I looked down at him. Is that what we were? Friends? Friends who had sex for the weekend? I guess maybe that was better than strangers who had sex for the weekend. And really, how much harder was it going to be to walk away in thirty-six hours, rather than right now? I couldn't see things changing much by Monday morning. I would survive. It would suck because I liked him, but I would do it and it would be okay. By the time I'd touched down in D.C., reality would be back in focus and I'd resume my life.
"Yes, I want that too."
He shot me that heart-melting smile that went straight to my head like fine champagne. "Good. I'm going to go up to my room and get dressed for dinner, and then I'm taking you somewhere nice. Can you be ready in half an hour?"
I nodded. "I have that gift certificate," I reminded him.
"Yeah, but I want to take you out so I'm not using your gift certificate."
"Why? We both earned it for getting stuck in that elevator."
"Because it's important to me to treat you, that's all. End of story."
I bit my lip. I needed to say one final thing about what happened at the pool before I could put it to rest. "I hated seeing you touch her, Carson, and that scared me too," I said quietly.
He closed his eyes for a beat, dropping his head. When he looked back up into my eyes, his own were filled with regret. "I used her to get back at you. It was wrong on so many levels." He shook his head slightly. "I didn't know what to do with it. I've never been… jealous before. It was unchartered waters."
"You were jealous?" I asked. "Of Parker?"
He nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to drown him in the pool."
I laughed, but quickly covered my mouth and shook my head. "That's not nice."
He smiled. "No, it's not. It's also illegal. So I held myself back and chose to be an asshole instead." His face went serious. "I really am sorry."
I smiled and said softly, "Me too." I paused, looking into his sincere eyes. "Half an hour?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Half an hour."
On his way to standing up, he stopped and brushed his lips on mine. "See you soon."
He walked out the door and I fell back on the bed. "Life is wild," I reminded myself quietly.
After a few minutes, I got up and hopped in the shower. I shaved everywhere and then got out and patted myself dry. I spritzed on some perfume, just a little, and then blew my hair dry and used a curling iron until it fell down my back in soft curls. I applied a little more makeup than I usually did, including two coats of mascara to darken my light brown lashes. They wouldn't be anywhere near as lush as Carson's, but nature was cruel that way; giving long, dark lashes to boys who didn't appreciate them. I kept my mind on mundane things while I got ready, turning on the radio and singing along to a few songs as I got dressed.
Not knowing if I'd go out to a nice dinner or not while I was here at the conference, I had only brought one cocktail dress, a little black number that I had borrowed from Abby that was hanging in the closet. It was short and strapless with an eyelet lace embellished waist and skirt that flared out. It was sexy, yet demure. I loved it and I hoped Carson would too. I slipped on my black heels just as I heard a knock at my door.
When I opened it, Carson was standing there in a pair of black dress slacks and a light, sage green shirt that did all kinds of crazy things to the color of his hazel eyes. He had obviously done a little something with his hair–slicked it back slightly. He started to grin, but then his face went serious as he looked me up and down. "Not nice, Buttercup."
I laughed. "What do you mean?"
"How am I supposed to sit through an entire meal when all I'm going to be thinking about is getting you back up to my room and fucking you senseless? That dress does crazy things to me."
I laughed and shook my head as I grabbed my room key and my license. I handed them to Carson. "Do you have room in your pocket for these?" I asked.
He took them and put them in his back pocket as he took my arm.
"Where are we going?" I asked as we stepped on to the elevator.
"I made a reservation at Olives. That okay?"
"Yes. I mean, I haven't been to any of the restaurants here."
He pulled me to him as the elevator made its descent, enveloping me in that singular scent that made my hormones flash fire through my body. I couldn't help leaning into him and sticking my nose in his neck, inhaling deeply.
He chuckled. "You like the way I smell, Buttercup?"
"Mmmm," I breathed, not coming up for air.
"I like the way you smell too," he whispered. "It makes me hard." And I could feel that indeed it did.
I leaned back, looking up at him, that spark flaring between us.
"Do you have running shoes?" he asked.
I raised an eyebrow, confused at the unexpected change of subject. "Planning on ditching the bill?" I asked.
He laughed. "No, I was thinking we could go hiking tomorrow morning if you're up for it. Red Rock Canyon has some beautiful trails. We'd have to go early though. In the summer, it gets pretty hot by the afternoon."
We stepped off the elevator.
"I'd like that," I said. "I did bring running shoes. Remember though, I have to be back for the one conference presentation at two. I'm trying to get into a law class in the fall and the professor who teaches it is presenting tomorrow."
"We'll be back in plenty of time for that." He looked at me. "What time does your flight leave on Monday?"
"Six a.m." I said quietly. "Yours?"
"Seven. We could ride to the airport together."
I nodded but decided I didn't want to think about that. We were here now and I was going to enjoy the last of our time together.
We arrived at Olives and I looked around. It was beautiful, with the same Mediterranean style as the rest of the Bellagio. I waited back a bit as Carson leaned in and spoke to the hostess. She giggled and nodded her head and he smiled back at me, offering me his arm as we followed the hostess to our table. We walked out on to the balcony, overlooking Lake Bellagio where we had watched the fountain show and I gasped. "It's beautiful," I whispered. Carson just smiled at me and pulled out my chair. "It's not hot dogs on the strip, but I figured, we gotta eat, even if we have to slum it." He winked at me.
I looked around. Everything surrounding me was filled with light. The glow from the strip shined in the distance, the water sparkled, and the twinkle lights adorning the balcony danced. It felt magical, like another world. I looked up at Carson and he was studying me. "What are you thinking?" he asked taking my hand across the table.
I looked into his eyes, deciding that just for tonight, I was going to experience everything I could and enjoy every minute of it. Life is wild, Carson was right. Or it could be, if you let it. I was going to let it. I was going to clear my mind and soak in the beauty of everything around me–the location, the food, the man sitting across from me. I was going to live for all the years I had rejected relationships that might have come naturally if I hadn't been overly focused on other things, and for all the years I had made choices that I thought would make other people happy, never considering what would make me happy. Carson had infected me, it was true, but maybe his looks weren't the only part of his poison. Maybe it was his spirit too. And maybe when it came to Carson, just like a vaccine, a little poison was the cure, not the disease.
There would be consequences to this weekend, I knew that now and I wasn't lying to myself anymore. But maybe they wouldn't all be negative. Maybe I would walk away a better person because of my encounter with this man. Yes, it sure was, life was wild.
"What I was thinking, Carson, is that I feel lucky to be here with you tonight."
His eyes warmed and a small smile turned his full lips up right before something that looked like surprise skated over his features.
I raised the glass of wine that we had ordered and that the waiter had just placed on our table. "To life being wild," I smiled.
He raised his glass. "To well-made plans," he smiled back.
Carson
I watched Grace across the table, her eyes shining as she looked around at all the sights. I loved it. I wanted to show her more. I wanted to give her all the experiences I could. I wanted to watch her big, blue eyes widen in delight, not just at the things I could do to her body, but with all the experiences she had deprived herself of for so long. I wanted to show her things she'd never seen before. I wanted to take her snowboarding on a mountain at twilight, I wanted to make love to her in the bright sunshine on a beach somewhere exotic. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had something to offer other than my body. But the wanting felt like a double edged sword–it made me feel alive in a way I'd never felt alive before, but it filled me with regret to know that I could never have any of it with this girl.
But maybe the wanting of it in and of itself was a good thing. Maybe Grace had opened my eyes to the possibility that I could be more, that life could be more. Something about that filled me with a feeling I couldn't identify in that moment–something I'd think about later.
We ordered dinner and Grace smiled across the table at me.
"So, Carson," she said, "should I trust you to take me hiking out in the desert, all alone? I'm not going to 'mysteriously' disappear tomorrow morning, am I?" She raised an eyebrow.
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