Maya Banks - Colters’ Daughter

She smiled or at least she thought she did. Her entire face felt frozen and her lips were still swollen from Max’s kisses.

“I thought you were staying with Mom and the dads tonight.”

“I was. I am. I had to meet a friend in town. I’d totally forgotten. I told Mom I’d be up later.”

The lie fell clumsily from her lips and she hated it. She never lied to her family. She never held anything back from them. Until now. Until Max.

Seth pushed off the post and held out his arms. She went into his embrace and hugged him tightly. As she pulled away, she glanced up at him. “What was that for?”

“You looked like you needed it.”

It was all she could do to hold the tears at bay. She bit her lip and tried to gather her scrambled senses.

“Is Lily busy? I wanted to see her.”

If he thought it was nuts that she was back to see Lily again, he didn’t comment.

“She’s never too busy to see you. She’s inside. Go on in.”

Callie pushed open the door, leaving Seth on the porch. Lily was on the couch, her feet in Michael’s lap while they watched a movie. When they looked up and saw Callie, Lily swung her feet to the floor and sat up.

“Callie! I thought you were up at your parents’. Is everything okay?”

Callie smiled. “I’m going later.” She glanced over at Michael who suddenly stood and took a step toward the door.

“I’m just going out to see if Seth needs any…help.”

Grateful that both her brothers had taken the hint, Callie plopped onto the couch beside Lily who was looking at her with deep concern in her eyes.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Lily said in a low voice. “Max. He’s upset you again. I really think we should tell Seth so he can get rid of him.”

Callie leaned her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. “Oh Lord, Lily, I don’t know what to think.”

Lily scooted closer on the couch until her knee was touching Callie’s thigh. “What happened?”

Callie opened her eyes and turned her head in Lily’s direction. “I saw him after I left here this morning. Outside the grocery store. He insisted I see him. He wanted to talk. He threatened to show up at Mom and Dads’ if he had to.”

Lily’s mouth dropped open. “He can’t do that! He can’t get away with threatening you. I’d like to see him try to show up at your parents’ house. Your dads would kick his ass and if there was anything left, Seth, Michael and Dillon would finish the job.”

Callie held up her hand. “He wasn’t threatening, like menacing or anything. He wouldn’t hurt me. God, I’ve made him sound like a deranged stalker or something. It’s complicated. I told him I’d meet him at his hotel room after I dropped off Mom’s groceries. I made excuses to Mom and the dads about why I couldn’t stay for supper.”

“Oh Callie.” Lily’s mouth turned down into a sympathetic moue. “Tell me you didn’t go see him.”

“I did.”

“And?”

Callie sighed and rubbed a hand through her hair. God, she was tired and emotionally spent.

“He wants to get back together.”

“Over my dead body!” Lily said fiercely. “Did you tell him that ship had already sailed?”

Knowing Lily needed the entire sordid tale, Callie recounted everything Max had said in the hotel room. From start to finish. When she was done, Lily sat back, a pensive frown on her face.

“Am I making it too easy?” Callie asked. “I don’t know what to do. I love him. I still love him. But am I falling back into his arms too easily? I mean, the reasons why he left are valid. But the way he handled the entire situation is just twisted. What if I let him back in and he does it all over again?”

“Does he love you?” Lily asked quietly.

Callie heaved out another sigh. “That’s the question, isn’t it? I’m not desperate enough to ask. Maybe I’m too prideful, but I won’t set myself up for that kind of rejection. I know he cares about me. Call me stupid, but he can’t fake that kind of reaction. He was sincere. Angry and frustrated and sincere. Anytime we’re together it’s like dry wood to a flame. We both go up. If he didn’t care, then why go to all this trouble? Why not just let go? I mean, he made the break. It was done. He never had to see me again. I certainly wouldn’t know how to find him.”

“Those are good questions,” Lily murmured.

“I feel like an idiot. I mean, I come home and mope around for months, and the minute he walks into town I’m supposed to just forget how much I’ve hurt all this time and take him back?”

“Well, no.”

“But on the other hand, does it make me a petty bitch to want him to suffer and to tell him no, no, no, until I feel like he’s paid his penance and then let him crawl back into my life? How does that make me any happier?”

“It doesn’t,” Lily said softly. “Honey, listen to me. All you need to consider is what makes you happy. Stop worrying about what you think you should do to save face or pride or whatever it is you think you need to do. Those things won’t matter in the end. The real question you need to be asking yourself is whether you trust him and whether you’re willing to take a chance on him again. He hurt you. It isn’t about punishing him or yourself. It needs to be about what you want and what you’re willing to forgive.”

Callie stared at her sister-in-law and then leaned forward to hug her fiercely. “I love you, you know. I’m so glad I have you.”

Lily laughed and squeezed Callie in return. They hung onto each other for a long moment before Callie finally pulled away.

“I guess maybe I want him to suffer as much as I have so he’ll realize how badly he hurt me.”

“Who says he hasn’t? From all you’ve told me, he’s not been any happier than you have, and he had to deal with the loss of his mother on top of all that. I’m not saying he didn’t deserve to be miserable for the way he treated you, but maybe you aren’t the only one who has suffered.”

“You’re a wise woman, Lily Colter. I know I’m being petty.”

Lily squeezed her hand. “No, hon, you’re a woman who’s been hurt by the man she loves.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next,” Callie admitted. “He wants to pick up where we left off. He wants me in his bed every night. I’m not sure we can overcome the separation between us that quickly.”

“He may want, but that doesn’t mean he’ll get,” Lily said lightly.

“Oh Max always gets what he wants,” Callie said in resignation. “I have no willpower where that man is concerned. He’s lethal.”

Lily’s eyebrows rose. “That good, huh?”

“Uh-huh.”

Lily laughed. “Callie, I’ve never known you to back down from anyone or anything. Granted our acquaintance is still somewhat new, but your brothers have regaled me with tales of your childhood and your adulthood as well. If anyone can stand up to this Max, I’d say it would be you.”

“Think Mom would kill me if I didn’t make it back up the mountain tonight?”

“Tell you what. I’ll call her and tell her I asked you to stay over. Then we can all ride up together tomorrow for lunch.”

“You are way too good to me, Lily, but I love you dearly for it.”

Lily touched her arm and her expression went serious. “You once helped me through one of the most difficult days of my life, Callie. I’d say we’re good for each other.”

“We girls have to stick together,” Callie said solemnly. “In this family, we’re way outnumbered!”

The next morning, Callie was still sleeping soundly when Lily gently shook her awake. Callie blinked fuzzily and let out a groan. “Is it morning already?”

Lily smiled. “Yeah. I wouldn’t let the guys wake you and made them tiptoe through the living room. They’re going ahead. I told them I’d ride up with you. That’ll give you time to shower and feel human before you face the entire family.”

Callie reached up, framed Lily’s face and then smacked her noisily on the forehead. “God, I love you.”

She heaved herself up and planted her feet on the floor. “What time is it anyway?”

“Eleven. You’ll need to hurry if we’re going to make lunch.”

Callie pushed herself up and staggered toward the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, feeling somewhat human again, she came back into the living room where Lily was sitting in the armchair.

“Ready?” Lily asked.

Callie nodded.

Lily looked dubiously at Callie. “Want me to drive?”

“No, I’m okay.”

“Did you sleep at all last night?” Lily asked once they started down the road toward town.

Callie grimaced. “Not much, I’ll admit. Thinking too much.”

“Did you come to any groundbreaking conclusions?”

“Just that Max has a hold on me that months of separation and anger haven’t managed to break,” she said bleakly.

“You don’t sound happy about that.”

Callie’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. She held her breath as she turned down Main Street and drove past the hotel where Max was staying. Only when they were beyond did she acknowledge Lily’s statement.

“There’s a part of me that’s happy. Really, really happy. Like that bubbly, giddy feeling you get when you’re really excited about something.”

“And the other part?”

“Like I’m worried I’m standing on railroad tracks with a freight train bearing down on me.”

“Well, that’s an image,” Lily muttered.

Callie chuckled. “Best I could come up with on such short notice, but it fits.”

They drove in silence for a few moments longer. Callie turned onto the road that led up the mountain to her parents’ house and deftly navigated the holes, the switchbacks and the loose dirt.