Yeah, we guys can have our mind games, too.

Raine dove right into her studies while I did the dishes. I could hear her clacking away on her laptop as I placed clean silverware in the drawer as quietly as possible. When I finished, I stood behind the kitchen island for a few minutes and watched the back of her head as she worked. Her shoulders were stiff and squared, and she didn’t turn to look at me when I came to sit in the chair across from the couch.

Clearly I wasn’t getting anything but the silent treatment tonight, so I cut my losses and went to bed early. Raine continued to ignore me when she finally came into the bedroom. She changed into a set of pale blue short pajamas instead of one of my T-shirts and climbed into bed without a word.

I couldn’t tell her. It would only scare her, and I was paranoid enough for the both of us.

Even with her not speaking to me, I still reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist. Raine remained stiff and turned away from me but didn’t push my hand away. I couldn’t handle it if she did that, which she knew very well. At least I hadn’t pissed her off so much she refused to come to bed. That would have killed me.

Despite the inner turmoil, my dick immediately noticed the close proximity of the only pussy he cared about and started making himself a little more impressive. I had to shift my hips back a bit because I was certain my cock shoving into her side wasn’t going to go over well at all.

I lay my head on the edge of her pillow and watched her. I wanted to tell her I loved her, but my throat was dry, and the words wouldn’t form. Outside, a sudden storm blew up from the east and slammed drops of rain against the balcony doors. I closed my eyes and eventually dozed off, but the nightmares came immediately.

After a few hours of restlessness, I gave up.

With a cigarette in one hand and a lighter in the other, I sat at the table and looked out the glass door of the balcony toward the ocean. The flame rose up and lit the tip of the smoke, and I inhaled in a long, slow motion before blowing smoke out into the room.

Raine would be pissed—well, even more pissed—when she found out I had been smoking inside, but it was pouring outside, and I wasn’t going to get soaked. I’d light a fucking candle or something to cover up the smell though I knew it wouldn’t work.

I couldn’t get the thoughts out of my head. Someone had been here. I couldn’t explain why I knew it, but I did, and it was scaring the shit out of me. All my senses were on hyper-alert, and they sent waves of tension through my muscles until I could barely hold my cigarette.

I kept remembering the cage fight I was in, and the idea of doing that again was extremely attractive. It wasn’t something I could explain to Raine. She wouldn’t get it, and I was a hundred percent sure she wouldn’t approve one iota. I never did tell her where I had been or what I had been doing, but I had been gone a long time. I couldn’t get away with that again.

What if I wasn’t gone so long?

The bar really wasn’t that far away—I’d spent a lot of time just cruising around before I had stopped. I could easily get there in a few minutes, pound some dude, and be back within an hour. Raine would never know.

I looked up at the clock. It was only a few minutes after midnight, which meant the bar was still open and probably still running fights. I could get there in ten minutes, maybe sooner.

A plan formed in my head: I could get up quietly, scrawl out a little note saying I’d be back soon just so she wouldn’t worry if she did wake up, and silently let myself out of the apartment. I couldn’t ride the bike in the storm, but I could take Raine’s Subaru and keep to a reasonable speed all the way to the bar, walk in, beat the shit out of the guy in the cage, and make my way back home.

I’d feel good when it was done. Not completely right again, but good.

Raine would be here alone. Whoever came into the condo could come back again.

All thoughts of leaving her alone vanished. With the window barely cracked open, I chain-smoked the rest of the night. As the storm passed and the sunrise over the ocean began to light up the balcony window, I found a bottle of Febreze and sprayed it around the kitchen.

If Raine noticed, she didn’t say anything.

* * *

I was on guard the whole next day though it probably didn’t make any difference. With my paranoia still at its highest, I considered following Raine to her classes. I knew she’d be seriously pissed if she caught me hanging around the campus. Still, if whoever had been inside the condo had been looking for her, she was vulnerable whenever she was away from me.

I made a mental list of who might have been inside the condo. The most obvious answer was one of Franks’ men, maybe even one sent to kill us both. As likely an idea as it seemed, I didn’t think it was right. John Paul was still in close contact with Landon, and he would know if Franks had ordered a hit on me. Landon would have given me some kind of warning; I was sure of that.

Wasn’t I?

The only other person I could think of was Landon himself, but like John Paul, it wasn’t his style. If he wanted something from me, he’d just come out and demand it.

So who, then?

I had no idea. As I watched Raine walk out the door, I couldn’t stand the idea of her going to class alone, and I ended up following the bus on my bike. I hung out around her classrooms all day, trying to keep myself to the shadows. Thankfully, it was Wednesday, and she didn’t have any evening labs.

She almost caught me when she headed to the university cafeteria for lunch, but I managed to duck behind a tree before she could see me. It was a good thing, too—I was fairly sure that conversation wouldn’t have been a civil one. By three in the afternoon, she was back on the bus and heading home. I sped past and beat her back to the condo.

We ate and she talked about her day. I smiled a lot without saying anything. Every time she asked me what was up, I changed the subject. When we went to bed, I held her against me but couldn’t get past my own head enough to even fuck her.

“Are you going to tell me what’s bothering you?”

“I’m good,” I lied. “Maybe I’m coming down with something. It’s fucking spring break all over the damn beach. I probably caught something from a tourist.”

She wasn’t buying it, but she dropped her line of questioning.

At three in the morning, I couldn’t sleep.

Again.

The dream that had awakened me played back through my head.

We are on the beach, and the helicopter has landed just a few hundred yards away. Raine’s stomach is rounded, and she places her hands over the top of it as she looks down and smiles. She waves at me as she gets in the front seat of the helicopter, and it starts to rise up and away from me. I raise my hand to wave back, but she’s already gone.

My breath caught in my throat, and Raine stirred, opening her eyes slightly.

“What’s wrong?” she asked immediately.

I let my eyes drift to hers and shrugged one shoulder.

“Nothing,” I muttered.

“Bad dream?”

She knew me way too well.

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Are you going to tell me about it?”

I didn’t want to. Talking about it was like living it over again. I also didn’t want her to know how much being back in civilization where people could find us easily scared the shit out of me. I also knew her patience was going to wear out, and eventually I would have to tell her. Telling her about the dream would be far less complicated than telling her I thought someone was stalking us.

Might as well get it over with.

“We were on the island,” I said quietly. Images of the beach and our little shelter near the line of palm trees invaded my head and made my chest ache. “The helicopter was there, and you were getting on it.”

I paused for too long, and Raine pressed me for more.

“I wasn’t going with you,” I finally said.

“Why not?” Raine asked as she moved to prop herself up on one elbow and look at me.

I shrugged again.

“You didn’t want me to.”

“Bastian…”

“It’s just a fucking dream,” I snapped. “You asked.”

Raine tilted her head to get a better look at me in the dim light of the room. She reached out and ran her fingers over my jaw as she stared intently into my eyes.

“There’s more to it, isn’t there?” she said.

Too fucking intuitive.

I looked away from her, let out a long breath, and stared at the balcony door. When I didn’t answer, she poked me in the arm.

“Tell me.”

I let out a long, overdramatic sigh.

“You were pregnant,” I told her.

This time, the long pause was hers. She gripped my jaw and narrowed her eyes at me.

“I’m not her, Bastian.”

Jillian.

She was the woman who conned me into fucking her bareback so she could take my child away to be raised by some other guy. The woman I thought I loved had only used me to get what she wanted—to get what that guy couldn’t give her.

“I know that.”

“I’m not going to leave you,” Raine continued. “Besides, you can’t get me pregnant, remember?”

I’d made sure something like that could never happen to me again.

“Vasectomies are not exactly something a guy forgets.”

I dropped back to the pillows, pulled her down against me, and closed my eyes.

The conversation was over. At least for now, I’d try to keep my paranoia to a minimum.

Chapter Five