“Lily.”

“Alex!”

This time I could not hold back my tears. But then my joy at seeing Alex immediately changed to anxiety—he looked so gaunt and weak. What had happened?

I asked softly, “Alex, you lost a lot of weight. Are you OK?”

He nodded. “I’ll explain later. But don’t worry, I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

A chubby teenager behind Alex was the first to figure out what was going on. She screamed excitedly to her girlfriend, then everyone in the bookstore, “That’s Alex Luce, Lily Lin’s lover in the desert!”

Now all eyes were glued on us. Alex’s Chinese mother snatched out a couple of tissues and handed them to me. “You never imagined a reunion under public scrutiny, did you?”

Alex said, “Mother and I have just arrived from Taiwan.”

I extended my hand to shake Lingzi Lee’s. “Nice to meet you, Miss Lee.”

A pretty smile bloomed on the kind face. “Please just call me Lingzi.”

Alex spoke again. “Lily, finish your signings first, then we’ll talk. I will wait for you.”

“But please stay close where I can see you.”

Suddenly Alex leaned to my face and kissed me deeply on my lips, lingering for a long time. I was too shocked to respond. But not the audience—they broke into rounds of frantic applause and loud cheers.

Someone shouted, “Alex Luce is over there!”

Heads turned to scrutinize my desert lover, then ping-ponged between us.

A middle-aged woman yelled to me, “Wow. So young and handsome. Does he have a brother?”

I yelled back, “Go to the desert and find out!”

Feeling dizzy and choking back tears, I was achingly conscious of Alex’s stare and the audience’s curious ones as he stepped aside for me to greet fans.

The event finally ended at 10 PM. The manager thanked me. “Readers absolutely love you and your book.” He turned to wink at Alex, who was patiently waiting for me with his mother in a corner.

Then he turned back to wink at me. “I think you should definitely write a sequel to your memoir.”

I nodded.

“Better strike while the iron is hot.” He winked again, smiled, then walked away.

I wondered, Which iron should I strike—writing the sequel while my memoir was hot or marrying Alex when our passion was hot. Or both?

I only hoped the winks were not just muscle tics.

The three of us—Alex, Lingzi Lee, and I—got into the limo waiting outside. After a short ride, we got off at the Mark Hopkins Hotel and I led them straight to the restaurant in the hotel lobby.

Lingzi seemed fascinated by the elegant décor, the overpriced menu, and the gathering of richly dressed diners.

I was happy to see that it was not the décor or menu but me that held Alex’s attention. His eyes wouldn’t leave me, despite the parade of elegant women passing by.

Even though the waitress was beginning to show signs of impatience, Alex ignored the menu lying closed in front of him.

I kicked him under the table.

“Ouch!” he exclaimed.

Lingzi immediately came to her son’s rescue. “You OK, son? You want some Chinese medicinal oil?”

“Oh, no, mother, please don’t poison me with pungent oil!”

I kicked him again.

“Something wrong?”

“Alex, you need to eat. Look at the menu and decide what you want.”

“Lily”—his eyes penetrated mine—“I know what I want.”

I hissed, “Alex, please let’s order and not keep her waiting.”

Finally, to get things started, I ordered a Coke, Alex a beer, and his mother tea.

When the drinks arrived, we all lowered our heads to sip our beverages, trying to hide the awkwardness of each other’s long-missed presence. While occupied with the book signing I had pushed my concern for Alex’s health to the back of my mind. Now, looking at his hollow face and loose clothes, I felt a surge of worry.

When Lingzi left for the washroom, I asked, “Alex, tell me the truth, are you OK?”

“Lily, I’ve been sick.”

My heart flipped. “What’s wrong?” I was almost afraid to hear his answer and prayed to myself that Alex did not have anything terrible like cancer.

“When I returned to New York, the doctors found out I had pneumonia. I was hospitalized for more than a month because of some other complications. I had an IV in for three weeks and had new doctors coming to look at me every day. Later, when I was finally discharged from the hospital, Mom and Dad moved me to Dad’s vacation house in the Hamptons.”

That was why Alex had never answered the phone, because he’d almost died, not because he’d fallen in love with a pretty girl his age! Worse, I had been occupied with writing my memoir and had not been there for him. It was his parents, whom I had disliked from the moment I’d met them, who had saved my lover’s life. I was wrong to have thought they were cold and mean to Alex. Even if they were, they showed their love by getting him the best possible care when he was seriously ill.

Alex reached over with his napkin to wipe my face. “Don’t be sad, Lily, I’m fine now. It just takes time to gain the pounds back….”

Just then Lingzi came back. Alex grabbed my hand under the table; I held on to it for dear life.

I said to the mother and son, “Alex and Lingzi, please tell me how you two found each other.”

The mother sighed, then spoke in Chinese. “Hai, twenty-two long, agonizing years.”

I feared that once a mother started to talk about her child—baby or adult—she couldn’t stop. But at this point the waitress returned and we hurriedly opened our menus and ordered.

As if able to read my mind, Lingzi said, “I know you two can’t wait to be left alone, so I’ll be quick. Twenty-three years ago I was a theater student here at Columbia University. It was a miserable and humiliating experience for me—until I finally admitted to myself that I can’t act and gave up. Depressed, I started to drink too much. Then one night I met a guy and… that’s how Alex and his sister came to be. I never saw his father again. I was broke and had no choice but give them up for adoption. After that, I went back to Taiwan without knowing that my girl….”

At this point, Lingzi stopped. She took out a handkerchief to wipe tears. Alex silently put his arm around his mother.

She went on. “Lily, when you have a baby, never think of giving it up to someone else.”

“Didn’t you try to find Alex?”

She shook her head. “I really didn’t know how to. So you don’t know how pleased I am when Alex found me.”

I turned to her son. “Alex, how did you track down your mother?”

“My parents knew who she was because it was a private adoption. They wouldn’t tell me before, but when I was in the hospital and they thought I might die, they told me.”

Lingzi chimed in. “All I had was a picture until he met me at the airport.”

“Alex, you are very good at tracking people down. How did you know that I would be in San Francisco?”

“Two days ago when Mother and I passed by here on our way to Chinatown, I spotted a poster announcing your reading tonight.”

The rest of the meal was spent catching up with the events of the past year. When the waitress came to ask if we wanted dessert, Lingzi suggested we leave.

At the hotel lobby, she said, “I’ll leave you two alone together. I will get a taxi and go back to my hotel. See you both tomorrow.”

As I was thinking how to respond, Alex whispered into my ear. “Please, Lily, let me stay with you.”

I chuckled despite myself. “But…”

“No but….”

I turned to say good-bye but found that Lingzi was already gone.


We had barely entered my hotel room when Alex grabbed me, but I pushed him away so I could get a good look at his face. After all, we hadn’t seen each other for many months.

But Alex pulled me right back and stubbornly rested his lips on mine and his hands on my body.

“Alex,” I was mumbling between kisses, “can’t I at least take a good look at you?”

“Can’t I at least get a good taste of you?”

It was hopeless. So I let him behave like a hungry baby searching for his mother’s swelling nipple.

But after so long we were a little awkward with each other, so we talked for a while. Alex wanted to know what had happened to me in China after his departure.

After I told him everything, he said, “Just like me, you have two sets of parents. So we’re both fellow orphans and soul mates.”

He lifted my hand and ran his tongue along my palm.

When I tried to say something, he put a finger across my lips and said, “Shhh…” while starting to unbutton my dress.

In no time, we were rolling, entangling and disentangling in the soft, spacious hotel bed. The sheets and covers immediately transformed into the hot, shifting sands of the golden desert. Alex’s long fingers, like the little desert lizards, ambushed me from all sides. When he entered me, I dug my nails deep into his back and, like a bloodthirsty desert animal, sank my teeth into his neck. Then, as his sex lingered inside mine and our tongues darted around inside each other’s mouths, I felt we were nothing but one huge ball of sexual energy. Gaunt as he looked, Alex hadn’t lost a bit of his sexual qi.

Watching him, I felt as if I were back in my little cottage in the desert, the warm morning sun melting all my worries.

After love, we cuddled against each other, savoring the just-accomplished war of sex.

I caressed his bony face. “Alex, can you not scream so loud? What if people next door hear us? We might see them when we go out in the morning. Then I’ll have no face left.”