Cynthia Cartier - Wings

“There’s nowhere I feel safer, Major Trent.”

“Trust me, when you’re strapped into a big hunk of metal, with metal flying under, over and through you, you don’t feel very safe.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I think combat is… like I thought I could… I was just kidding. Not that I should kid about that, I just…” She wanted to reach in and grab her tongue to make it stop.

“I know, Hall.” Trent laughed softly and looked at her long and hard, moving his eyes over her face, the way he did on the train. “You could do it though, if you wanted to. I have no doubt of that. I’m guessing there’s nothing you can’t do.”

A blush rushed-up from her neck to the top of her head, and she could see from Trent’s smirk that he noticed and enjoyed it. Captain Charles entered the cantina and Trent stepped back from the table. “Well, you have fun, trainee.”

“How could I not?”

He left and sat down with the Captain. The rest of Liddy’s study session was pointless as she tried to reign in her heart and pretend Trent’s presence wasn’t consuming her. Minutes before lights out, she tore herself away. Coolly she gathered her books and left the place, and she had to sprint back to the bays to make it before ten. In the dark, she undressed and slipped into bed. She pulled the covers in tight, closed her eyes and was replaying the evening when she heard a whisper from the next bunk.

“Where ya’ been, Hall?” Louise asked.

“Studying, Parker, I’ll tell you about it tomorrow.”

Liddy had always known when a man was interested in her, until Major Reid Trent. She thought she read an interest from him on the train, then he dropped her and Liddy sensed nothing since then. Tonight it was back, she thought, but Doubt told her she was imagining it. Give it up, said Doubt, even if he was interested, you’re a trainee, so it doesn’t matter anyway. You’re making yourself crazy, all for nothing. She couldn’t keep her thinking still enough to see anything clearly, so she set Major Reid Trent’s face in front of her, listened to his voice and told Doubt to mind his own business and go to sleep.

When Liddy and Louise returned from a walk and talk the next night, their baymates had gossip dripping from their lips and couldn’t wait to share it. “You’re just in time ladies, wait’ll you hear this.” Joy Lynn sat on the bed with her arms wrapped around her knees, wiggling her toes with anticipation. “Tell ‘em, Uptown.”

“No way. I don’t believe it,” Bet said to Marina.

“What, no way?” asked Louise as she flopped back onto her bed and folded her hands behind her head.

Marina stood up and posted herself at the end of the room with her hands on her hips and leaned forward a bit. “There’s a rumor that Jenna Law is engaged to one of the Army Officers.”

Liddy’s chest seized, and a weight rested on her brain that filled it with a hum and rocked her head back. The girls continued with “It can’t be” and “I don’t believe it either” and “She’s gonna get kicked out.” But Liddy could only hear her friends’ muffled voices, and didn’t make out a word they were saying.

Louise had sat up on her elbows and saw the shock in Liddy’s face. “Which one?” Louise asked.

“I don’t know, no one’s saying, but it’s not exactly regulation.” Marina lifted her eyebrows. “Now is it?”

“Guess you can marry them, just not date them.” Bet shrugged her shoulders.

“Doesn’t sound like much fun to me,” said Joy Lynn.

“What do you think, Liddy Lou, how do you go about getting a proposal from a man you haven’t dated?” Bet looked at Liddy and waited for an answer. “Liddy.”

“Huh.” When Liddy looked up, Bet saw a far-off look in her eyes.

“You okay?” Bet asked her.

“Yeah, fine.” Liddy pulled her night clothes from her locker and undressed.

“And she was jumpin’ on your onion about following orders and regulations,” griped Joy Lynn.

“Might be called a ‘crock-a-coon crap’ in your neck of the woods, huh, Joy Lynn?” Bet asked.

“Why, Miss Bailey, that there’s disgustin’ talk. Miss George, your ears, are they okay, dahlin’?” Joy Lynn needled her friend and Marina stuck her tongue out at her.

“Hey, after graduation it’s open season, right? WASP date who they want?” asked Bet.

“Yes indeedy, Red. Well, with the exception of enlisted beef. We’ll be ranked as officers, although not Army officers or civilians, ranked somewhere in no-man’s land until we’re commissioned. Regardless, we’ll be some kind of officer, and the Army doesn’t like its own socializing below their rank…” Joy Lynn rolled her eyes. “… but all the officers and civilian men we want. And I’m gonna find me a man out west, or north of the Mason Dixon Line, way north,” Joy Lynn declared.

“We’ll be women again—Oh, happy day!” Marina twirled around the room.

“So Liddy, doesn’t it just chew you up?” prodded Joy Lynn.

Liddy ignored the question as she pulled on her night dress and twisted her hair into a pony tail. “Big day tomorrow. I’m turning in.”

Bet grimaced, she didn’t want to be reminded. “Solos.”

“Now that’ll be a great date, just me and the open blue—no chaperone,” said Joy Lynn.

Liddy grabbed her toiletry bag from her locker and walked into the bathroom. She looked at Louise as she passed, and her sister-friend saw a sad emptiness in her face. At the sink, Liddy turned on the water full blast and let it splash every which way. And when she scooped some water up to her face, she tossed it with such abandon that it dripped off her hair and her nightgown. She felt the need to be completely wet, so she whipped off her gown and underpants and let everything fall to the floor at the sink and turned on the shower. She stood under the spray and rotated slowly several times. Rumors—usually false? Usually true? Engaged?

Liddy knew that forbidden relationships blossomed on the base. There were looks between instructors or military men and trainees, everyone saw them. And not long after Calli went home, one of the gals from the senior class left for the same reason, but she wasn’t married and left quietly. No baby shower. And not long after that, Instructor Carl Paxton’s name disappeared from the flight boards and trainees were reassigned to new instructors, and there were rumors. But Major Reid Trent and Jenna Law—Maybe—Probably.

Rumors—Liddy didn’t like that word. She never thought about it before, but she didn’t like it at all. What are you supposed to do with a rumor? They should be completely ignored, but that never happened. They make a place for themselves in the room of possible truths and just lounge around, snickering and daring you to figure them out. What nasty little things—Rumors.

Liddy let the water run on her face, until she couldn’t breathe, and held there until she gasped for air. She did that several times and then thought, That’s enough of that and turned off the water. She didn’t dry off with a towel, she just slipped into her nightgown and let the cotton soak up the wetness and plaster itself onto her skin like transparent wallpaper. She tossed her underpants in her locker and went to bed.

The next morning, Liddy made her way through the chow line and was walking across the mess to join her friends at a table. Jenna Law was clearing her tray when she spotted Liddy and trotted to catch up with her. “Hey, Hall,” Liddy kept walking. “Hey, I’m sorry about Calli. She was a good pilot.”

“There goes your graduation rate.”

“Let up, Hall. This isn’t a competition.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Hey, look, I’m sorry we got off on the wrong foot. My fault I guess. I’d like to—”

Just then, a distressed trainee burst into the cafeteria and ignited the spread of some news. With ever-increasing momentum the tension in the room billowed, until everyone rushed out the door.

One of trainees and her instructor had gone down and been killed. Trainees, instructors and staff had gathered at the flight line, and a tearful commotion was brewing. Although the WASP program had one of the best safety records in the Army, military pilots were killed on and off the battle field, and WASPs were no exception. At least one woman a month was killed in training or while out flying their command, but this was the first one that was killed on the base since Liddy’s class had arrived. Liddy and Louise tried to keep Bet and Marina calm, while they waited for news.

Joy Lynn parted her way through the crowd. “It was Ruby. They don’t know why, but she spun in on the other side of the auxiliary field.” Joy Lynn gulped to catch her breath. “Today’s training, including solos, are still happening.”

Bet and Marina both sobbed, and a deep pain filled Liddy’s chest. Bet looked desperately up at her as she wiped her face and nose with the side of her hand. Liddy set her face in front of Bet’s. “Listen, what happened, it’s terrible, but it happened and there’s nothing…” Liddy swallowed hard and a lump caught in her throat. “… nothing’s gonna change it. We’re soloing today, let’s grease it.”

Liddy had known a lot of pilots in her life, but Ruby was the first one she knew who was killed in a plane. It took every bit of Liddy’s strength to keep her emotions in check.

Major Trent walked onto the line with Captain Charles and some of the senior class, including Jenna Law. One of her friends had been killed and still, jealousy found a place in Liddy. What is wrong with me? She asked herself. She left the others and walked away. Bet followed and jogged to catch up with her.

“I can’t solo today, Liddy. I just can’t.”