Maxx frowned, his mouth thinning into a line. “Well, there is something going on between us. Right?” he asked, taking a step back, his voice gruff, a shutter going down over his eyes.

I could sense the impact of my rejection. He was pulling away from me, preparing to be hurt. With little thought to common sense, I grabbed him and yanked him toward me, my hands coming up to frame his face.

“There is so much going on between us that it scares me, Maxx. This”—I indicated the space between us—“could get the both of us into a lot of trouble. You’re in a group that I’m helping to facilitate. I could get kicked out of the counseling program. This would most definitely be in violation of your probation. We have to think about all of the implications here,” I reasoned.

As if angered by my appeal, Maxx grabbed my face and roughly pressed his lips to mine, his tongue parting my lips and invading the deepest recesses of my mouth. He plundered and took without waiting for my compliance. This wasn’t about me. This kiss was all about him. He pulled away before I could react.

“I don’t give a shit about the implications, Aubrey,” he warned, his eyes flashing in the shadows.

My heart beat furiously in my chest. Maxx was a loose cannon. There was no way to control or dictate how he would handle the situation we found ourselves in.

He felt it, he reacted.

He thought it, he acted.

How could I not expect this to blow up in my face?

And even more perplexing was why a part of me did not care at all. Why was I thrilled at the intensity I saw when he looked at me, no matter the consequences? Why did I find myself arching my body to get closer to him as we stood in a darkened corner of campus where we could be discovered by anyone?

“Come home with me,” Maxx murmured as he bent his head low, nuzzling my ear. I shivered, and it had nothing to do with the cold.

“Please,” he whispered against my neck.

“We have to be careful,” I cautioned before my wits left me. Maxx didn’t acknowledge my words. He didn’t alleviate my worries. He didn’t comfort or placate. Instead, he pulled me into the black and devoured me there. And I was happy to go with him.

And later at his apartment, as he undressed me, slowly, reverently, I convinced myself that this choice to be with him was the only one worth making.

Maxx kissed every inch of my body, spreading my thighs with his strong hands and using his tongue and lips on the most intimate part of me.

I had given myself to him completely, bared my heart and soul.

I watched him as he removed his clothing and then covered me with his body, positioning himself between my legs.

One last twinge of reluctance buzzed around in my head. The fear that this step wasn’t one I should be taking. That sex with Maxx was binding and final. He would own me.

And I wasn’t confident his possession was something I could survive intact.

But then Maxx kissed me deeply and thoroughly, and all thoughts of denying this moment were gone.

I wrapped my arms around him, my legs securely at his hips. The tip of him pushed slowly inside me, joining us together.

I gasped, he cried out. I moved, he held on. He pressed himself as deeply as my body would allow. Every inch of us fitted together, uniting perfectly.

Maxx growled romantic nonsense in my ear as he slid in and out of me. “I’ve been waiting my entire life for you.” He kissed the sensitive skin beneath my ear.

I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to make promises and declarations I was scared neither of us could keep.

Maxx dug his fingers into my thigh as he lifted it up and over his hip. He cupped my cheek and looked down at me, his eyes dark and full of a tenderness that took my breath away.

“I want this, forever,” he whispered, his voice hitching as he angled his hips and pushed deeper. I matched his rhythm, his desperate words ringing in my ears as we climaxed.

These were sentiments I didn’t think it possible he should be feeling. Not yet. I wasn’t sure I was ready for his pleas of forever.

Yet I longed for it.

And in the heated darkness, I couldn’t deny I felt these passionate truths as well.

chapter

twenty-one

aubrey

waking up the following morning, I was on the edge of a full-on freak-out. I blinked my eyes in the dimness, trying to make out where I was. My brain couldn’t compute why I wasn’t at home, in bed, surrounded by my stuff.

Then arms tightened around me, lips brushing the back of my neck, and I froze. Well, shit, now I remembered.

I had slept with Maxx Demelo.

His words from the night before drifted back through my sleepy brain. Did he really want me forever? Or was it the sex talking?

My chest felt tight as I remembered the look on his face as he stared down at me, his eyes soft and aching with a need I felt just as intensely.

But right now, I really needed to use the bathroom.

I squirmed in Maxx’s embrace. My bladder felt ready to burst, but Maxx didn’t seem to want to let me go anytime soon.

I turned on my side, thinking I could slide out from beneath his arms. But now that I was facing Maxx—his eyes closed, his sleeping face looking surprisingly young—I didn’t want to move.

I loved looking at him like this, without the cocky confidence or the pained vulnerability. Both ripped at my chest. But here like this, quiet in his sleep, he seemed content.

His lips curved up in a smile. “I know you’re looking at me,” he mumbled. I rolled my eyes.

“I really need to use your bathroom, but I’m sort of pinned to the mattress right now,” I remarked dryly, wriggling again.

In one fluid movement, Maxx opened his eyes and rolled me on my back, his hips fitting between my legs and lining up with me perfectly. We were naked, having not bothered to get dressed the night before. My body instantly responded to his proximity.

“I like waking up with you here,” Maxx said with a smile, slipping inside my wet entrance just a fraction of an inch.

My breathing became shallow, and the coil of burning lust knotted itself in my belly. “Oh, god,” I moaned as Maxx pressed farther inside me.

I arched my back, my breasts pushed forward, and Maxx took one of my nipples into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the tight, hot bud.

He still hadn’t pushed in the rest of the way, and I was a squirming, writhing mess beneath him. I dug the heels of my feet into his ass, trying to push him forward, but he resisted me, chuckling against my breast.

Then, just as I thought he’d slam himself home, he pulled out and rolled off me. I sat up, bewildered, my heart beating wildly and my head fuzzy with my unfulfilled orgasm.

“What the hell?” I glowered at him. Maxx leaned back, his arms crossed behind his head, and grinned like mad.

“Go to the bathroom, do all of your girlie stuff. I’ll be here when you get back,” Maxx teased, giving me a mischievous wink.

I got up in a huff and walked down to the bathroom. The distance from Maxx’s body cleared my head, and I was able to think about the situation I found myself in more rationally.

I thought about what had happened in support group last night, and my blood froze. We had been careless and more than a little reckless. It was only a matter of time until Kristie found out, and then Dr. Lowell and then the rest of the faculty in the Psychology Department.

There was no way to explain away Maxx’s behavior or my inability to respond appropriately in his presence. It was more than obvious how we felt about each other. It was my worst nightmare come true.

But I was quickly becoming addicted to him.

He was all I wanted.

I took several deep breaths before returning to the bedroom. It was still dark out. I had no idea what time it was. It was too early to be awake, but I wasn’t tired anymore.

Seeing Maxx laid out in the bed, waiting for me, filled me with a glowing warmth that could no longer be confused with simple lust. It burned so much brighter than that.

I crawled in beside him, cuddling down beneath the covers, my leg wrapping around his hip, my arm resting on his chest. I tucked my head underneath his chin, and he squeezed me to his side.

It was nuts how Maxx could make me lose my head with desire but then lull me into a contented relaxation in his arms. The emotions were waging a battle against each other, but I felt each so deeply. The battle made me feel weak in the knees and on the cusp of losing control.

The appeal of that was the same as when I had been at Compulsion. The opportunity to surrender and embrace a side of myself that had lain dormant for most of my life.

Maxx’s fingers swept up and down my arm, a soothing gesture that made my eyelids start to droop. But then he spoke, and all thoughts of falling asleep were gone.

“Thank you,” he whispered, kissing the top of my head.

“For what?” I asked, turning to rest my chin on his chest. His face was shadowed in the dark, a grim reminder of the person he was for part of the time—my mystery man, the person I wasn’t sure how to reconcile with.

“For being here with me. For not leaving that night after the club. For staying by my side even when it got ugly.” His voice broke, and he cleared his throat, smiling sheepishly. He quickly leaned down to kiss the tip of my nose.

“For being who you are,” he finished, his hand cupping the back of my head as he pulled my face to his. He captured my mouth in a searing kiss, and I couldn’t help but melt into him. That was the power he had over me. It was total and absolute. I was helpless to resist him.