MARGOT: Now you made me hungry for sausage.

ME: You’re disgusting. And you’ve scarred me for life. I’m never getting pregnant for fear of sausage toes and bedazzled orthopedic shoes.

It’s a few minutes before she texts me back.

MARGOT: Mom just texted me that you’re not coming!!! What in the hell, Soph??? You were going to save me from the tug-of-war between Mom and Gwen. You know how those two are together!!

ME: You’re on your own. I really hope they fight over who gets to clean out the lint between those sausage toes. Maybe they’ll have to use dental floss.

MARGOT: You’ve given me a mental picture I’ll never be able to get rid of. I curse you with sausage toes for the rest of your life!

ME: I’ll come when the baby’s born.

MARGOT: Promise??

ME: Promise

MARGOT: So has Griffin gotten there yet?

ME: None of your business.

MARGOT: Give it up. No, wait…don’t give it up.

ME: Ha. Ha.

I scroll through all the social media sites, wasting time waiting for Griffin to call me. My phone finally rings, and his name flashes across the screen. I don’t even try to stop the smile that breaks out across my face.

“Hey!” he screams over the loud music and noise in the background.

“Hey! Where are you?” I ask.

“Matt’s.”

I’ve already seen several posts from people hanging out in Matt’s backyard and pool house, including Addie, my best friend since the third grade.

“Are you on the way to Margot’s?” he asks.

“Change of plans. I’m staying with Nonna and Papa. But I don’t have to be there for a few hours.”

“What? I can hardly hear you,” he says in a loud voice.

“Change of plans!” I scream. “I’m staying here.”

I can hear the steady beat from the bass but can’t make out which song is playing.

“I can’t believe your dad didn’t make you go,” he says.

“I know, right? Want to come here? Or I can come to Matt’s.”

He’s quiet a second before saying, “Come to Matt’s. Everyone’s here.”

I feel a pang of disappointment. “Okay, see you in a few,” I reply, then end the call.

***

The crowd at Matt’s is bigger than I expected. Today was the last day of school before the holiday break, and it looks like everyone is ready to celebrate. There must be a million lights strung over his house and the bushes and trees. Really, there are lights covering anything that stayed still too long.

Most people are in T-shirts and shorts, and even with all of the decorations it’s hard to feel festive. Doesn’t really feel like winter break when you’re swatting mosquitoes. Stupid Louisiana weather.

I park my car four houses down, the closest spot I can find. Even from this far away, I can still hear the deep thump of bass coming from Matt’s backyard. It wouldn’t surprise me if the neighbors call the cops within the hour. Hopefully, we’ll be gone by then; it would be hard to explain why I was here instead of halfway to my grandparents’ house when one of the deputies inevitably calls my dad.

When I get to Matt’s, I spot a guy and a girl sitting in the grass near the driveway, and they seem to be arguing. The drama doesn’t usually get started this early. They get quiet when they notice me, and I pick up the pace, trying to give them their privacy. Following the music, I head to the backyard toward the pool house. Just as I’m about to round the house, I feel a tug on my arm.

And then I’m swallowed in a breath-crushing hug.

“I thought you weren’t coming!” Addie squeals loud enough that several people turn in our direction.

“Can you believe I talked my parents into going without me?”

“I can’t! Are you staying at Nonna’s?” She sticks out her bottom lip in a pout. “I’m still barely going to see you!”

I laugh. “Yes, you will. I have a plan. Nonna will be so busy during the day, she won’t even miss me. I’ll head back here and we can hang out.”

“Your parents will flip if they find out. We’ll have to hide your car.” Addie jumps up and down. “Oh! And bring Olivia. I haven’t seen her in forever.”

I nod, even though I doubt she’ll want to come back with me. Olivia is one of my many cousins and the daughter of Mom’s twin sister, Lisa. We’re only two months apart in age and used to be super close when we were younger, but we’ve seen less and less of each other over the last couple of years. “Olivia is helping Nonna at the shop. I’m not sure she can get away.”

Addie’s eyes brighten; then she starts dragging me to the pool house. “We’ll just have to find a way to break her out of there.”

“Have you seen Griffin?” I ask, changing the subject away from Olivia.

“Not yet, but Danny and I just got here. Maybe he’s inside.” She nods toward the pool house. “Want a beer?”

“Nah, I have to drive to Nonna’s soon. I’ll find a bottle of water somewhere,” I say as we part ways. Addie heads to the keg hidden in the shrubbery and I push through the crowd. The music is so loud once I get inside that the first few people I talk to can’t hear me at all.

I finally make it through the room and find a few of Griffin’s friends.

“Sophie! What’s up!” Chris yells, then tries to hug me. He’s already down to his white undershirt and boxer shorts. I hold my arm out to keep him at a safe distance. Chris is the guy that always manages to get one step from naked at parties. At the school Halloween dance, he came dressed as a cowboy, but by the end of the night all that was left of his costume was the pair of chaps over his boxer briefs. He got a week’s worth of detentions for indecent exposure.

“Not much. Where’s Griffin?” I ask, then turn around to scope out the room.

Chris waves his hand behind him. “Somewhere back there. Went looking for a beer.”

I nod, then scoot around him. It’s hard to make any progress through the crowd, but I finally spot Griffin just as he turns into the small kitchen in the back of the pool house. It takes me a few minutes to catch up, since I stumbled into the middle of a dance circle and Josh Peters won’t let me leave without spinning me around a few times. As I’m just about to round the corner into the kitchen, where the music is actually somewhat muted, I hear Griffin say, “Sophie’s on her way.”

It’s not the words that make me stop. It’s the way he says them. Full of disappointment.

Parker, one of Griffin’s best friends, is pulling two beers out of the refrigerator. Neither one of them notices me just outside the door.

“I thought she was going to her sister’s house or something?” Parker asks.

Griffin’s head hangs. “She was. But not anymore.”

He’s so bummed I’m staying, like I’ve ruined his break. I can hear it in his voice, that horrible feeling — the one where you were so looking forward to something, like you were about to bust out of your skin because you were so happy, only to have it snatched away. That’s how I felt when I thought I wouldn’t be here for the break.

And that’s how he sounds after hearing I will be here.

What is happening?

Griffin starts to turn, and I duck around the corner. Why am I hiding? I should be storming in there, demanding answers. But I’m frozen. I count to five and then slowly look back into the kitchen.

“She’ll be here any minute,” he says, but stays rooted in his spot.

Parker pops open one of the beers and hands it to Griffin. Griffin takes a long drink.

“So what’s the problem?” Parker asks. Obviously he can hear the disappointment, too.

Griffin shrugs. “This is going to make me sound like an asshole, but I was kind of glad she was going to be gone. You know, like a trial run of what it would be like if we broke up.”

My heart is pounding.

“Do you want to break up with her?” Parker asks, then takes another swig of his beer.

Griffin shrugs again. My desire to scream is almost overwhelming.

“I think so.”

I gasp. Parker and Griffin both turn toward the door. Parker’s eyes get big, and he looks from me to Griffin and back to me.

There’s a split second where Griffin tries to figure out if I heard what was said. But the expression on my face makes it obvious that I did.

I stumble back, hitting the wall before fleeing.

I have to get out of here. I can’t look at him. I can’t be here.

“Sophie!” Griffin follows behind me, but I duck and dodge my way toward the door. I’m afraid I won’t make it outside before the tears start to fall. Then Addie sees my face and barrels through the people dancing, pulling me out of the pool house.

“What happened?” she asks once we’re on the other side of the pool.

I crumple to the ground and tell her everything.

“That asshole,” Addie says. She turns, like she’s going to hunt him down.

“Please help me get out of here,” I plead.

She moves back toward me. “Of course. Let’s go.”

Addie helps me off the ground and we pick our way through the landscaping. Tears are streaming down my face now, and I don’t even try to stop them.

My heart is crushed.

More than crushed.

Pulverized.

He wants to break up with me.

“I can’t believe him,” Addie mutters under her breath. “He’s going to break up with you? Whatever. He’s lucky to have you!”

I don’t have the words to answer her. Not sure if I ever will.

Just as we make it to the driveway, we see Griffin. He’s running down the driveway, scanning the street.