I would be totally fucking lying if I hadn’t been secretly wishing for that the whole entire time. What woman didn’t want the dramatic airport reunion scene, the guy running up to her gate at the last minute? I had hoped that maybe that was Mateo’s plan. Seemed I wasn’t the only one.

“That would be more like Mateo,” Claudia said. She gave me a quick look. “But if that doesn’t happen, are you going to be okay? You’re going to need to be okay if he doesn’t show up.”

I sucked in a breath and stared out the window at the Spanish landscape as it flew by. Of course it was nice and hot on the day I left. It would probably be raining when I got home. And would I be okay? Would I be okay with Mateo never showing up, with going back to Canada as planned, alone, on my own, with a scattered life to return to?

Would I be okay?

No.

I wouldn’t be.

Not at first.

But in time, somewhere, deep inside I knew I would be. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not a week from now, maybe not a year. But at some point in time, in this universe and among these stars, I was going to be okay just being me. Just being Vera Miles.

With that strengthening thought, we arrived at the airport. I hugged Claudia and Ricardo at the curb, not wanting to delay our goodbye any longer.

Claudia held me tight, crying into my hair. “I promise to come to Vancouver. Ricardo and I. We’ll do it as soon as we save up. Maybe in the winter for skiing? You could take us to Whistler Mountain.”

“Absolutely,” I said, hoping that Claudia would stay true to her word, that she wouldn’t forget about me over time, forget about what she meant to me. I wanted her as a friend for life, someone to overcome distance and cultures. I think we could make it last.

At least I had that.

I dried away stray tears with my knuckles, trying not to smudge my makeup. I smiled at the two of them, putting on my brave face. “Well,” I said. “Adios.”

Claudia and Ricardo both waved at me sadly. I pulled my bags toward the checkout counter and turned back to see them one last time. Claudia was crying into Ricardo’s shoulder and he was leading her back to the car. I felt my throat pinch again, the sobs wanting to escape. I took in a deep breath and sucked it down.

I went to the Air Canada counter and put on a fake smile that I could barely wear, getting my tickets and checking my bags. All the while I kept looking over my shoulder and searching for Mateo. Was he going to come? Would he show up? Dammit, he had to do it soon. He knew what flight I was on and what time, he bought the damn ticket.

“Are you traveling alone?” the desk agent asked me, noticing my wandering eye. “Or waiting for someone else?”

I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I’m alone.”

She must have caught the sorrow in my voice because she gave me a soft smile. “I like flying alone. It’s one of the few times where you have to pay attention to yourself.”

I nearly sobbed at that. I gave her a tight smile, my eyes welling up. I thanked her, got my tickets, and took off for the security checkpoint.

I wanted to stall on my way through there, knowing that Mateo couldn’t go through without a ticket. I wanted him to catch up with me and take me in his arms and tell me he loved me and that everything was going to be okay. I wanted him to be my home again.

I wanted him in every way I could.

But he never came.

After security, I headed to my gate, still harboring the tiniest seed of hope that he would still somehow come through. Maybe he was on my plane, as ridiculous of a notion as that was.

I was such a dreamer. A romantic deep down inside. After everything I pushed away, I still believed in that great big love, the one that you would create stars and galaxies and universes for.

When the plane boarded, I got to my seat—window, my favorite—buckled up my seatbelt and curled up into a ball, leaning against the window and trying to shield my eyes from the passengers who were still getting on. I felt the people sit down beside me but I didn’t dare look at them. I didn’t dare make a sound. I just let the tears stream down my face as I stared at my last view of Spain. I sobbed silently during take-off. I tried to compose myself as we hit cruising altitude. This was a private moment for me. This was me saying goodbye to Spain.

I closed my eyes and tried to imagine all my best memories, Mateo’s wonderful face, his hands on my body, the feel of being in his arms, Claudia’s smile, the late nights, the sunshine, the feel of the air, the taste of the wine. If I tried hard enough, I could even smell Mateo’s cologne, ocean fresh. It brought me the smallest bit of comfort.

I had to be okay.

As the country of Spain became a distant land below me, as the clouds formed over Portugal, as the continent of Europe carved out its name into the Atlantic, I had to be okay.

I took in a deep breath and looked deep inside me for an answer.

There was only me.

And I knew I was strong. I was resilient. And I wasn’t as bad as people had told me.

I was Vera Miles.

And I might have been the villain of my own story.

But I was the hero, too.

I was going to be okay.

Chapter Thirty-Two

I exhaled and adjusted myself in my seat, trying not to elbow my seatmate, which was impossible. I totally knocked them off the armrest.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, still trying to keep my shitty red nose and puffy eyes hidden from view.

“I’m sorry, too.”

The blood in me stilled.

The voice.

That voice.

No.

No, it fucking could not be.

I very slowly turned my head toward the passenger sitting beside me, looking at them for the first time.

Mateo was right there, staring at me, his quiet smile and soft eyes just inches away.

My breath hitched in shock. I was dead, wasn’t I? The plane crashed on take-off and I was dead! Or sleeping. I was sleeping.

I slowly tore my eyes off of him and looked around at the other passengers on the plane, wondering if they were dead too or asleep or strange, or if something was out of the ordinary, some sort of sign that I was dreaming or God was playing the world’s cruelest practical joke.

“I was hoping to get your attention earlier,” he said with a shrug. “But you never looked this way once. I can see why, your little red nose.”

I continued to stare at him like a deer in the headlights. I started shaking my head in disbelief. “No. No, h-how can you be here?”

“Is it bad that I’m here?”

I shook my head again, licking my lips, trying to find words where there were none. Everything around me throbbed as if in slow motion. My mind was officially blown and the rest of me was struggling to catch up.

Mateo.

Here.

Next to me.

Flying to Vancouver with me.

“I told your mother that I wanted you to be with your family and people who loved you,” he said simply. “Whether you believe it or want it, Vera, you are my family. You are my universe. And I love you more than anything.”

“That is so sweet,” the woman next to him gushed, obviously eavesdropping. Actually, I was sure the whole plane was probably listening to this.

I blinked at him, wishing we had privacy. But really, that didn’t matter. Everything I wished for was here.

“Will you forgive me?” he asked, placing his hand on mine. Warmth flooded through me, a shiver ran down my back.

How could this be real? How could this be happening?

“What for?” I breathed out.

“For not being sensitive enough during everything, for thinking you could handle all of that when I should have never asked you to handle it. You are strong, Vera, very strong, but I was so wrapped up in my own burdens, of what I had to carry, that I thought yours weren’t as hard. But they were. There were many, many things that I did wrong.” He raised my hand up to his and kissed it. “Will you forgive me?”

I still couldn’t believe it. “Of course,” I whispered, my emotions all fighting each other. What did this mean? “There is nothing to forgive, Mateo. You did what you had to do.”

“I know,” he said. “I just wished it could have been different. I forget that you are only twenty-three years old, Vera. You have shouldered so much and you are only twenty-three. Women your age shouldn’t have to deal with these situations. I am in awe of you, do you know that?”

I swallowed hard, unable to ignore the gnawing feeling of doubt in my chest. “And…how are things? With you. And them?”

He smiled and his eyes lit up. “I was granted joint custody,” he said.

I broke out into a wide grin. “Are you serious?”

He nodded. “Yes. I am serious. After you left me, I went and visited Isabel most days.” My face fell but he shot me a reassuring smile. “Do not worry, it wasn’t like that. It was just to talk to her. I very slowly got her to understand. I owned up to everything so there were no secrets. I explained how serious I was about you, what you meant to me, the kind of wonderful and good person that you were. I told her how badly I didn’t want Chloe Ann to grow up without a father. With a lot of patience, I finally got her to sign it over.”

“Just like that?” I asked.

He turned his hand from side to side. “Mas o menos. More or less. I promised her a big settlement in exchange for any humiliation she had to suffer.”

I raised my eyebrows. Figures it would come down to money.