Some men stared back at me with expressionless faces, others smiled, yet others cast me curious glances and muttered in languages I didn’t understand. The non-Chinese women, also with big eyes, high noses, and honey-colored complexions, mostly ignored me and went on with their business of haggling with vendors or scolding their overactive sons and whining daughters. By the roadside, groups of children in colorful outfits played their own invented games with plastic toys—cars, soldiers, animals, dinosaurs.

I was delighted to see vendors everywhere selling crafts and food. Bright-colored hand-sewn carpets and bolts of silk had been laid on the ground for people to haggle over. Pottery and porcelain wares of varied sizes and shapes kept beckoning me to caress their silk-smooth glaze and take them back to a cozy home. A tall, dark orange vase with bold streaks of turquoise suggested to me a dark-skinned woman with sensuous, elongated fingers picking berries under the turquoise sky.

The owner lifted up the vase and yelled to me, “Ten, ten. Take home!”

Though I was tempted to adopt the vase, I knew I couldn’t possibly carry such a weighty and fragile object in my backpack and then in my luggage back to the U.S.

Hurrying away, I inhaled the delicious smell of food—seven-ingredient soup, grilled meat, kebabs, huge flat nang bread, fresh fruits. I stopped to appreciate green and mauve grapes hugging each other in huge clusters, like blossoms napping in spring. Metal basins overflowed with a huge variety of nuts and dried fruits—walnuts, almonds, raisins, currants, bananas, plums—all piled up high like camels’ humps.

I wandered aimlessly, bumping into people and listening to strange syllables emitting from their maroon, sensuous lips.

One little girl dressed in red pulled my jeans and said in disjointed English, “Come, come, buy nang! nang!” while pointing to a huge, round, crusty pancake—the size of a twelve-slice pizza—on a table in front of a young woman, no doubt her mother.

I had learned that nang, like rice for the Chinese, is a staple for the Uyghur people, especially during long-distance travel, since the bread can stay edible for months.

“How much?”

She lifted three of her dirty fingers. “Tree.”

I took one nang from the young woman and handed the little girl “tree” bills.

Then I stooped down so my face was at the same level as hers. “Little friend, how did you learn English?”

She giggled. “Ghosts, white.”

“You like white ghosts?”

She nodded her pretty head, then stuck out her tongue and rolled her eyes, imitating a ghost, I supposed. After that, she giggled uncontrollably while dashing to hide behind the young woman.

I waved to them and walked away, strolling and munching on my Uyghur “pizza.” A harsh-looking male vendor pushed a piece of meat almost into my mouth with his blackened, calloused hand.

I pointed to my huge nang, gave him a dismissive wave, then continued to walk. Unlike the little girl, he was far from being cute as could be imagined and so failed to get my business.

A small, boisterous gathering caught my attention, so I squeezed through to the front of the little throng where a man in a deep blue apron was performing gymnastics with noodles as long as the Great Wall and as tangled as the plot of a soap opera. To my amazement, like a circus animal trainer, he made the noodles execute a complex ballet in the air. But I didn’t get any noodle soup from him. Though he was cute, his portion was not little, and I reminded myself that my “pizza” was huge.

I left the loud applause behind and resumed walking. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the market, I imagined myself traveling through time to this same place centuries ago. Under the scorching sun, caravans loaded with silk, embroidery, tea leaves, jade, gold jewelry, porcelain, lacquer, bronze, and peacocks lumbered forward, their owners salivating over the soon-to-be-made fortunes. Bells fastened around the camels’ ankles emitted crisp, tinkling sounds, breaking the eerie silence of the empty desert. Back from the West, richly attired merchants squatted on the humped beasts, happily surveying their exchanged goods—glass, gems, medicines, spices, wine, rugs, fragrant woods, rich fabrics, ostriches, even heavenly horses tethered behind the camels.

In my reverie, I was the richest merchant’s beautiful daughter who, while riding from east to west and then back, would meet and fall dangerously in love with one of the tall, exotic, dark-skinned men. Except for my eyes, my face was veiled—from the wind, heat, dust, and especially the eyes of these handsome strangers. But the veil’s job was only half done. Bewitched by my eyes—big, long-lashed, greenish brown, haunting—they would project amorous messages straight back to my soul’s windows.

“Alas!” my richly dressed, elegantly mannered father would exclaim, “although my daughter’s face is veiled from the world, secrets keep spilling from her loquacious eyes!”

Then, one day, a prince saw my fleeting, half-veiled visage from the reflection of a brass bell decorating my father’s luxurious carriage. Instantly he was transfixed as if struck by lightning. Like a longing from a past life, my half-veiled, half-revealed face became an unattainable dream. Until one day our caravan was stopped by a bandit, and the prince, leading his cavalrymen on horseback, dashed to my rescue. He chopped off the bandit’s head, caught me as I fell from the bandit’s dying arms, then wrapped me tightly in his manly ones. All this happened on one sultry night when the wind wailed like a rootless ghost, the horses neighed like tortured souls in hell, and the sand spun like a Sufi’s whirling robe….

In the midst of these wild imaginings, Alex’s face suddenly emerged, followed by a great sadness rising inside me. As I waved my hand in front of my eyes to sweep away this alluring yet disturbing image, I spotted a young meat vendor smiling sweetly at me. He looked to be in his early twenties, the same age as Alex. I sighed. If Alex were here, together we could be shopping for silly little things, snacking on the pungent, grimy meat, telling jokes and laughing together….

I continued to stroll, trying to pick up the threads of my earlier daydream. But the story refused to move forward. Did the prince and I undergo a stormy, passionate love affair before settling down to an erotic happy-ever-after, surrounded by delightfully shrieking little princes and princesses? I tried and tried but nothing came, so I gave up. Maybe after all I was not a rich man’s beautiful daughter in any of my past lives nor was there any handsome prince coming to my rescue.

Still savoring the impossible fairy tale, I spotted several men squatting on the ground surrounding a jade vendor. Attracted by the brightly colored stones and the powerful, concentric qi emitted by the men, I went up to the group and squatted down just like them, a pose I’d never adopt back in the States or in Hong Kong. The men turned to cast me curious glances.

The vendor, a brown-faced, fortyish Uyghur man wearing a Muslim cap and a white-turned-gray shirt, smiled at my intrusion, then asked in Mandarin, “You want buy jade for friends, relatives?”

I was wrong to have imagined that I’d started to blend in—first the little girl talked to me in English, and now this jade seller in Mandarin.

I smiled back. “Sorry, I don’t have any people to give to.”

He looked surprised. “No family?”

I shook my head.

“Oh, an orphan.” He turned to translate to the others.

Now all the men took on sympathetic expressions, collectively shaking their heads.

Suddenly a worry rose in my mind: Knowing I was here by myself, would they try to take advantage of me?

But the vendor leaned toward me. “Then buy one for yourself, for blessing and protection.” He spread and rearranged the jades on the carpet with his brown hands tipped with stained nails. Staring at his workman’s hands, I thought of Lop Nor digging for herbs and blinked back tears.

Oblivious of the emotions inside me, the vendor spoke. “Miss, these are Khotan jade, worn only by emperors.”

I squeezed a smile. “Then how did they end up on the street?”

“Ah, many years ago kingdom lost, no more jewelry, no cash, no good food, no pretty wives, not even one.” He made a sweeping gesture to sculpt in the air the outline of a voluptuous woman.

All the other men laughed; one emitted meaningful clucking sounds.

I ignored them while sifting through the stones to distract myself. Maybe thinking that I was a serious buyer, soon the others stood up to leave, one after another.

After they all left, the vendor looked around and said in a whisper, as if trying to share with me a slice of heaven’s secret, “Miss, if you’re looking for something special, take a look at my most valuable piece.”

My curiosity was pricked. “What is it?”

He slipped his hand inside his shirt, pulled out an object, then put it in my hand.

An ivory bracelet the color of antique white jade—just like Lop Nor’s white jade pendant. The piece was unusually wide and thick, its entire surface adorned by a streak the color of aged red wine, or Chinese Pu’er tea. Its antique silver clasp was an intertwined dragon and phoenix.

I bounced my hand a little to feel the solid, sensuous weight of the ivory in my palm. A unique piece, an unexpected find in this remote place. As I rubbed the smooth ivory against my wrist, it suddenly occurred to me that this would be a perfect match with Lop Nor’s pendant, now hanging from my neck.