K. Golland - Attainment

How do you know when you are truly happy, and that your life is ultimately fulfilled in all aspects imaginable? Is that even possible...ultimate attainment? Some people measure their happiness on their level of success, while others measure it on their fortune or ability to live an unencumbered or uninhibited lifestyle. Some people even fool themselves into believing that they are truly happy, when in fact, they are just filling a void with a bullshit pretence.

Not too long ago, I was one of those people; deceiving myself into believing my life was what it ought to be. But, as I sit here now, looking out the window of my City Metropol building toward my penthouse apartment at City Tower, I feel nothing but ultimate attainment. Today, I can finally say that I have achieved everything I have ever wanted in life. Today, my family becomes complete. Today, I marry the love of my life—Alexis. It is today, after setting eyes upon her three years ago, that I will finally be able to call her my wife.

From that very moment when I first saw her, she stirred something within me that had lay dormant—happiness. But it wasn’t until our lips first touched that I knew I would stop at nothing to have her completely. There was just something in that kiss which told me she was the one, something in that instant shifted in me—I needed her; I wanted her.

Wholeheartedly knowing at that point that we were both put on this earth to be together, I realised how I would make that happen. I would show her what she was missing in life. I would show her how it felt to truly be desired and loved. I would show her what her life was supposed to be like—I would show her me...us...forever.

Glancing ever so slightly toward Alexis who is sitting in the passenger seat of my car, I notice her discomfort with an awkward shuffle of her arse. It is obvious she is uncomfortable—again.

Over the past six months, I have watched what she endures on a daily basis while being pregnant. And during those times, I couldn’t help but find myself wondering just what it would feel like. You know...to be pregnant; to carry a small human being inside your abdomen. Would it feel like you’ve just eaten one huge breakfast? Or would it feel like you constantly want to squeeze the baby out from between your legs, the same feeling you get when you can no longer hold onto that shit you’ve been putting off having all day?  I guess it could...it does make sense. Or perhaps it just simply feels like you’ve swallowed a watermelon...whole...a watermelon with moving limbs...and hair?

I shudder at the thought.

Speaking of hair on a baby’s head, apparently our little angel has a decent amount of it. According to Alexis, that is the reason why she is burping so much, or, as she puts it...‘Indigestion.’ Can hair on your unborn baby’s head really make you burp? To me, that’s like saying the socks I chose to wear today make me fart. It’s just ridiculous and completely farfetched. I don’t understand why Alexis feels she needs an excuse to burp, and even when she does belch unexpectedly, I still find her sexy as hell. Probably even more so, because she blushes then comes up with her little pregnancy-fib. Yes, I’m not stupid. Hair on a baby’s head cannot make you burp.

Initially, most of the stuff she’d told me about being pregnant I had put down to being a pregnancy-fib. Some of it resulted in confusion at first, or it had made me laugh in disbelief, or it had just scared the absolute shit out of me. Like when she’d said that a father could experience ‘a sympathetic pregnancy’ or more technically put—Couvade Syndrome.

What. The. Fuck?

 I remember her telling me while displaying that cocky, fucking adorable smirk on her face. ‘Bryce,’ she’d said with one eyebrow raised, ‘there’s a very good chance you could experience morning sickness, weight gain, sore breasts’, she’d rattled on. At that point, I’d had no choice but to interrupt her, saying ‘I don’t fucking own breasts, Alexis. How the hell can I get sore ones? You’re yanking my chain, Hunny.’ But no, she was adamant that it was true, so of course, I Googled it. Well fuck me, she wasn’t lying. A father could actually experience symptoms of pregnancy.

Now, I’ve said it before and I will say it again—I will do absolutely anything for Alexis...anything. Because let’s face it, I worship the ground this woman walks on. But experience sore breasts, breasts I don’t even have, and labour pain? Screw that. I was born with a dick, and not experiencing child birth first hand is a perk of owning said dick.

Alexis’ voice slowly becomes audible, tearing me away from my nightmarish thoughts of Couvade Syndrome.

“Bryce, earth to Bryce,” she says in a sing-song tone.

“Yeah?” I ask a little stunned, before gathering my bearings.

“Are you with me?”

“Sorry, I was miles away.”

“It would appear so. Where is miles away?”

I take off my belt and turn to face her, noticing her concerned expression. “Never mind, I’m here now, Hunny. And it appears that we are here now, too,” I say as I glance around the underground car park of Dr. Rainer’s consulting rooms.

“Yes, we are,” Alexis murmurs, still displaying an expression of concern. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Really, I’m fine. And...,” I say, now directing the conversation to my baby while leaning over to press my lips to Alexis’ stomach. “...today we are going to find out if you need a blue room or a pink room—“

“Oh no, we are not!” she interrupts, and gently pushes my head back.

I move against her shove, returning to her stomach. “Yes, we are.”

“Bryce, I want it to be a secret.”

“Fine, I’ll keep it a secret from you.”

“You can’t,” she pleads.

“Yes, I can.”

“No, I mean you can’t do this to me. It’s not fair that you will know the sex and I won’t.”

I take her hands in mine and smile at her beautifully distraught face. “Hunny, I’m not waiting to find out what we are having. I want to know. I want to be prepared. If you want it to be a surprise, I promise I won’t tell you. In fact, I think I will enjoy not telling you.”

Alexis abruptly removes her hands from mine and shoves me back over to my side of the car. “I hate you,” she grumbles.

I laugh. “No, you don’t.”

“Grrrr,” she growls as she quickly tries to exit the car.

Hurrying out of my side, I meet her and hold her door open as she steps out. “You fucking love me and you know it,” I say, leaning against it with my ankles crossed while pretending to brush something off my shoulder in a show of cockiness. I really shouldn’t bait her, it’s just...I can’t help myself. Her little fight-backs are always such a turn-on.

She slowly stands to her feet, giving me a little Alexis-attitude. “Yeah, well that can change.” Like fuck it can change.

I waste no time and bend down, gently sweeping her off her feet and placing her upon the bonnet of the car. “No. It. Can’t. Change,” I reaffirm, before taking her head in my hands and pressing my mouth to hers.

The remnants of her toothpaste coat my tongue as I thrust it into her mouth, possessing it like it’s mine. Well...it kind of is mine; she is mine.

My possession of her tongue forces a moan to escape her which brings a smile to my face. I love it how she reacts to my touch.

Sliding one hand to the back of her head, I pull her closer, prompting her tongue to delve deeper. Fuck! I want to take her here...now...on the Lexus. I know how much she loves being fucked in, on, and against my cars.

My cock springs to life, encouraging my thoughts of making love to her before our appointment. But I know we can’t, we shouldn’t. Well, not here, anyway. The thought of anyone seeing her in the throes of passion does not sit well with me. Only I get that privilege.

I reluctantly separate our adjoined mouths and rest my forehead against hers. “Come on, we need to leave before I strip you naked and run my tongue right down your centre. Believe me, the thought is crossing my mind.”

Her mouth drops open, but she then shuts it again and smiles, refusing to budge and displaying a cheeky grin on her face.

“I’m serious. Come on,” I say, taking hold of her hand and shaking my head in amusement. Alexis, when pregnant, is insatiable...horny as fuck...as randy as a rabbit. Hell, she almost wears me out...almost!

Not before long, we are in Dr. Rainer’s office, Alexis lying flat on the examination table and the ultrasound image of our baby swirling around on the monitor. Her hand is gripping mine with an intense clasp as we wait for the sound of a heartbeat.

She won’t admit it, but I know this is hard for her. How could it not be? It wasn’t long ago that we were both here staring at a similar image, that image being Bianca. If fate hadn't decided to be cruel and malicious during that time, Bianca would now be approximately four months old.

I take a deep breath, push aside my sad thoughts and smile at my fiancé. I have to be strong for her, because God knows she is forever putting on a brave face. What Alexis has experienced in the past eighteen months is more than most would experience in a lifetime. Her continuous strength and resilience blows me away, together with her ability to take on life’s ruthless challenges and not only meet them head on but to somehow find a way to conquer them. When all is said and done, Alexis is simply amazing, and I thank my lucky stars every day that she has agreed to become my wife. Not only that, but she is carrying my second child, and her two children—Nate and Charlie—have accepted me as their stepfather. I couldn’t be more proud.