I moved closer to the wall of the landing and tried not to hyperventilate.

“Careful,” Brock snarled.

“Careful?” Levi asked. “Not even for your own fuckin’ wife, and I will give it to you, I wouldn’t do shit for that bitch either, but not for your own fuckin’ boys did you leave that job but Tessa O’Hara with her haunted eyes walks into your life and what do you do?” A pause then, “No, your answer will be bullshit so don’t even say it because I know because you told Laurie and Laurie told me that you knew before you even approached her to see if she’d accept you back in her life that you looked for a way out of the DEA so you could concentrate on her and give her what you didn’t give Olivia and you couldn’t give Bree seein’ as the bitch essentially killed herself and took her time doin’ it.”

My heart started thumping and me legs started trembling.

Levi kept talking. “And not only that, you lived in your goddamned place since Olivia took your ass to the cleaners but all of a sudden,” another pause where I visualized him throwing out an arm, “here you are in a sweet condo that sweet Tessa of Tessa’s Cakes would find more agreeable. So now you’re a homicide detective with a middleclass condo and five months ago you were an agent for the DEA with a death wish but at least you had a fuckin’

mission and all that is for her. Fuck, I’m lookin’ at my brother in his fuckin’ kitchen with new fuckin’ dishtowels and I don’t even know who the fuck he is because he’s losin’ all that he is, again, for another, lost, haunted soul with a great pair of tits.”

And that was when I moved because it came over me. I didn’t know what it was because I’d never felt it before, nothing like it. But it was there and I had no control of my actions.

I just moved.

And I did it quickly.

So I forged through the abrasive atmosphere of the Lucas brothers’ mood and in the middle of Brock growling something low in response, I ran down the stairs, took three long strides and then ran up the steps to the kitchen.

Brock’s eyes came to me, his mouth snapped shut and Levi turned in the direction of his brother’s stare.

I ignored Levi and launched right in.

“I don’t believe you,” I hissed at Brock.

“Tess –”


I shook my head and made it to him, planting both hands in his chest, I gave him a shove; he went back on a foot, his head jerking in surprise as his hands came up and clamped on my wrists.

I got close and went up on my toes to get in his face and snap, “I told you I didn’t want you to change for me.”

His face went soft and he whispered, “Baby –”

“No,” I shook my head again, tried to yank my wrists out of his hold, failed and gave up.

“I don’t need you to be anything but what you are. Hell, when I fell in love with you I didn’t even know your…” I got closer to his face, “Fucking…” I got even closer, “Name. ”

He let my wrists go but only for his arms to fix around me, I pulled at them but he held tight, murmuring, “Tess, darlin’ –”

“Unh-unh, no way, Brock. I don’t need a nice apartment where I don’t take my life in my hands walking up the rusty, rickety staircase to get to it. Don’t you see? I’d walk through fire if you were what I was walking to.”

“Fucking hell,” Levi breathed and I watched Brock do a slow blink but I was in another zone, totally in pissed off la-la land and there was no going back.

“If you had a dangerous job that took you away from me, it would suck and I’ll admit, I would hate it because I had three months without you and that was enough. But if it meant something to you, I’d suck it up, I’d deal, because I’d know you were doing something you believed in and you’d eventually come back to me so that would be enough for me.”

His arms separated, grew tighter, gathering me closer, his eyes so warm they were liquid mercury and he whispered, “Baby –”

“You can be Brock, you can be Jake, you could call yourself Errol fucking Flynn and I wouldn’t care because, bottom line, you’d be the man for me. I know from knowing a bad one, the worst, I know a good man when I see him and it’s important to me to let him be just who he is, not what he thinks I want him to be.”

“Tess –”

“No, I –”

“Tess –” he growled.

“No, I’m not done –”

“Tess,” he clipped, one arm leaving me so his hand could cover my mouth and his face got in mine, “Shut it. ”

I glared at him.

He held my glare and stared at me.

Then his eyes started dancing and he asked, “Errol fucking Flynn?”

“This is not fucking funny,” I said against his hand so it came out garbled and he burst out laughing, his hand leaving my mouth to become an arm wrapped tight around me again and he shoved his laughing face in my neck.

“I’m not finding anything funny, Brock,” I told the wall behind him as my hands slid up and put pressure on his shoulders (to no avail).

He lifted his head still chuckling and gave me a squeeze.

Then he asked, “Can you shut up for two minutes so I can talk?”

“Yes, but I’ll give you that answer with the warning that you better not say anything that pisses me off or I’m cancelling Christmas.”

His body started rocking and his eyes were still dancing but he wisely didn’t verbalize his still obvious hilarity.

“Right,” he muttered but it came out sounding choked.

“You have two minutes,” I prompted him.

He grinned at me, repeated a muttered, “Right.” Then said, “All right, baby, no games, no bullshit, no lies, you called the scene and I’ve been playin’ by your rules. I told you, shit got hot for me with what I did at the DEA and I was facin’ a desk. I didn’t lie. What I didn’t tell you is that I had an option. They were thinkin’ of transferring me to LA.”

My body grew tight at these words and his arms grew tight with it.

“Now, I got family in Denver, I got kids in Denver and, yes, you are in Denver and my boys are gettin’ older, shit is not right there so I had a decision to make. Bail on all that, leavin’ my boys, and yeah, you behind or takin’ a job with the DPD, doin’ something that has less of an opportunity for my dead body to be found in an alley or stay here, take care of my sons and explore things with you. No lie, you know you meant something to me when I was going over my options so you were part of that decision. But I didn’t do it to change into what I thought you would want. I did it because it was time.”

Oh, well then.

“Oh, well then,” I whispered and he grinned again.

Then he said, “I got that apartment because Olivia worked part-time as a medical receptionist when we were married, she wasn’t very good at it and doesn’t have any other skills except whatever she did to get her bulldog attorney to wring me dry. I didn’t fight that too hard because kids get caught up in that shit and I didn’t want my boys in the middle of a dirty war between their parents. I also didn’t fight because, bottom line, she needed the money to take care of my sons. I lived in a shithole so they wouldn’t. I got on my feet since and two years ago she got herself a man where the extra she asked for and I gave her, I stopped givin’ her. But I had no time or need to move outta that apartment, in fact, livin’

there solidified the cover I was under at the same time it allowed me to set aside a whack. Not havin’ that job or crippled by Olivia, I didn’t need to live there anymore. It isn’t a great place for me to take my woman, for my boys to stay in but, honest to God, babe, I didn’t like it either. I got my shot, I moved out. End of story.”

Hmm.

Maybe I overreacted.

I didn’t share this. I just held his eyes.

His arms gave me another squeeze and his lips twitched.

He knew I knew I overreacted.

Crap.

Then he asked, “Now, I was gonna suggest tomorrow that you go with me and the boys to look at new trucks. My heat doesn’t work, the tires need changing, winter’s almost here and any money spent on that truck is the same as burnin’ it. So are you gonna have a shit hemorrhage if I buy a new truck?”

“I didn’t have a shit hemorrhage,” I denied.

His face dipped to mine. “Baby, you flew up here, put your hands on me and lost your mind. I had to put my hand over your mouth to shut you up. If that isn’t a shit hemorrhage, I don’t know what is.”

Oh man. I did that. I shoved him.

Not good.

“I…” I swallowed. “That wasn’t cool, Brock. I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t have shoved you.”

His body started rocking again and he shook his head like he didn’t know what to do with me but, luckily, he was shaking it like he thought I was so damned cute, he didn’t know what he was going to do with me.

“Darlin’,” he said low, “I love that body of yours, all soft, all curves, no way you could take me, even in the middle of one helluva shit hemorrhage and you know it. You didn’t do that to hurt me because you know you can’t. You did it because you were pissed and wanted my attention. There’s a difference.”

“It still wasn’t good,” I whispered.


“You make a habit of it, I agree. You do that often?”

I thought about it. Then I said, “Uh… not to my recollection.”

He burst out laughing again.

I glared at him still not finding anything funny.

“Uh… hello,” Levi called, my body grew tight and Brock stopped laughing and his eyes went over my shoulder.

Damn. I totally forgot about Levi.

All humor was void in his tone when Brock announced, “You and me got problems, brother.”