Karina Halle - Love, in English

“But,” he added, “it is worth it. I took the time to take care of everything while you were gone. The divorce is almost final. And my daughter can never be taken away from me.”

I felt like the sun was bursting inside my heart, flooding me with utter relief. I felt like I could finally, finally breathe again.

Mateo would never lose Chloe Ann.

All my worries turned to dust, blown away.

“So what are you doing on the plane with me?” I asked when I composed myself.

“I’m taking you back home,” he said. He noted the puzzled look on my face. “Madrid is your home. I am your home. We’ll go to Vancouver and I’ll meet your family. It is only fair, yes? And then I’m taking you right back to Spain.”

“And if I say no?”

His smile faltered, his eyes creasing sadly. “Then I will have tried my best. I bought you this plane ticket because I knew that a nine hour flight was the only way I’d be able to have your attention, where you wouldn’t be able to run, to leave. I figured I would spend the entire flight trying to win you back. Trying to make you love me again.”

My heart swelled, my lower lip trembling. “I never stopped loving you,” I said quietly.

He reached out and stroked my face, running his fingertips over my cheekbones. “I couldn’t quite be sure. Sometimes, when love makes you mad, you wonder if it makes other people mad too.”

I nodded. “It does.” I sighed and looked down. “I’m sorry that I gave up on us. I just tried to do the right thing.”

“That is okay, Vera. I love you enough to make up for it. I would never let you go without a fight.”

I shot him a quick look. “You didn’t know I was at Claudia’s for some time. I could have left the country.”

“You are impulsive,” he noted, “but I figured it would take you a while to make arrangements. And even if you had left, I know your address in Vancouver. I would have found you. You burn too brightly to be missed.”

I closed my eyes at that and smiled, a happy tear streaking down my cheek. I was finally letting myself believe it, believe that we were together and had a chance.

“So,” I said carefully. “You still want me?”

He laughed lightly. “Oh, my Estrella.”

He grabbed my face in his hands and kissed me, hard at first, then soft as our lips and tongues melded together, feeling like honey, tasting like gold. I felt him all the way to my toes, making my skin and body come alive.

The woman next to Mateo let out a happy sigh, apparently still watching us.

Mateo and I slowly broke apart, our noses pressed against each other, gazing into each other’s eyes. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face. I gripped his hair, holding on tight, afraid to let go. He was here, he was here, he was here.

And he was mine.

“You still want me?” he whispered, the utter vulnerability of his words sinking into me like silk.

“Si,” I said adamantly. “Always and infinity.”

He grinned and pushed up the armrest between us, unbuckling my seatbelt and pulling me to him. He put his arm around me and held on tight, his warm breath at my ear, his heartbeat steady against my back. He held me as the world outside the window turned to night and the starshine filled the endless sky.

We flew together like the stars.

Five Months Later

“Come on, Vera, you can do better than that!” Josh yelled at me.

“Fuck you!’ I yelled back. I couldn’t even look up to see his face because the moment that I did was the moment I was going to break my neck and legs. I was currently going down Whistler Mountain on a run that was way more challenging than it should have been. While I was a skier in my youth, I’d totally forgotten how to do it. As a result, I’d gone down most of the mountain in a snow-plow position. Several times the tips of my skis started to cross and I freaked out and launched myself into the snow.

In short, it was hell, and I didn’t appreciate my brother yelling at me. He was on a snowboard and was actually really good at it. He drove me crazy zooming down the hill and yelling at me to keep up.

Now I was pretty much near the end and I could see the sprawl of Whistler Village at the bottom of the hill. Most importantly, I could see the large patio where skiers and snowboarders were having their après run beers under the heaters, languishing in the high altitude sunlight.

Beer was my biggest motivator.

Somehow I made it to the bottom and immediately snapped off my skis and then brushed off my ski pants that were caked with snow.

“You did awesome,” Josh said, sliding next to me like a show-off, powder flying everywhere.

“Shut up,” I told him. “Don’t patronize me.”

“I’m not!” he said, lifting his goggles on top of his head. “I mean it.”

“Whatever.” I bent down and awkwardly scooped up my skis. “Get a beer in me and get it in me now.”

“I wonder if they’ve gotten a table already,” Josh mused.

We made our way through the throngs of people walking awkwardly in ski boots, just as I was, and stacked up our skis and board along the rack.

“I see Claudia!” Josh said.

I went and joined him and saw her at a table by the wall, waving at us and looking adorable in her little snowboarding outfit. I probably should have started snowboarding instead of skiing, but how was I to know I’d be so damn terrible at something I used to be good at?

“How was it?” she asked us as we snaked our way towards her.

“Great,” Josh said.

“Crap,” I said. “I nearly broke my legs a million times.”

“Well,” Claudia said, lifting up her beer. “All those shots at the bar last night probably didn’t help, did it?”

I dismissed her logic and sat down. “Why are you back so soon? I thought all you professional people were going to spend all day on the slopes on all them fancy black diamond runs.”

She shrugged. “All the shots last night didn’t help me. Ricardo looked worse than I did, so I’m surprised he’s still out there. His loss. I will drink all the beer.”

“No, we will drink all the beer,” Josh said, signaling for the waiter who quickly came over. We ordered a round of beers for us and for our missing ski bunnies.

Josh leaned back and put his face to the sun. “Oh man, I don’t want to go back to work. Can we just live here?”

“Well, I don’t want to go back to work either,” I said. “It’s all grey and shit outside and dark, and things are so boring during the off season.”

“At least your job is kind of fun,” Josh pointed out. “And at least you live in a foreign country. Doing paperwork for Las Palaminos or wherever you work sounds a lot better when you’re doing it in fucking Spain.”

“Speaking of Spain,” Claudia said, looking over my shoulder. “Look who made it back alive.”

I twisted in my seat to see Mateo putting his skis away. He gave us a wave when he spotted us and I grinned in response. He looked fucking sexy in his ski gear, I had to say. I should have figured that Mateo was also an excellent skier. The man who could do fucking everything.

When I started getting my first bout of homesickness around Christmastime, I’d brought up the fact that Claudia and Ricardo had wanted to go to Whistler. Of course, she had said before Mateo had shown up on my plane, resulting in a two-day trip to Vancouver before we returned home to start our new life together. Still, I thought the Whistler trip was something we could all save up for. Besides, I had to return briefly to apply for my work permit. I had been paid under the table for my office services at the Las Palabras office but now I was ready to make it official.

As it was, Claudia and Ricardo were getting kind of blue about the Madrid winter and wanted a change of pace from the usual European ski spots. With Mateo on board and taking care of our hotel and part of our flights, the four of us were able to fly to Whistler and invite Josh along.

Well, actually we invited my mother and Mercy and Charles too, to be nice, but they declined. Oh well, couldn’t say I didn’t try. I wouldn’t stop trying to get close to my mother and sister, but at least I was learning not to take it personally anymore. Sometimes your family was through your blood and sometimes it was through your love.

While the waiter came back and put down the beers, Mateo came over to the table and leaned over me for a lingering kiss. He tasted like snow and fresh air.

“How is your knee?” I asked. “Can it handle skiing?”

“It is holding up.” He lifted his aviator shades and peered down at me. “I saw you, you were doing very well.”

I rolled my eyes and snorted. “Oh, now you’re yanking my chain too?”

“What is this chain you keep speaking of and why is anyone yanking it?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Claudia said, completely earnest. “Seriously, whose chain is this? A dog chain?”

Mateo made a small barking sound and laughed.

I slapped him on the arm. “Sit down, you dog. It’s an expression.”

Claudia made a tsking sound. “These damn English expressions. The moment you think you have the language under control, more letters explode.”

“I do know one expression though,” Mateo said, sitting down next to me and resting his hand on my knee. “We shall get buzzed like a bee.”

We all raised our glasses and clinked them together.

“To getting buzzed like a bee,” I said, smiling broadly at my crew, feeling warmth from the sun and warmth from my friends.

“Here, here,” they said in unison.