Виктория Холт - Daughter of Deceit

At last I was there in the theatre with Charlie and Robert Bouchere in a box looking down on the stage. The curtain went up on the linen draper’s shop. There was singing and dancing and suddenly the line of girls parted and there was Desiree behind the counter, looking delightful in the dress, which was neither too tight, too loose, too revealing nor plain drab.

The audience burst into that loud applause which always greeted her when she appeared, and soon she was into “Can I help you, madam?” before she came out to dance round the stage in her inimitable way.

Dolly came into the box in the interval. He said the audience seemed to like it and with Desiree it could not fail. She had the audience where she wanted them from the moment she appeared.

“So you are not sorry you did not get Lottie Langdon after all,” I could not help saying.

He gave me that quizzical look, as much as to say, you should know by now what that was all about.

He disappeared and we settled down to enjoy the last act.

Before the lights went down I saw that someone below in the stalls was trying to catch my attention. I felt a sudden spurt of laughter rising in me. It was Roderick Claverham. I lifted my hand and, acknowledging my recognition of him, I smiled. He returned the smile. I looked at Charlie. He was discussing the show with Robert Bouchere and had clearly not seen his son. I did not inform him that Roderick was in the theatre. I had learned a lesson. I wondered whether Roderick understood.

Then the curtain went up and we watched Desiree through the final scene with the aristocratic bridegroom declaring: “I’d love you if you were a shopgirl still,” while Desiree responded with some of her most skilful top notes.

It was over. The audience was wildly enthusiastic. There was Desiree, led onto the stage by the man who would love her if she were a shopgirl still. He kissed her hand and then, to the delight of the audience, her cheek. The flowers were brought and Desiree made a curtain speech.

“Dear, dear people … you are too kind to me. I don’t deserve it!”

“You do. You do,” from the audience.

Holding up her hand in mock modesty, she told them that the greatest joy she could know was to play for them. “I knew you would love Maud. I did from the first moment I met her.”

Echoes came back to me. “This stupid creature, why do I have to play such an idiot?”

It was all part of the playacting which was her life.

People were making for the exits. I caught one more glimpse of Roderick in the crowd. He turned to look at me and smiled. I looked towards Charlie. He had still not seen his son.

I went to Desir6e’s dressing room with Charlie and Robert after that. Martha was rapidly helping her to change. Champagne was drunk.

Desiree kissed Dolly and said: “There, I did it.”

Dolly said: “You were magnificent, darling. Didn’t I tell you you would be?”

“I could feel how much the audience loved it.”

“It was you they loved.”

“The darlings!”

“Well, you are rather wonderful, you know.”

“Thanks, sweetheart. Say it again. I love to hear it. And there’s my Noelle. What did you think of your mother, pet?”

“You were absolutely splendid.”

“Bless you, sweet.”

Robert said in his amusing French accent: “Is she … Noelle … old enough to drink the champagne, eh?”

“Tonight she is,” said my mother. “Come, darlings. Let’s drink to a nice run … not too long. I don’t think I could stand Maud for too long. But enough to make it a success and full houses to the end. And may she know when it is the right time to leave us.”

We drank to Maud. It was about half an hour later when we drove back to the house. Thomas had the carriage waiting for us.

There had been a good deal of kissing and more congratulations before we parted, and in the carriage there were just Martha, my mother and myself. The streets were not very busy, for the crowds were fast dispersing.

“You must be exhausted,” I said to my mother.

“Oh, my dear, I am. I shall sleep right through until tomorrow afternoon.”

“Knowing that Maud was a great success,” I said. “It was a success, wasn’t it?”

“Of course. I knew it would be, darling,” said my mother.

Martha looked at me and raised her eyebrows.

“Oh, one’s always jittery just before,” said my mother defensively. “You have to be. If you weren’t, you’d go onstage flat. It’s the life, darling.”

As we were pulling up at the house, I noticed the girl. She was standing near a lamppost, but I could see her face. She looked rather dejected and I wondered what she was doing standing about at this time of night.

My mother was saying: “Oh, I’m so weary, and ‘Can I help you, madam?’ keeps going round and round in my head.”

Thomas had jumped down from the driver’s seat and was holding the door open. My mother alighted. I saw the girl take a step forward. Her face was still tense. Before I could alight from the carriage she was hastily walking away.

I said: “Did you see that girl?”

“Which girl?”

“The one who was standing over there. She looked as though she was watching you.”

“Came to take a look at Countess Maud, I reckon,” said Martha.

“Yes. But she seemed different somehow.”

“Another of the stagestruck crowd,” said Martha. “Thinks she’s another Desiree, I don’t doubt. Most of them do.”

“Come in,” said my mother. “I’m half asleep, if you’re not.”

I knew that we should all find it difficult to sleep. It was like this on first nights … but this night seemed different. There were two things to make it so: the presence of Roderick in the theatre, which set me wondering again about Charlie, Lady Constance and the relationship he must have with my mother; and then the girl in the street. Why had she made such an impression on me? People often stood about to get a glimpse of my mother … outside the theatre and occasionally outside our home, for the press had betrayed where Desiree lived. The girl must have been, as Martha had said, stagestruck: she had wanted to see Desiree at close quarters.

I should be at peace. The first night was over. Now there would be a long run and my mother and I would have more time together.

Countess Maud had settled in— another success for Desiree.

It was about three weeks after the opening night—a Thursday and a matinee. My mother had left for the theatre and I had said I wanted to do some shopping and I would come to the theatre so that I could join her after the performance and Thomas could drive us home together. He often did this. It gave us a little time together before she dashed off for the evening performance.

As I came out of the house I saw Roderick Claverham coming down the street.

“Hello,” he said, and for a few seconds we stood smiling at each other.

I spoke first. “You are still in London, then?”

“I have been home and came back again.”

“How are the remains?”

“No further discoveries. It would be surprising if there were. I was hoping I might see you. I’ve been here once or twice before with the same object in view. This time I’ve struck lucky.”

I felt pleased because he had admitted that he was looking for me.

“Were you going to call on us?” I asked.

“I thought in the circumstances that might not be quite acceptable, would it?”

“Perhaps not.”

“Whereas meeting by accident …”

“Would be quite another matter, of course.”

“Were you going somewhere?”

“Only shopping.”

“May I come?”

“You wouldn’t be interested.”

“I think I should.”

“It is not necessary shopping. I was really going to finish up at the theatre and come home with my mother.”

“Perhaps I could escort you to the theatre.”

“It will be two hours before the show finishes.”

“Well, we could walk round a bit. You could show me this part of London. Perhaps we could have a cup of tea somewhere? Does that seem like a bore to you?”

“Quite the contrary.” , “Then shall we start?”

“Of course, you are attracted to the past,” I said as we walked along. “I don’t think we have anything here as ancient as your Roman remains. My governess is very interested in this area. You see, it is very much associated with the theatre and she is devoted to all that.”

“Perhaps that’s because she is with a theatrical family.”

“There is my mother, of course, but to tell the truth Matty rather despises her achievements. People do when they find someone who has reached the top of what they consider to be a lower grade than they themselves aspire to—particularly if they haven’t made even the first steps towards their goal. You see, Matty fancies herself as a great actress and thinks that she is wasting her time teaching.”

“I should have thought she should have been very proud of her present pupil.”

“We get along quite well. But it is acting she is really interested in. I think in her heart she knows all that is right out of reach. But don’t you agree that people get pleasure out of daydreams?”

“Very likely.”

“It’s an easy way. Matty can live in her dreams—those moments when she is on the stage giving the finest performance of Lady Macbeth, winning the acclaim of the audience, receiving the bouquets, reading about her genius in the next morning’s papers. She doesn’t have to go through all the nerve-racking tensions, the hideous doubts, the nightmare of the opening performance as my mother does.”