“You think that’s what you want?” He caught several rasping breaths of his own. “Then let me tell you about me. Let me tell you who I am.”

Chapter 12

“I know who you are,” Rachel whispered. Her mind filled with images of his face, his smile as he gazed down at Sean.

He closed his eyes and shook her again, his fingers hard on her arms. She was sure there would be bruises. “You don’t,” he said harshly. “You only think you do.”

“Then I…don’t understand.”

“I’m a cop-you got that? A cop. And you, lady, are the widow of a crime kingpin’s son, who happened to be present when your husband was shot along with a couple of federal agents. You were there. You’re a witness. Get it?”

“But I don’t-”

He shook her again, and she stopped and just stared at him, wishing she could block out these images: the cold glitter of his eyes, the hard, unyielding line of his mouth. A moment ago I was kissing that mouth. How could it have felt so good?

“You’re a witness. You’re my witness. You are the witness who is going to break this case for me. The witness who’s going to get me my old job back. Now-do you understand what I want from you?”

She nodded. Her body had gone cold and still. He must have felt it, because he let go of her arms, exhaled and muttered, “Good…” He bent down to pick up his hat from the mossy creek bank where she’d tossed it.

She cleared her throat. “You want me to testify,” she said carefully, feeling nothing at all, except cold. “You want me to say I saw who killed those two feds.”

He turned to her, having jammed his hat back on his head, and she saw his eyes glint from the deep shadow of the hat’s brim. “I want you to tell what you saw. What you remember.”

Rachel drew a deep breath and pulled together the remnants of her strength, self-respect and pride. “Then I’m going to have to disappoint you,” she said, in a voice that didn’t shake. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all this for nothing, but I didn’t see anything. Nicky shoved me down behind a Dumpster. I don’t know who killed the law officers. Do you get it? I don’t even know who killed Nick.” She sucked in another breath. “So, you can go home now.”

She plucked the pink cap Josie had given her from the saddle horn, lifted her foot into the stirrup and, ignoring twinges in tender parts of her body, lifted herself into the saddle. From that height she looked down at the man she’d once thought looked like a hero from an old Western movie. He no longer made her think of John Wayne, or anybody else; now, he was just J.J. And, looking down at him, she still didn’t feel anything. But she knew the pain was out there, gathering like a tsunami wave, heading straight for her. And she knew that when it hit her she wanted to be far away from the man who had caused it.

“Do you understand?”

He lifted his head and looked at her, his face stony.

“I can’t help you. I don’t have anything for you, so you don’t have any reason to stay.”

“Carlos-”

“Sage will protect me. He can hire someone. This is my grandfather’s place, and I want you gone.”

She tugged on the appaloosa’s reins and turned her head toward home. She dug her heels into the mare’s sides and leaned forward over her neck. She saw J.J. leap back out of the way as the mare’s hooves bit into the moist earth, and then she was surging up the shaded slope and into the meadow. Once on the open ground, she gave the horse her head and took what comfort she could from what should have been one of her greatest pleasures-riding a horse at a flat-out gallop through an open field, with the wind in her face and the sun on her back.

J.J. watched the horse and rider hit the meadow and go thundering toward the barn, two almost identical ponytails streaming like flags in the wind, and felt like throwing his hat to the ground in frustration. How, he wondered, had he managed to botch things so badly? He couldn’t have imagined a worse outcome.

A moment later, he wished he could have, because a worse outcome is what he got. His sweet little brown mare lifted up her head, uttered a heart-stopping whinny and took off after her friend, the appaloosa.

So much for ground-tying, J.J. thought. And then, as Moonshine lurched to her feet and went loping up the slope in pursuit of the horses. Et tu, Moon? What is this-you girls stick together?

He took off his hat, whacked it against his pants leg a time or two, then put it back on and began to make his way through the pines, swearing bitterly at himself. When he got to the meadow, Moonshine came trotting through the grass to meet him. The dog sat down on her haunches and gave him a long, doleful stare, panting hard, tongue lolling.

“Don’t start with me,” J.J. warned.

As he watched the two horses and one rider rapidly vanish into the distance at a pace faster than he ever wanted to go on the back of a living creature, he considered he was probably better off walking home.


“Man, I’m sorry,” Sage said.

He was in the barn, brushing down the brown horse, Misty, when J.J. got there. Out in the pasture he could see the appaloosa, already placidly grazing. Misty turned her head to look at him with big brown innocent eyes as if to say, “Hey, buddy, what happened to you?” But J.J. wasn’t fooled.

He leaned against a stall and folded his arms across his chest. “Yeah, I’m sorry, too.”

Sage threw him a look. “It’s her place, you’re her guest. If she wants you to go…” He shrugged and went back to brushing.

J.J. coughed, straightened up. “You know, it’s gonna have to be up to you, now, to keep her safe.” Sage nodded. “I mean, I’ll do my best to get back here as quick as I can, but…” His plan was to get some backup, some legal authority to hold Rachel, or at least keep her in his protective custody until they could find out what she knew about the shooting. Or until they got enough on Carlos to put him away without her help. Meanwhile… “You got any guns?”

“Couple deer rifles,” Sage said. “A shotgun.”

“These guys will have automatic weapons,” J.J. said.


The house was silent. Entering through the front door, J.J. could see across the courtyard to the veranda, where Rachel sat in the rocker nursing Sean. Since he was pretty sure there was nothing to be gained by another encounter with her, he went through the living room and dining room and into the kitchen, where he found Josie at the sink, stemming a bowlful of strawberries. She glanced up, and he thought he caught the shine of tears in her eyes.

“Sheriff J.J., I’m so sorry,” she began.

“Yeah, me, too,” he said, cutting her off. “I’ll be out of your way, soon as I can. Listen-is there any place in this house you could hide, if you had to?” Josie turned to look fully at him, the back of one hand, the one holding a paring knife, pressed to her nose. “You know-like a basement, or a safe room…”

She hesitated, then nodded and pointed the knife at the ceiling. “In the chapel-down at the other end of the house. There’s a secret door. It goes up to the bell tower. It’s Sam’s-it was Mr. Malone’s private place. The only way to get to it is stairs.” She twirled the knife to create a picture of a circular staircase.

“That’ll do,” J.J. said. “Listen-I want you to promise me, okay? If you see any sign of Carlos or his goons, I want you to get Rachel and the baby to that room. Get them up there, barricade the door and call 911. Don’t go out or open it for anyone until help arrives. Got it?”

Josie nodded and whispered, “Got it.”

He left her standing there looking after him and went down the corridor to his room. He took his duffel bag out of the closet and threw his clothes into it, dumped his traveling toiletry case on top of the clothes and zipped the bag shut. Then he got his service Glock and holster out of the drawer in the nightstand and laid it on the bed. He took out the magazine, checked it, put it back. Did the same with his backup Glock, then put it back in its holster where he always wore it, strapped to his right ankle.

He walked slowly to the French doors and looked out. Rachel was still there, rocking her baby. The way she was sitting he couldn’t see her face, and she wouldn’t know he was there unless he opened the doors or called to her. Which there wasn’t much point in doing. She’d made her feelings plain enough.

For the best, he told himself, ignoring the dull ache in his chest. Just as well. Last thing you needed…

He went back to the bed, picked up his duffel bag in one hand and his service pistol in the other and left the house by the same route as he’d entered. Josie, he noticed, was nowhere to be seen.

Outside in the shaded parking area in front of the six-car garage, he opened the door of his pickup and called to Moonshine. When he told her to get in the truck, she looked at him like he’d lost his mind, so he boosted her up by her hind end, tossed the duffel bag in after her and shut the back door. He got into the front, placed the Glock and its holster on the passenger seat, started up the engine and rolled away down the drive.

At the T intersection, he kept going straight, and when he pulled up to the big barn, Sage came strolling out to meet him, the border collie at his heels. J.J. waited for him to come close, then rolled down his window and handed him the Glock.

“You ever fire one of these?” he asked.

“I have not,” Sage said. J.J. showed him how to chamber a round and set the safety. “Keep it on you,” he said, looking the other man square in the eyes. “Don’t put it in a drawer or hang it on a nail. Put the holster on and wear it.”

“Will do,” Sage said.

“Goes in the small of your back,” J.J. said.