Leaning back in my chair, I close my eyes and run my hands through my hair, the pain and memory of my mentally ill cousin’s demise still too brutally raw.

“Bryce, look at me,” Jessica says with a soft but authoritative voice.

I open my eyes and find her gaze.

“I’m going to ask you to think about something and then I want to discuss it next week.”

“Sure,” I respond flippantly with a tinge of arrogance. My intention is not to be an arsehole, after all, she only means well. It’s just, I’m exhausted and want to get home to Alexis and find solace in her warm embrace. Alexis keeps me grounded, she always has and I hope she always will.

“What you’re experiencing is known as ‘unhealthy’ or ‘inappropriate’ guilt. I want you to look at the situation from a different point of view, put someone else in your shoes. Take Lucy for instance. What if it were her? Would you find her just as responsible for Gareth’s death? After all, she too was his cousin. She knew what you knew. She had just as much influence as you—“

“Jessica,” I snap. “Leave Lucy out of this. It—“

“Bryce!” she interrupts just as abruptly as I had. “Just think about what I’m saying and we’ll talk about it next week.”

I stand up, not happy with her request to ‘pretend’ to put Lucy in my place. Gareth’s death had nothing to do with my sister. “Fine, I will see you next week. When is Alexis due to come in next?”

“Alexis and I have arranged monthly visits now. She tends to listen to my advice and not be so sceptical of what you may feel are unorthodox suggestions.”

My eye involuntarily twitches and I clench then release my hand. Bloody hell, she is on a tirade today. “I’m glad to hear my fiancé is dealing with the situation and finding a way to put it behind her. The last thing she needs is to feel any stress in her current state, so thank you.”

Jessica stands and makes her way toward her desk. “Well, she is not the only one.”

“Good bye, Jessica,” I respond just as contemptuously.  “I will see you next week.”

“Bryce,” she says not looking up. “You know that despite your stubbornness, your mother would still be proud of you.”

I sigh. “You tell me this every time.”

“Well, it’s true. She would, and you need to hear it.”

I head for the door without looking back and give her the reply that I always do, “Thank you.”  Except this time, I don’t really mean it.

* * *

A few weeks later, we are standing on the threshold of our newly refurbished apartment with my hands covering Alexis’ eyes.

“Are you ready?” I ask, drawing out the unveiling of the renovations.

She urges me forward. “Yes! Yes! Come on, let’s go in.”

Releasing one hand from her eyes, I turn the handle on the door, opening it for us to walk inside. “Keep them closed until I say, alright?”

She huffs. “Yes, okay, you are such a control freak.”

“And your problem is?”

“Bryce Edward Clar—“

“Okay, okay,” I chuckle, while holding her back against my front and slowly shuffling us along the entryway of the apartment. Leaning down, I slowly and softly whisper into her ear. “You can open them, my love.”

I tilt my head around to get a clearer view of her reaction, seeing her eyelids flutter and the expression on her face morph from anticipation to amazement. It’s not as if she had no idea what the newly refurbished apartment was to look like. Because she did, after all, help redesign it. I guess that seeing it in the flesh for the first time, together with the extra little bits and pieces I’ve organised without her knowledge, is the cause of her happy astonishment.

She steps forward and gazes over the lounge area. “Oh, Bryce, it’s...it’s...wow! It’s wonderful.”

The layout of the apartment is still relatively the same, except now there is no step down into the lounge. Alexis wanted to minimise as many steps as possible, considering a rolling, then crawling, then walking little person was on their way. The other noticeable change is the softer colour palette throughout the lower level, and the now child-friendly furniture—no sharp, sleek lines or edges.

Where there had been greys, whites, blacks and deep blues, there are now creams, beige, fawn and chocolate browns. I’d arranged for new family photographs to be enlarged, framed, and displayed on the walls, together with replica cushions of the ones Alexis went a little cuckoo over when she left Rick. I’d even arranged for some Twister carpet to be laid in my new recording studio, which was no longer really fitting to be labelled a ‘recording studio’. You see, it is now a larger room containing many new toys. Not man toys...but child toys, including the carpet.

Before Alexis has a chance to move further into the apartment, I seize her hand gently and spin her around, stepping her backward until she’s stopped against the entryway wall—my prurient intentions now made clear by the pressing of my raging hard-on against her hip.

“I believe we need to break in this freshly rebuilt wall,” I suggest seductively, pinning her arms above her head and grazing my lips across her ear.

Thoughts of the first time I had her pressed to this very spot flit across my mind, and it’s obvious to me that I want her now just as much as I wanted her then...probably even more.

She takes in a sharp breath, pushing her plump breasts into my chest before exhaling slowly. “What did you have in mind?” she purrs.

Fuuuuuck, I love it when she teases me with her sultry voice.

“I think a complete re-hash...” I murmur as I lightly lick the crook of her neck. “...of our first time together is a good start.”

“Start?” she questions, her voice still low and sexy. “We have to pick up the kids from school soon, Bryce,” she adds, lacking conviction.

Pulling away from her, I look up to my watch then lean back in, stopping only centimetres from her mouth. “There’s a lot I can do to you in the space of an hour,” I say as I watch her lips and how she has no control but to moisten them with her tongue.

“Good,” she smiles. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Not wanting to waste any time, I slide my tongue into her mouth, relishing her luscious warmth and silky feel. An uncontrollable growl resonates from within me, intensifying our fervour and increasing my need to bury myself inside her. To say I’m completely attuned to her body’s needs is an understatement. I know what she wants...likes...needs.

Now feeling her legs weaken, I release one of her hands and hold her hip to steady her. Almost instantly, her newly freed hand finds the back of my head. The tightened grip on my hair fucking exhilarates me.

“Would you like sex up against the wall again?” I ask on a whisper.

“Yes, I’m fucking thirsty.”

I pull away, entertained by her response. Obviously, I was not referring to one of our favourite cocktails, the one which inspired this passionate position in the first place.

She notices my paused state, giggles, and pulls me back in for a kiss. “I’m kidding,” she mumbles. “Now, get on your knees. If memory serves me correctly, you were all about tasting not admiring.”

I shake my head at her sassiness and begin to unbutton her silk blouse, finding her perfect breasts with my hands. Kneading them with heightened hunger, I allow my fingers to massage the plump flesh right before pulling down the cup of her bra and taking her nipple into my mouth. The soft peak hardens at my touch, eliciting my desperate urge to flick it with my tongue.

A sharp, uncomfortable, yet fucking sensational ache ripples through my head as she suddenly grips my hair and tugs ferociously, indicating her approval of my tongues use.

“You like that?” I murmur around her wet nipple.

“Uh huh.”

“What else do you like?”

Her hands glide down my shirt as she makes her way to my belt, their journey south such a turn-on. She finds the buckle and, wasting no time in unlatching it, has my cock in her hands within in seconds. “This...I like this,” she answers.

Fuck! The feel of her warm hands on my shaft stimulates me even further. “So you fucking should,” I growl, a determined new hunger rolling out of me. I allow her to caress my cock for only a few seconds longer before my impatience wins over and I strip her of her clothes.

Taking a step back and stepping out of my own pants, I hungrily take in her gorgeous pregnant form. Her swollen belly is so fucking beautiful that it has my dick twitching with excitement, knowing that in mere seconds my hands will be caressing what I see in front of me.

I raise my eye line to her chest. The rhythmic rise and fall has me intoxicated, together with her eyes which have now become heavy with desire. It is almost the exact same look she pierced me with the first time we were in this position.

“You still, and always will, fucking take my breath away,” I say as I cup her cheek.

She turns in to my hand and closes her eyes, and it’s this small sign of pure love that has me dropping to my knees before her.

Alexis’ hands find my hair, the corners of her mouth lifting in a provocative grin. Fuck! That look does me in every time.

“You want me to taste you, don’t you? To run my tongue in between your legs while you tug on my hair?”

“Yes,” she breathes out. “Yes, I do.”

Grabbing my head, she threads her fingers through my hair and coaxes me forward, her yearning desperation now eagerly prompting me to spread her legs and nudge her clit with my nose.