Maybe she’s not coming.

It was more than possible that she had thought better of hanging out with a fucked up lunatic like me and refused to show up.  If that were the case, Mark would have contacted me—I was sure of that.  He would have at least called into the main office and had someone step outside and look for me.  Hell, considering how dedicated he was, he’d probably just show up here and offer me a ride.

How long was I going to wait?  An hour?  Two?

I wasn’t used to waiting for someone—depending on someone.  It just wasn’t a good idea.  I hadn’t relied on anyone since Corporal Martinez, my spotter during a mission in Afghanistan.  It had been cut short.  He was called back home, and I never saw him again.  Three weeks after that, during the last mission I was on, I was in charge and everyone was depending on me.  It didn’t do them any good, either.  All of that seemed like another lifetime ago despite how close it was in my sleep-time memories.  Since then, I hadn’t depended on anyone.

Not until now.

I didn’t like it, not in the least.  What if she had decided I wasn’t worth the effort?  As much as I might have agreed with her, the thought pissed me off.  Rinaldo was right—bitches weren’t worth the trouble.  Look at where I was now and what I was considering because of her.  If it weren’t for her, Trent would only have prison to hold over my head.

“Fuck it.”  I stood up and decided to start walking east on Van Buren.  I didn’t really know where I was going to go at this point and figured I might as well just walk to my apartment.  I had no idea what condition it might be in, or if the door was locked, or if the whole place had been cleaned out.  I also didn’t have anywhere else to go.  I gripped my fingers against my palms and tried to get some clarity in my head.

“Evan!”

I turned to the sound of my name and saw Lia walking quickly up the sidewalk from the other side of the building.  The relief I felt was frightening.  I felt my heart speed up in my chest at the very sight of her.  My arms ached to reach out and bring her close to me, and my cock throbbed at the possibilities her presence presented.

So much for not depending on anyone.

I unclenched my fists and turned around to move down the sidewalk to meet her.  The lunch crowd was milling around us, and as much as I might have wanted to pretend they weren’t there, rush up and pull her into my arms, I knew that wasn’t the least bit cautious, and I needed to be cautious.

I hesitated in my steps, stopped a couple feet in front of her, and just stared for a long moment.  The wind picked up some loose strands of her hair and blew them around her neck, drawing my gaze that way.  I recalled the salty taste of sweat in the same place as my cock moved inside of her, and thoughts of kissing her left my head as the desire to fuck her on the street grew in their place.

She took a step forward and began to reach for me, but I stopped her with a shake of my head.

“Not here,” I said quickly.  “Too many people.  We need to get out of the open.  Where are you staying?”

“I’ve got a place rented on the west side of the city,” Lia said.  “It’s not great, but it’s affordable.  It’s close to Rehm Park, so I have a good place to walk Odin.”

“Where’s your car?”

“I don’t have one.”

Shit.

“How did you get here?”

“The train.”

The one time I wanted to avoid public transportation, there wasn’t another option.  Fucking Murphy’s Law.

That did explain what took her so long.  Without many choices available, I grabbed her hand and led her over to the nearest Blue Line entrance.

“Shit,” I grumbled as we approached the station.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t have my wallet or anything,” I said.  “My transit pass is in there.”

“I’ve got it.”

We had to go to the convenience store next to the station to get a one-day pass for me, then headed back toward the trains.  We waited for only a minute or two before the next train stopped, and I pulled Lia behind me as we slipped through the doors before they closed.

The car was crowded but not completely full.  There were two available seats facing the center of the car.  Riding sideways wasn’t my favorite position on a train, but it was better than facing backwards, which made me nauseated.

As soon as we sat, I could feel the tension in my body begin to rise again.

I noticed the similarities between this time and when Lia had first lain beside me in the cabin.  My heart was pounding in my chest, and even my skin felt tight around my muscles.  I tensed the muscles in my thighs as my brain was flooded with memories of her soft skin and the way she smelled in the morning—a combination of something sweet-tasting, laced with my own scent over her skin.  Back then, I had attributed the feelings I had toward her to just wanting to fuck because it had been a while, but I couldn’t think of it the same way now.  This time, it hadn’t been months since I had been with someone—only a couple of weeks.

“Yeah, and you killed her.”

“What was that?”

Shit.

“Nothing,” I muttered.  I silently thanked no one in particular for train noise.  Lia looked a little confused but didn’t press, so she must not have heard the words I said.

I looked from her eyes to her mouth and tried to remember exactly what she had tasted like when I kissed her.  The memory was there but not as vivid as some of the others.  I wanted to remind myself how it felt to press my mouth against hers and how her hair felt in my hands.

I wanted to relive every cum-covered moment—that’s what I wanted.

The train screeched, stopped, and the doors opened up.  People got off and others got on.  With a lurch, we were headed back down the tracks again only to go through the whole stop-start scenario over and over.  Each time, there were more people getting on than off, and the car quickly became standing room only.

“What stop again?” I asked her.

“Oak Park.”

Seven stops away.  I wasn’t going to be able to wait that long.

“Come on,” I said as the train slowed to a crawl and the doors slid open once more.

“Where are we going?” Lia asked as I dragged her from the train and through the station.

My eyes darted from left to right, trying to find any place even remotely suitable.  There wasn’t anything inside the station, so I led her out onto the street and toward a nearby office park.  Slipping between two buildings, I turned abruptly, grabbed her, and shoved her against the red brick.

My mouth covered hers, and my hands grabbed at her waist to pull her against me.  I felt her hands move up my shoulders, and her arms wrapped around my neck as she moaned into my mouth.  As I tasted her tongue, I was immediately transported back to our small, cramped, hot sanctuary in the middle of Arizona.  My cock pressed tightly against my fatigues as it felt the warmth of her body so close.  It obviously didn’t want to waste any time leaping out and doing exactly what needed to be done.

It was a matter of sanity.

“You still want it like this, don’t you?” I breathed against her lips as I broke our kiss.  My hands moved up her sides, then back down around to grip her ass.  “Hard and fast—right here against the fucking building.”

My hand found its way underneath her skirt, and my fingers slid up her thigh.  I could feel the edge of her lacy panties and quickly wrapped my fingers into the fabric.

“Evan…” My name on her tongue was a protest, so I stopped.

Leaning back slightly, I looked at her flushed face.  Her eyes were dilated, which made them appear almost black against her pale features.  Her eye makeup was smeared a little, and her breath was coming in gasps.  As I stared at her, her tongue darted out and over her lips as her eyes focused on me.

“You don’t want me to stop,” I stated.  “You need it like this.”

She barely had the chance to nod before my hand yanked down sharply and tore her panties off her body.  A moment later, my pants were undone and my cock was out and ready.  I took a moment to lick the palm of my hand and rub it over the head and shaft of my dick.

“Get your legs around me,” I commanded as I lifted her by her ass with one hand and positioned my throbbing cock with the other.  “You still on the pill?”

“Yes,” she breathed as her thighs wrapped around my waist and her heels dug into my backside.

“It’s a good thing.”  I slammed into her and remembered what home was.

It was everything I remembered and more.  The feeling of her body encompassing me was beyond the sensation of the flesh—far beyond.  It was incomprehensible, fantastic, and terrifying.  It was everything I knew I wanted and needed but had refused to pursue because my life was far too fucked up for anything like this.

I didn’t deserve it, and I had convinced myself I didn’t want it or need it.

I did, though.  I knew I did, and now that I had it, I was going to do anything and everything I could to keep it.

She wasn’t completely ready for the intrusion into her body and moaned against my shoulder as I penetrated her, balls-deep, in one swift motion.  As much as I probably should have slowed down and let her get used to me inside of her again, I couldn’t.  My body was on autopilot—searching for the one connection that held meaning for it.

I pulled back and slammed into her again, and again she cried out.

“Lia,” I whispered as I tried to hold myself steady inside of her.  My voice was strangled, pleading, and my dick continued to throb inside of her, demanding more.