Amanda Grange - Wickham’s Diary

I went quietly over to Anne, without drawing attention to myself. I asked her about her journey and made a few remarks on the weather, then I pulled the screen forward to protect her from draughts—and to hide myself from other eyes: if they had noticed me they might have expected me to leave. I made myself agreeable to her, and she soon began to smile and then to laugh. She is really not so plain when she laughs. I found her easy company, expecting nothing, but taking a shy pleasure in my company and in my compliments. Poor girl! I think she has little enough attention from anyone else, unless it is to fuss over her health. I think I could do her good if I were her husband. I would amuse her and entertain her and make her happy, and in return I would have the position I deserve. I think I should like being married to Anne.

Mama was right; Lady Catherine does not consider me a threat and she smiles on my attentions to her daughter, seeing them as Miss Anne de Bourgh's due. I overheard her remarking to Mr Darcy that I had excellent manners and saying that I would make a good courtier.

I wonder... George Wickham, courtier. George Wickham. knight.

If I was a knight I would be Sir George Wickham... Sir George Wickham of Rosings.

Yes. I like that very well.

Another wet day. After we had finished our lessons, Fitzwilliam and I were called into the drawing-room to entertain Anne. Fitzwilliam made a few cursory remarks and then fell silent, being in a restless mood. I could tell that he was longing to be out of doors, for he does not like to be confined, and wet days are a hardship for him. His restlessness made him more brusque than usual and, when Anne ventured to say that it looked as though it would rain all day, he was curt with her. She was downcast, but I soon lifted her spirits by saying that we must have some exercise and that, even though it was raining, we could dance. Her mother overheard me and said that it was a good idea, for Anne was an accomplished dancer. She then instructed Anne's companion to play the piano. I made Anne a courtly bow and asked her for the honour. She blushed, but she took my hand readily enough and I led her out into the middle of the room. I took care not to dance too well, for I know that Lady Catherine likes rank to be preserved and I did not want to outshine her daughter. But I danced well enough to show Anne to advantage, covering for her small mistakes. Anne herself enjoyed dancing with me. Her face was flushed, and she looked sorry when the dance was over.

Lady Catherine then said that Fitzwilliam should dance with Anne. Poor Anne! Her face fell, and she watched him walking towards her with trepidation.

Fitzwilliam was scarcely any more pleased, for he is not used to falling in with the wishes of others, but he could not refuse. He took her hand reluctantly and danced well, but I believe that Anne enjoyed dancing with me more.

Lady Catherine was so well pleased with the afternoon that she suggested the Darcys hold a party 'for the young people' and that after a light meal there should be dancing.

'It is time for Anne and Fitzwilliam to learn how to go on in public,' she said. Then, addressing Fitzwilliam, she said, 'You bear a great name, Fitzwilliam, and you must not disgrace it.'

The party was agreed upon, and when I returned home I told Mama all about it.

She clapped her hands in glee and said, 'Excellent, George! This is just the kind of opportunity you need. You will have a chance to meet all the neighbouring heiresses and to impress them with your charm and good manners. Any friendships started now may well be continued, if circumstances are favourable, when you are of marriageable age. You will be able to bring yourself to their notice if you should meet them out in the world, for you will be acquainted. You can give them news of the Darcys and, the conversation being thus begun, you will know how to continue it. This party could be the start of great things for you. Now, we must look through your clothes and decide what you are going to wear.'

I arrived at Pemberley in good time for the party and I had the good fortune to pick up a handkerchief that a girl had dropped, later to discover that she was a Miss Layson and that she would have ten thousand pounds when she came of age.

I spoke to her again when I met her in the drawing-room. and she was friendly towards me. I bowed and moved on. and I was just congratulating myself on making such a useful acquaintance when I heard her friend sniggering behind my back. I could not hear what she said, but the words, 'only invited because they were a boy short' reached my ears. Mama had warned me that I would hear this kind of thing and that I must not mind it and so I took no notice, but set out to please each and every one of the girls present.

I did not neglect Anne, either, and I danced three times with her. She knew the first dance well enough but in the other two she was forever going wrong. Unlike the other boys I did not shout at her, I set her right kindly. At the end of the dance I told her that she danced well, for superior dancing consisted not only of performing the right steps but of dancing with elegance and grace. She smiled up at me shyly and I thought of the day when she and I would be opening the dancing at Rosings together as Mr and Mrs Wickham. This thought brought a smile to my face. But as I led her back to her mama I heard a snigger of 'steward's son' coming form the girl who had laughed at me earlier. I was for a moment perturbed, but Anne squeezed my hand and said, 'Ignore her, George. Melissa Harbridge has always been mean, and anyway she has no right to say such things, because her grandfather was only a blacksmith.'

I thought then that Melissa had done me a service, for she had won Anne's sympathy for me. I continued to make myself agreeable to everyone at the party and I went home well pleased.

Mama was eager to hear all about it. At the end of my recital, she said, 'Well done, George. We will have you at Rosings, just you see!'

The de Bourghs left this morning. I managed to see Anne before she departed, for I knew she would be taking a walk through the rose garden. I pretended that I had met her there by accident and. as I walked along beside her, I told her how much I had enjoyed her visit and that I hoped to see her again before very long. She said that her mama had no plans to visit Pemberley again for the time being, and that the Darcys would visit Rosings next.

I asked her about Rosings, saying, 'Is it as big as Pemberley?' to which she replied, 'Oh, yes, it is just as big and just as fine. The gardens are better, for Papa liked flowers and so they are always very colourful. The Rosings park is also, I think, more beautiful.'

'Shall you like to inherit it, or will it be a burden to you?' I said.

'I shall like it, I think. It means I will never have to leave, not even when I marry and I do not think it will be difficult to care for because I will have a husband to help me look after it.'

'Then let us hope he knows how to care for an estate,' I said, thinking that the fact of my father's stewardship might be of some advantage to me after all.

'I think he will,' she replied.

And I wondered, Is she thinking of me?

She smiled at me and I smiled in return.

Perhaps she was making no more than a general remark, but even so, as I stood at the corner of the drive this afternoon and waved to her as she passed by in her carriage, I felt I had made the most of my opportunity, and when she waved back I went inside feeling well pleased.

Papa took me round the estate with him this morning and I paid attention to everything he said. I took a new interest in it. I might need to know how to run an estate, not as a steward, but as a landowner. Even if I do not marry Anne, I will surely marry an heiress, and one day I will have my own estate to care for.

Lady Anne's brother and his family have arrived. Mama was very excited when they arrived, for Lady Anne's brother is an earl and his coat of arms was emblazoned on the side of the coach. His footmen wore livery and so did the coachman. The whole procession made a splendid sight.

'Henry is about your age.' she said to me as she turned away from the window. 'I want you to make friends with him if you can. George. He is interested in soldiering and he intends to go into the army. If you pretend an interest in the army, too. then perhaps he will invite you to stay when the Darcys go to visit him and his family.'

I pulled a face at this, for I have no interest in the army, and I knew it would be difficult to find something to say to a boy who was determined to become a soldier, but I promised to try.

I went down to the river, knowing that Fitzwilliam intended to take his cousin there, and I was soon one of the party. There were some other boys there, too, and I made the most of the opportunity. I worked my way round next to Henry and introduced the subject of the army, but as it soon became apparent that I knew nothing about the life of a soldier, I thought it would be better not to pretend any longer, so instead I was honest and said that the life would not suit me. Not willing to waste an opportunity, however, I said that I would prefer to go into the church. He did not seem to be interested, and he did not say anything about his family's livings, as I had hoped he might, but there must be some, and when the time comes, perhaps my words might bear fruit.