woman ran a successful business with her sisters, for fuck’s sake. Sisters’ Jewels was one of the top boutiques in New York, Sapphire’s jewelry extremely popular, and that didn’t happen if you weren’t a sharp businesswoman.

But somehow she maintained an aura of innocence, of kindness. Her older sister Topaz came across as a tough lady with an iron will, covered with a veneer of sophistication. But with Sapphire, what you saw was what you got, honesty and kindness. Not that Topaz wasn’t that way too, or at least he thought she was, but Topaz was more guarded. Her sister Emerald he didn’t know as well, but she seemed bohemian and artsy, perfect for the New York scene even though she was now living in rural Maine. She’d survived a stalker so she had to be mentally tough.

Sapphire, on the other hand, was an open book. Or at least she had been. She’d closed up over the past few weeks even though she’d expanded her social activities.

“I think we’ve said all there is to say. You need to stay out of my life, Jake. I appreciate what you did tonight, but you need to leave me alone.” The rosy flush coloring her cheeks made her appear as though she’d shared a quick tumble with her lover. Wishful thinking on his part. It was all righteous anger aimed at him.

He shook his head. “I can’t do that, babe.”

“You wanted out and you got out. Don’t think for one second you can walk right back in and pick up where we left off. Not happening.” Sapphire walked to the front door and yanked it open. “You need to go.”

Jake walked over to the door, tugged it out of her grip and quietly closed it. “I can’t.” And that was the honest truth. “I thought what I was doing was for you, but it was really for me. I was afraid my darkness would hurt you, would swallow you, that my demands in bed would overwhelm you. Hell, the night we spent together, I was barely getting started when you were all but passed out. I feared what might happen if I did the things I really wanted to. I never wanted to hurt you that way. But I was also protecting myself.”

Talk about leaving your balls exposed. Jake had never felt so vulnerable in his entire life. He’d stripped back the cover on his soul, leaving it totally exposed to her. But if this is what it took in order to get Sapphire back, he was willing to do it. She had no idea just how much power he’d handed her.

Or maybe she did.

The smile she gave him was filled with sadness and a finality that made his balls shrivel. He feared what she was about to say, so he cut her off, not giving her time to speak. “No, don’t say it’s over. Give us another chance.” She had to give him another chance at getting this relationship thing right. He wasn’t sure he could live with the alternative.

“I’m not sure I can, Jake. I’m not sure I can ever trust you again. You shredded my confidence as a woman, as a lover.”

“And I’m sorry as hell for that. You were amazing that night, like a drug in my veins that I can’t live without.” He reached out and lightly rested his hands on her shoulders. “Let me prove to you I can change.” That was an offer he wouldn’t make to any other person on the face of the planet.

“Oh, Jake. I don’t want you to change. Neither of us should have to change. If we’re not enough just the way we are then it won’t work.”

“Then give us another chance to see if it will work.” She had to give them another shot. He gently squeezed her shoulders and she flinched. “Son of a bitch. He hurt you, didn’t he? I’ll kill the motherfucker.” Jake knew he should curb his language, but too many years in the military had given him a colorful vocabulary that came out whenever he was truly angry.

“I’m fine. Really.” Sapphire tried to bat away his hands, but he wasn’t having any part of that. He made quick work of the buttons of her blouse and slipped the silky fabric off her shoulders. The bra she was wearing was the same color as her blouse, a chocolate, lacy delight that covered her exceptional breasts. His blood pressure shot through the roof, but plummeted again when he caught sight of her shoulders. Already, dark bruises were forming.

“Oh, babe. I’m so sorry I let him do this to you. I should have been faster.”

“It’s not your fault.” She touched the side of his face and he closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

He opened his eyes again. “Where’s your bedroom? You need to get into something soft and loose, while I get an ice pack from the kitchen.”

Sapphire wasn’t sure when the situation had spiraled out of her control, but it was time to grab it back. “That’s not necessary.” No way was she putting on her nightgown when Jake was still in her apartment. She yanked her blouse back over her shoulders and fastened the top button. She couldn’t believe she’d allowed him to half undress her without protesting.

But really, who could blame her? Her thoughts and emotions were bouncing all over the place. She’d finally come to the conclusion that she wasn’t going to be able to change and had made peace with it. Then Jake had come storming back into her life asking for another shot at their relationship. No, not asking, demanding.

He was frowning at her yet again. “You need an ice pack to keep down the swelling.”