Tara Sivec - Worn Me Down

“And you’re absolutely certain you have Stratford in your custody right now?” I question him, hoping that lines weren’t crossed and William somehow wasn’t where he was supposed to be.

“Actually, we couldn’t get a transfer that quickly for him to come back to New York. The department in Bowling Green did all of the questioning and video conferenced me in on it. I’m sorry, Austin, but he lawyered-up and they couldn’t keep him any longer since Gwen never signed the forms.”

The phone almost slips from my hands at Mark’s words and I have to fight to concentrate on the road while he continues talking.

“That guy is the biggest asshole I’ve ever seen. He adamantly denies ever being in Nashville or having any kind of contact with Gwen or Ellie. And I hate to say this, Austin, but the guy has a solid alibi. He decided not to go to the medical conference in Chicago and went to see his parents who live out that way instead. He’s been staying with them for the last week. They verified this with written statements and we also have eyewitness testimony from people who saw him out and about at different restaurants in the Bowling Green area. Even though he’s a pompous jerk, I don’t think he’s your guy that’s been stalking Gwen.”

That makes no sense. It can’t be right. Who the hell else would have done those things to Gwen? She didn’t imagine any of that shit. If it wasn’t Stratford trying to get under her skin, then who the fuck was it? It’s not just a coincidence that Gwen can’t be reached now that he’s no longer in police custody.

“He tried denying ever laying a hand on Gwen throughout their marriage until we threw that file you sent us down on the table in front of him. His face went completely white and I thought for sure he was going to throw up all over the table. His lawyer wouldn’t let him say another word,” Mark finishes.

“Something isn’t right, Mark. Gwen would never be a no-show. How long has it been since they let Stratford go?” I demand.

“I don’t know, maybe a few hours? Stratford’s lawyer told us he’d make sure to escort him immediately back to New York,” Mark explains.

“And you seriously fucking believed him? He’s been out on the loose for the same amount of time that Gwen hasn’t been able to be reached. That’s not a Goddamn coincidence. I’m going to her place now. Call your guy in Nashville and give him a head’s up,” I tell him as I change directions and head to Brady’s apartment.

“This lawyer is a top notch guy. There’s no way he’d let Stratford out of his sight.”

I scoff at Mark as I screech through another intersection. “You said so yourself – money talks and Stratford has a shit ton of it. Who the fuck knows how many people he’s got in his pocket doing his dirty work?”

Mark curses and I hear him shouting orders through the line. “We’re calling Nashville now and the lawyer. Call me as soon as you get to her place,” Mark informs me.

Ending the call, I weave in and out of traffic, hoping that this is all just a misunderstanding and Gwen and Emma are safe at home. Something doesn’t feel right about any of this though and I’m scared to death that they won’t be there. Even though I don’t like the guy, my gut is telling me Dylan doesn’t have anything to do with this. Better to be safe than sorry and needing to cross one last suspect off of my list, I scroll through my phone and find his contact information that I programmed there just in case when he stopped by the office.

“Dylan Callahan,” he answers.

“Callahan, it’s Conrad. Have you talked to Gwen at all today?” I ask him as I pull into Brady’s parking lot and find a spot right in front of the building.

“Yeah, she called earlier and apologized for you, saying you never told her I showed up looking for her. I guess I should have expected that. You looked like you wanted to rip my head off when I told you we had plans to meet while I was in town,” he says with a laugh.

“I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not,” I tell him as I get out of my car and race into the building. “Are you still in town? I think something might have happened to Gwen and I need your help.”

Deciding to skip waiting for the elevator, I take the stairs two at a time.

“Jesus Christ, are you serious? No, I finished the job early and just left this morning, but I’m only a few hours away, I’ll turn around now and head back,” Dylan promises. “I’ll call the chief at the Nashville PD too, he owes me a favor.”

Even though this guy was most likely going to make a move on Gwen when he was in town, something tells me to trust him right now. I have a feeling I’m going to need all the help I can get.

I end the call with Dylan right when I get to Brady’s door. Sticking my key in the lock, the door pops open before I even have a chance to turn the key. Dread overwhelms me as I push the door open and walk inside the apartment. Gwen would never leave her door unlocked, even if she was home.

Before I even have a chance to call her name, something on the floor in the middle of the room catches my eye. Rushing over to it, I bend down and see the ugly glass candy dish Brady had on his coffee table. Picking it up, my heart skips a beat when I see blood caked on the side of it. Even though I want to hurl the dish across the room in fury, I quickly set it back down where it was in case the police can dust it for fingerprints.

Standing up, I take off running through the rest of the apartment, calling for Gwen and Emma as I check each room. I know it’s silly, I know they aren’t here, but I have to do something. I keep having a fleeting thought that I’ll open up a closet door and they’ll both be in there laughing because they pulled a prank on me. It’s the dumbest fucking thought in the world, but I can’t stop hoping it will be true as I fling open the last door and find it empty.

As I run back out into the living room, my boot crunches down on something I must not have noticed when I first got here. Lifting up my foot, I see a broken needle crushed into the carpet and the airport food I had earlier threatens to come up.

No, no, no… this can’t be happening.

I stare in horror at the hypodermic needle broken in half. I feel like I’m living in a nightmare. I thought Gwen and Emma were safe. I left because I was sure they’d be okay and now look what happened? Stratford hurt them; he took them and I’m scared to death I may never see them again so I can tell them what an idiot I was. I should have told Gwen I loved her; I should have told Emma I had no idea how to be her dad, but that I hope she would give me a chance and teach me how. Right now, I would sit in a room filled with a thousand pink Barbies if it meant Emma was sitting next to me and I could hear her laugh.

Hearing the sounds of police sirens outside, I’m thankful that at least Dylan came through with help. We have to find them; they have to be okay. I’ve been on plenty of missions that didn’t go according to plan and lives were lost, but right now, failure is not an option. These girls are my whole life. If anything happens to them, I’ll never forgive myself.

I can’t believe what a fool I’ve been. I let my guard down for the first time in months and now I’m going to pay the ultimate price – the one person in my world that I love more than my own life will be taken from me in the blink of an eye because of my stupidity. I did everything I could to keep Emma safe; I hid, I lied and I worked my fingers to the bone, but it was all for nothing. This precious little being that came screaming into my world six years ago and gave me a reason to breathe every single day since then – I had failed her.

I watch in horror as my baby struggles to breathe through the tears and the thick, silver tape over her mouth. Her muffled whimpers are like a knife straight through my heart and I fight with everything inside of me to get loose from the bindings holding me in place. I scream and cry with a pain I’ve never felt before as I try so hard to get free. The ropes cut into my wrists and ankles as I twist and turn, thrash and fight. I need to go to her, I need to wrap my arms around her and calm her fears, tell her everything will be okay, but I can’t. How does a mother sit tied to a chair on the other side of the room from her child and just watch her suffer? The years of mental and physical abuse, broken bones and shattered spirit are nothing compared to this.

“You just couldn’t leave well enough alone, could you? We were supposed to be a family and you ruined it all.”

A fist connects with my cheek and for a moment, I close my eyes to ward off the pain. I don’t have time to wallow in my own self-pity though. I quickly blink my eyes back into focus and my gaze immediately goes to my little one across the room, staring at me wide-eyed. My pain means nothing right now; the only thing that matters to me is making sure Emma is okay. It’s been just the two of us against the world for months now. I had my brother, and I had Austin, but it’s not the same. Their love doesn’t even hold a candle to the love between a mother and daughter. There’s a piece of my heart living and breathing outside of my body and for six years it’s been the most amazing miracle to watch her grow and change. Now, I realize just how fragile that piece of my heart is; I can’t protect her and I can’t save her. I don’t want her to see how scared I am, but I can do nothing to stop the sobs from escaping.

The fear and sadness I see on my daughter’s beautiful, perfect little face makes my stomach cramp and hurts worse than any blow I’ve ever taken to my body. I’m accustomed to the agony and humiliation of abuse. I’ve learned how to shut down my mind and my heart and pretend like it wasn’t really happening to me, but Emma was never supposed to witness this horror. She was never supposed to know how weak I really am. I did everything I could to shield her from this awfulness – I fled in the middle of the night with nothing but the clothes on our backs, I made a new life for us and I showered my girl with enough love to make up for the missing parent in her life.