‘Calm,’ Nate murmured.

At his advice, I sucked in a huge breath and with it the fruity scent of Nate’s shampoo. He wasn’t wearing his usual heady cologne, and instead smelled fresh, clean.

For some reason it made me think of him naked.

Oh, boy, Nate naked.

Feeling my skin warm, I saw the question in Nate’s eyes – as if he knew I’d had an indecent thought and wanted to know what exactly it had been.

To shut out his question, I leaned up and pressed my quivering lips to his.

His body tensed for a moment, seeming to want me to take the lead.

His lips were warm and soft as I brushed my own tentatively against them. Realizing he wasn’t going to make a move until I really kissed him, I leaned closer, my breasts brushing his chest, and I pressed my mouth harder against his, my tongue running gently across the seam of his closed lips.

His mouth parted, letting me in. I flicked my tongue against his, and suddenly I wasn’t in it alone. He moved his lips against mine, gently licked at my tongue until all I could taste was sugar and beer and Nate. Our kiss deepened.

Goose bumps rose all over my arms, and my breasts swelled against him.

He groaned, the sound vibrating in my mouth.

My fingers tightened in his hair. I couldn’t even remember putting them there.

My chest was pressed against his. I couldn’t remember him putting his arm around me to haul me close.

God, he could kiss.

And his tongue. Wow. He could use his tongue. The thought of him using his tongue on other parts of me added fuel to the already quickly-growing-out-of-control fire inside of me. My skin was ablaze. I felt like I was going to burst out of it any second, and I just couldn’t care. All I cared about was the taste of Nate.

The pressure built between my legs, and frustration grew along with it. I needed more. More somehow. Clasping my hand around his neck I pressed my knee between his to bring me that little bit closer. Wanting a deeper taste, I sucked on his tongue.

A growl rose from the back of Nate’s throat and suddenly I was pushed away from him. The absence of his mouth was almost painful. It took me a minute to come out of the fog of desire to realize Nate was staring at me wide-eyed, panting.

Reality settled around me.

For a moment I’d forgotten why we were kissing in the first place.

I clenched my hands into fists to stem the trembling in my fingers. ‘Was … was that okay?’ I asked, my voice low and raspy.

Nate’s expression changed, as his eyebrows lifted in disbelief. That I’d asked the question? Without saying a word, he reached for my hand, uncurled my fist, and then placed it on his thigh. Caught in his dark gaze, my heart still pounding from arousal, I pliantly let him graze my hand up his leg. I froze in shock when he slid my palm over the erection straining against the zipper of his jeans. ‘What do you think?’ he asked, his own voice gravelly with arousal.

My eyebrows hit my hairline.

Feeling him hard beneath my hand and knowing that I’d got him into such a state sent a rush throughout my whole body. Not only was I completely turned on, I felt somewhat liberated to know that I could kiss. That my kiss could in fact make a guy as wonderful and as experienced as Nate Sawyer hard for want of me.

Reflexively I ground my palm against him and his eyes grew lidded, his breath stuttered. I felt that telltale flip deep in my lower belly. I wanted his hand on me. I wanted –

I BELONG WITH YOU. YOU BELONG WITH ME …

‘Shit!’ I gasped as the Lumineers blared through the room from my phone and brought me crashing back to reality. Wrenching my hand from Nate’s lap, I couldn’t meet his gaze as I knocked over the box of mini donuts trying to get to my cell. ‘It’s my dad,’ I muttered, and lifted the phone to my ear.

I didn’t have to answer, but Dad always worried when I didn’t – and honestly, right now I needed an escape. ‘Hey,’ I answered, sounding out of breath, which I kind of was. My cheeks burned even hotter at the thought of talking to Dad after having been feeling up Nate.

‘You okay? You sound out of puff,’ Dad asked, concern in his voice.

I scrambled for a lie. ‘You caught me in the middle of Pilates.’

A tap on my knee brought my eyes reluctantly back to Nate. He gestured to the door and stood up. ‘I’m going to go,’ he mouthed.

I searched his eyes for any clue as to how he was reacting to what had just happened, but if he had any thoughts on the matter he was hiding them well. I gave him a little halfhearted wave, barely listening to my dad tell me about this television he’d seen on sale that would be better than the secondhand one I currently owned, as I watched Nate walk out of my apartment.

There was no way I could concentrate after that. I tried watching another movie and eating the snacks Nate had left behind, but my body was still taut from being left high and dry, and my emotions were all over the place. Mostly, however, I was just worried that I’d done damage to my friendship with Nate.

Finally, I caved and sent him a text as I got into bed.

Did shit get weird?

I was staring at the ceiling in the dark when the Lumineers started ‘hey-ho-ing’ at me again, and I lifted my cell to see that Nate was calling. Relief mingled with fear as I picked it up.

Nate was laughing on the other end of the line. ‘A little,’ he answered my text with no preamble. ‘But it doesn’t need to be. Especially if it helped?’

My whole body relaxed into my mattress at Nate’s reply. Despite still feeling a little anxious about the whole thing, I decided he was right. It was only weird if we let it be weird, so I snorted instead and answered, ‘I’m not worried I can’t kiss, if that’s what you’re asking.’

‘Oh, babe.’ His deep voice rumbled in my ear and I was pretty sure my pupils dilated as the tingling started up between my legs again. ‘You can kiss. Believe me.’

‘Well, I certainly believe your dick.’

His burst of shocked laughter did nothing to quell my suddenly burning cheeks. Did I actually say that out loud?

Soda Pop, you’re not in Kansas anymore.

‘Were you blushing when you said that?’ Nate asked, and I could hear his wide grin in his words.

‘Maybe,’ I mumbled, pressing a cool hand to my inflamed cheek.

His response was another hot, low chuckle that did funny things to my insides. As I lay there listening to him breathe, I couldn’t believe how much my mood had been transformed from earlier that day. I’d felt out of touch with life. I’d felt lonely, pathetic, and inexperienced. I’d felt defeated.

Tonight I felt turned on, I felt alive, I felt a stirring of power inside me, and I didn’t want that to go away. The only way I knew how to feel it again … was to ask Nate to help me. But that was really crossing a line, and I didn’t know if he’d do it, and I didn’t know if I was willing to risk our friendship just so I could feel sexually empowered.

‘Liv?’

‘Yeah?’

‘What’s going through your mind? I can almost hear it down the end of this line.’

I closed my eyes, my heartbeat escalating as I readied myself to ask him.

‘Liv?

‘Um …’ The phone actually shook in my hand. ‘Um … I was wondering …’

‘Aye?’

‘I was wondering …’ I slumped as bravery deserted me. ‘What happens next?’

‘Well, I was thinking you could practice flirting in a real situation.’

Alert now, I asked quietly, ‘What does that mean?’

‘We’re going out for drinks with everyone on Saturday night, right?’

‘Yeah? So?’ I didn’t know if I liked the sound of where he was going with this.

‘Saturday morning before my judo class, we’re going shopping for a dress. You’re going to dress in something sexy, so you feel sexy, and then when we’re out at night, you’re going to prove to yourself you are sexy by flirting with a guy and getting his number.’

I was silent as I took this in, already feeling the butterflies in my stomach.

‘Olivia?’

‘Mm-hmm?’

‘Babe, you have nothing to worry about. I promise.’

Trying to be brave again, I put my faith in him. ‘Okay. I trust you.’

10

Yawning, I shook my head when Nate held up a clingy red number.

His jaw clenched as he put it back on the rack. ‘Is there anything you like? And can you please bloody wake up?’

We were standing in the middle of a high street designer shop just off Princes Street, trying to find something sexy for me to wear that night. We’d been attempting this for two and a half hours and although I was deliberately delaying it to torture him, I was unfortunately torturing myself in the process. I threw my hands on my hips. ‘You woke me up at seven thirty in the morning on a Saturday. I’m tired. I’m bored. I hate shopping. I’m one of those women that actually can’t stand changing rooms, and mannequins freak me out. I own a T-shirt that says ONLINE SHOPPING IS MY SAVIOR. Comprende?’

Nate folded his arms over his chest, bracing his legs apart. He was wearing dark blue jeans, black boots, a slim-cut white T-shirt, a black blazer, and a beanie. He looked gorgeous and awake and everywhere we went women surreptitiously gazed at him, their eyes filled with longing … until they turned their focus to me – and the longing changed to envy as they assumed we were together.

I had to admit that part of the shopping trip was kind of fun.

‘Do you think I want to be here?’ Nate asked, irritation clipping his words. ‘I fucking hate shopping.’