Megan Smith - Hard To Love You

I dry the tub with a towel, throw my pillow in and then climb into the cold porcelain to drink my sorrows away. Tomorrow is a new day. I can get through anything. I don’t need anyone.

I enlist my sister and Jaylinn to help me win Hailey back. Both girls had little hope since Hailey insisted that she was over me, but after making some amends I have all the girls on board.

Jaylinn suggested throwing us a birthday party and inviting Hailey. It was a long shot because the party was for us. MacKenzie said she had something else up her sleeve if that didn’t work. I didn’t know what that other thing was but she was convinced it would bring Hailey home.

Cooper and I are home for a few days before we have to leave and go on the road again. My days home are packed with seeing houses. Mom walked through a few for me but she said they weren’t my style. I was really hoping the few that Mom had seen would work but I didn’t want to jump into something until I was hundred percent sure it is the house for us.

Early afternoon comes and I’m starving. I need to meet the realtor at one, which gives me about a half hour. I pull into Scotto’s pizza shop to grab a few slices.

I order two slices of plain cheese and a bottle of water. I reach into my pocket to pay and I hear someone clear their throat behind me. I turn slightly, thinking I am in their way.

Lily’s blonde and brown hair is tied over her shoulder, her eyes look tired and her cheeks are sunken. She looks like shit. My gaze drops to her stomach, which is sporting a tiny belly. My fucking heart drops, along with the money in my hands. My world starts spinning and my breath comes in shallow pants.

She’s pregnant.

“Can we talk?” Lily asks. She looks scared and uncomfortable.

I nod because I’m not sure I can talk. Lily walks to a table in the back of the shop, away from prying ears. I feel like the whole world has stopped and is watching the Lily and Mason show. I reach down and pick up the money I dropped. I slap some bills on the counter and follow after Lily.

“So,” Lily starts.

I cringe. She’s going to tell me this baby is mine I know it. What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t want this kid with her. I can’t stand to even look at her. What did I do? This was supposed to be Hailey and me.

“Mason stop.” My eyes shoot to hers. “It’s not yours.”

I let out the breath I was holding and take a couple of deep breaths. The elephant that was standing on my chest has now stepped off. I saw my life crashing around me.

“It’s not?” I ask, needing confirmation one more time, just to be sure I heard her right.

Lily confirms, “No it’s not.”

Lily rests her hands on top of the table playing with the salt shaker. “What did you want to talk about, Lily?”

Lily puts the shaker down and says quietly, “I just wanted to say that I was sorry for that shit I pulled a few months back. Brittany got in my head.” That explained a lot right there. “She thought I could try and pull what she did to MacKenzie and Dominic. The crazy bitch wanted me to blame this,” she points to her stomach “on you. I told her I couldn’t do that and you weren’t the one I wanted anyway. Brittany said there was no way that I could break up MacKenzie and Hunter and you were the next best thing.”

“Fuck.” I cursed.

“Exactly. I wasn’t thinking straight. Hailey walked in while I was buying the test and I thought that was a sign or something.” She shakes her head. “It was a sign to run like hell away from crazy. But then the panic set in and I went with it. Later that night you showed up at the bar. I was at the bar to tell Pat I was pregnant but then I saw you and needed to apologize. I didn’t want Pat to know what I did so I asked you to dance. You were trashed, Mason. I went with my gut. I knew deep down Pat would never want this baby. I told him when you stumbled into the bathroom. He did exactly what I thought he would. He told me to have an abortion; an abortion Mason, all because he didn’t want to leave his perfect life behind. He stormed out and left me in a panic. Brittany’s voice was in my head, ‘Pin it on Mason. He’s your ticket out of this mess.’ So I took you home that night and pretended that we slept together.”

I take my baseball hat off and set it on the table. So many emotions are running rampantly through my head and it feels like it’s going to explode. My first thought is that Brittany needs to be stopped; she can’t keep fucking people’s lives up. Someone should have turned her ass over to the police for running MacKenzie off the road. Next, Lily is as bad as Brittany for following through with Brittany’s plan. What kind of twisted fucking mind game is she playing? She ruined Hailey and I. Destroyed us. And Pat, what the fuck? He knocks someone up and now doesn’t want to deal with the consequences? If he was so worried about screwing up his perfect family maybe he should have kept his dick in his pants. Now he’s gone and knocked someone up.

“Say something, Mason.” Lily whispered.

I knew well enough from my sister’s pregnancy that Lily shouldn’t be this upset; it’s not good for her or the baby. “You fucked up, Lily, and I don’t know what you want from me. Haven’t you caused enough God damn drama in my life?”

“I didn’t actually think Hailey would believe me, Mason. I thought you two had what MacKenzie and Hunter had. I’m sorry.”

Had, the key word. Lily was the straw that broke the camel’s back. “Our relationship wasn’t as strong as everyone thought, Lily. Your scheme exploited the weaknesses between us that we had been avoiding. In a way I should thank you for fast tracking an end that was inevitable. I just always assumed Hailey and I could work through whatever problems we faced, but I was wrong.”

Lily sniffs. “I’m sorry Mason. I’ve fucked up and I don’t have a clue as to what I’m going to do. I don’t know how to take care of a baby.” Lily starts to cry. I reach over, grab a napkin and hand it to her. I have no idea why I’m even still sitting here talking to her. I should have left the second she told me it wasn’t mine but I needed to stay and hear her out. I’m not a cold hearted bastard.

Lily takes a minute to compose herself. “Pat doesn’t want anything to do with us. I was stupid to think he would leave his wife for us.”

“I don’t know how to help you Lily but I think you need to turn your life around.” I barely even know Lily aside from the fact that she gets around. I have no advice to offer her.

Lily wipes her nose and sits back to rub her stomach. “I know you don’t Mason, and it’s not your problem but I just wanted to tell you the truth about everything that happened.”

The truth. “There are a few things I need the truth about Lily.”

She nods.

“Did Cooper really sleep with Brittany?”

Lily’s eyebrows raise, “You still haven’t talked to him about it?”

I roll my eyes. “We’ve talked but he doesn’t really remember much of that night and possibly causing a rift in my family isn’t on the top of my list of priorities.”

“Brittany was stuck on Coop for a long time. Logan tried to talk to her about it. Told her she needed to get over it and move on. She couldn’t get over that night years ago.”

I ask a couple of questions that have been burning me up. I need answers, the pieces to the puzzle. “How did she know Dominic and MacKenzie were together? Why would she go after him if she wanted Cooper?”

Lily reaches for another napkin and starts ripping it into pieces. “Logan told her that Cooper’s sister MacKenzie was coming to college at ODU. Logan thought maybe she could talk to MacKenzie and get on better terms with Cooper, that way she could move on. You know, needing to put that shit to bed.”

Anger sets in, “But she couldn’t do that right? She had to try and pay him back through my sister by messing up her relationship with Dominic. She’s a spiteful bitch.”

Lily nods, “Right, but then she fell for Dominic and he only wanted her for a good time, so she trapped him, as you know, by saying she was pregnant. Just like I tried to do to you. I didn’t know any of this until a few weeks ago, when Brittany got drunk and had diarrhea of the mouth. She spilled everything Mason; her obsession with Cooper, wanting Dominic, and running MacKenzie’s car off the side of the road. I had no idea she was that fucking crazy.”

She has no idea. “How did you meet her anyway?”

Lily pushes all the pieces of the napkin together in a circle, “We tended bar together and got talking one night. Just my luck that she knew all of you, huh?”

“You have horrible luck.” I deadpan.

Lily smiles, “You got that right.”

There is a silence that falls over us. I feel bad for Lily, but in a way I don’t. She’s not my responsibility. I have my own problems that I need to fix.

I reach in my pocket and turn on my cell phone so I can check the time. “Well thanks for being honest about everything but I’ve gotta get going.” I slide out of the booth. “See ya around.”

“Bye Mason.”

I walk towards the door, forgetting all about the pizza I ordered.

“Hey buddy. You forgot your slices.” The little, old, Italian guy behind the counter says.

“They are for the girl in the last booth.” I yell over my shoulder while running to my car. I’m on a mission to get something I want and nothing is going to stop me.

A week later, after being very demanding, I’m a proud owner of my first house. It is perfect, only thing missing is my sexy little blonde making it our home.

The second house that I saw was the one I had to have, as I pulled into the driveway for the first time it instantly felt like home. It’s a bungalow crafted house with an attached two car garage. The exterior is tan with a half wrap around porch. Floor to ceiling windows are all along the first floor of the house and there is a screened-in back porch and a patio that leads off that. The house is surrounded by weeping willow trees that block out the rest of the neighborhood. There are four bedrooms and three and a half baths, plenty of room for a family; a family, who would have thought that I, Mason Cahill, would ever be dreaming about settling down. There are hardwood floors down throughout the house, the kitchen and bathrooms are tiled. The family room is spacious and open and has a fireplace nestled into the corner of the room. The kitchen is modern, with a granite counter, dark cherry wood cabinets and all stainless steel appliances. A window above the kitchen sink overlooks the back yard. The master bed has its own bathroom with a tub big enough to fit two and a stand up shower off to the side. His and her sinks too. There is a walk-in closet that has built in shelves and plenty of clothes racks. The other three rooms are similar, big open spaces, plenty of room and each has its own walk in closet. And to top it off there is a man cave downstairs.