Tara Sivec - Shame on Me

“No, definitely not. He probably thinks this is the bathroom,” Matt assures me.

Scrambling for our clothes, Matt helps me zip up my dress and I help him button his shirt.

“Shake a tail feather in there, you two. It doesn’t take that long to put your clothes back on,” Mr. Russo shouts. “Ain’t nobody got time for this.”

On the way to the office after the photo shoot, I received a phone call from an unidentified man. He told me to bring the money to an abandoned building on Lincolnway West by the next afternoon or they would start cutting Andy’s appendages off. I told them to start with his penis before I hung up.

The anger over what I’m doing for him makes me want to kick something, but since I’m still wearing the black Manolo Blahniks that Matt loves so much, I refrain from doing them any harm and instead pound my hand against the steering wheel.

I immediately call Dallas and let him know what’s going on while I’m stopped at a red light.

“That’s good. Swing by my office. I’ve got someone here you might want to talk to.”

The dial tone sounds in my ear before I can reply and I roll my eyes. No wonder Lorelei finds him so annoying.

I leave a message on Matt’s voice mail so he knows what’s going on. Even though he trusts me to do my job, he still asked me to keep him updated so he wouldn’t worry. Because of me he has yet another thing added to his plate to fret over. I feel bad. He should be worrying about Melanie and not about my pathetic excuse for an ex-husband.

Parking my car in front of Dallas’s office fifteen minutes later, I hurry into the building and stop in my tracks when I see who is sitting in a chair in the middle of the room filing her nails.

She looks up at me and scowls.

“What is SHE doing here?” Melanie asks Dallas as he comes out of the back room and hands a cup of coffee to her.

“Dallas, what the hell is going on?”

Why would he have Melanie here? She has nothing to do with Andy. And by the looks of it, she remembers me from the night at the club when I pretended to be a drunk socialite with her and her gaggle of girlfriends.

“Melanie, this is Paige Mc—”

She cuts Dallas off mid-introduction. “I know who she is. She’s the woman fucking my husband and trying to steal my boyfriend.”

I’m sorry, what?

“You’re separated. And what the hell would I want with the creepy old guy that you’ve been screwing behind Matt’s back while trying to take his father’s company?” I fire back.

“You skanky tramp! How dare you talk to me like that!” Melanie shouts, getting up from her chair and throwing her nail file in Dallas’s direction.

“Did you seriously just call me a tramp, you home-wrecking whore?”

I don’t even realize we advanced on each other until our hands are in the air, smacking at each other like two cats playing patty-cake.

“LADIES! WHAT THE FUCK?”

We ignore Dallas’s shout and continue with our slapping match. One of my hands manages to make its way past hers and I grab a chunk of her hair, pulling as hard as I can.

“LET GO OF MY HAIR, YOU BITCH! THOSE EXTENSIONS WERE EXPENSIVE!”

“STAY AWAY FROM MATT AND HIS FATHER’S COMPANY, YOU SLUT!”

I pull harder on her hair and she lets out a yelp, taking a chunk of skin out of my arm with her fingernails.

I scream in pain just as strong arms wrap around my waist and yank me away from Melanie before I can throw any more insults at her, or finish pulling out the chunk of weave I had my fingers around. My arms and legs flail as Dallas moves me across the room and far away from Melanie.

“Jesus H. Christ. Why are chicks so batshit crazy?” Dallas asks in exasperation as he sets me down on my feet.

“Get her out of here before I kick her ass,” I tell him, shooting an angry look in Melanie’s direction.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on with you two, but I just found out this morning that the guy Andy owes money to is this chick’s boyfriend. We need her, Paige.”

Whoa, what?

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

Dallas raises his eyebrow at me. “Why do I feel like I just got myself into a whole shitload of trouble by helping you out with this?”

“First, tell me something. How do you know for sure that she’s dating the guy Andy owes money to?” I question.

“A couple of calls that came through on your phone were from a number you didn’t have programmed in your contact list. I had my guy trace the number and it was hers,” Dallas explains, pointing his thumb over his shoulder in Melanie’s direction. “I stopped by her place this morning to question her, and she sang like a canary.”

I look over at Melanie and see her pull out a compact from her purse and check her reflection in the small, round mirror. She straightens her hair and adds some powder to her nose before glancing over at us.

“Can we hurry this along? I’ve got a yoga class in twenty minutes.”

Dallas sighs and puts his back to her. “She told me she and her boyfriend got into a fight because he was talking nonstop about some hot model, and how he kidnapped her husband to try and get money that was owed to him. He was showing a picture of you in a magazine to everyone, bragging about how he was going to nail you. Melanie found your number in Andy’s phone. She was going to tell you to stay away from her man, but her boyfriend snatched the phone away before she could leave a message. It seems little Miss Melanie over there is jealous of you.”

“Oh please. I am NOT jealous of her. You know what? I changed my mind. I’m not going to help you,” Melanie says. She turns and stalks toward the door.

Dallas runs up to her and grabs her by the arm, spinning her around. “Oh, no. I don’t think so. You see, you’re now an accomplice in kidnapping and extortion. You’re going to help us, or you’re getting a free ride straight to the women’s correctional facility.”

Melanie’s face pales as she stares up at Dallas. “Prison? I can’t go to prison. I’m too pretty for prison.”

“Well, then, you’re going to tell me everything you know about your boyfriend and where he’s holding Andy. We’ll see if we can work out a deal after that.”

I clear my throat and when Dallas turns to look at me, I jerk my head to get him to come over. He sighs and walks back to me.

“Um, you don’t know who Melanie’s boyfriend is?”

Dallas shakes his head. “I didn’t get that far with her yet. I wanted to wait until you got here to grill her more.”

Biting my lip, I look up at him sheepishly. “I know who Melanie’s boyfriend is. Now might be the time to call the police again.”

Dallas grits his teeth in an effort not to shout at me. I have to commend him. He’s holding it together fairly well considering he just had to break up a catfight.

“Who is he?” Dallas growls.

“Ever heard of Vinnie DeMarco?”

Dallas closes his eyes and shakes his head. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. The biggest crime boss this side of the Mason-Dixon Line? This is information that would have been useful, oh, say, YESTERDAY!”

With my hands on my hips, I glare at him. “How was I supposed to know Matt’s case and Andy’s stupid gambling problem would collide like this? You’re a PI too, and last time I checked, you’ve been at it a lot longer than I have. Why the hell didn’t YOU put two and two together, you pompous ass?”

Dallas stares at me for a few beats before a laugh bursts out of his mouth. “Well played, Paige. Well played. You might be beating Kennedy in the ball-busting department.”

I lose the attitude, but keep my chin high. “So, are we going to kick a little Mob ass now or what?”

This is not a good idea. Can you please get your hands off her boobs?”

Matt stares angrily at Ted as he finishes up attaching a bug to the front clasp of my bra. Ted quickly puts his hands up in surrender and backs away from me while I button my shirt back up.

“I know this isn’t an ideal situation, but it’s our best option right now,” Ted explains to Matt calmly. “We’ve been trying to catch Vinnie DeMarco for years. The last call that came in stated that Paige was the only one they would allow to bring in the money in exchange for Andy.”

To say Matt hasn’t been too thrilled about the events that unfolded in Dallas’s office the other day is putting it mildly. Not only was he pissed that Melanie’s Mob-boss boyfriend is the one who kidnapped Andy, he was also really mad he wasn’t there to see me attempt to pull her hair out by the roots. He kissed the scratch she left on my arm and told me next time I should stomp on her foot with my Guccis. And he even knew they were Guccis. If I didn’t think so before, I’m now certain he’s a keeper.

Matt places his hands on either side of my face and stares directly into my eyes. “You don’t have to do this. It’s too dangerous.”

I reach my hands up and place them over the top of his. “I’ll be fine. The place will be surrounded by cops. I’m just going to walk in, hand over the money, grab Andy, and get out.”

“We’re not going to have her out of our sight for one minute, Matt. I promise,” Ted assures him.

The door to Fool Me Once flies open and I cringe as Kennedy comes running inside, storming right over to me with a pissed-off look on her face.

I don’t know what I’m more afraid of right now—walking into a den of mobsters or dealing with Kennedy’s wrath.

“Sorry, Paige. I had to call her,” Ted apologizes.