Dakota and Kai were easily two of the most striking people I’d ever laid eyes on. A mix of Dutch from their mother’s side and Native American from their father’s side, they’d been blessed with shiny hair that resembled silky strands of onyx.

They also had the same elusive indigo eyes as their mother, who had sandy-brown hair and fair skin. Next to Mr. Nakos, with his deep brown eyes, hair, and skin, she and her husband made an attractive couple. But the blend of their looks together, in their children, was breathtaking. Mrs. Nakos liked to joke that her children were mutts, but most would agree that the family looked more like well-bred aristocrats ruling the most exquisite, exclusive island.

At least Dakota did. Kai looked more like some flashy rock star, given his piercings and shoulder-length hair.

Kai’s family had owned several successful businesses over the years, including the casino a few miles up the road from where we grew up. A part of me wondered if Kai had returned from Amsterdam to join his father’s ventures, but I instantly batted the idea down. Kai wanted nothing to do with the family business. But Dakota indicated that he’d gotten himself in some trouble and lost his internship with a recording studio. Their mother’s Dutch cousin had all but kicked him out after that.

Kai had always been kind of a loose cannon—a lost soul. He’d been in his share of bands, played several instruments, and had a reputation as a bad boy around town. And beautiful bad boys always got the girls. There’d been no shortage for him in that department.

But he was also a walking contradiction. His true passion was jazz music, though he’d never admit it out loud. He’d lug around his upright bass in a beat-up hard-shell case that looked as if it’d been on tour with a rock band. And maybe it had—at least for that one summer when he’d traveled with a swing band and afterward hooked up with a local celebrity metal group, in which he’d primarily played the keyboard. That boy was mad talented.

“Looks like nothing’s changed, right?” Dakota said.

Kai stood near the bonfire surrounded by a few girls who no doubt wanted his undivided attention, just like old times. He had on a pair of black skinny jeans that nobody had any business wearing, with some stud and hoop earrings dangling from his ears. His shoulder-length, glossy black hair was pulled away from his face in a low ponytail. And he wore two shirts, gray on top of white, thick enough to hide his nipple piercings, but every female in the general vicinity knew that if luck were on her side, she’d be able to find them.

“That’s my boy,” Shane said, laughing. Being Kai’s best friend had its advantages when it came to the female population, but Shane had always been the more serious one when it came to relationships. He usually had a girlfriend, but his relationships never lasted for too long, and in between, he’d pine over Dakota. Or maybe even during.

When Kai’s eyes latched onto mine from across the yard, I felt that familiar pull toward him. It was as if he and I were parallel in this one singular moment. Both fish out of water, having abandoned our homes—only to return, eager to find our way.

Hoping to make it work.

And damn, as Kai pushed his calloused fingers through the stray pieces of hair that fell from his makeshift elastic tie, I remembered what a beautiful soul he was. He’d always had his looks going for him, sure. But tonight, with the glow of the embers slanting across his bronzed cheekbones, he seemed even more gorgeous. And there was something in his stance—the way he toed the dirt, fists clenched at his sides that made him seem vulnerable. Exposed. More open than I’d ever witnessed before.

The vision of him knocked the breath straight from out of my lungs.

But then he ruined that perfect image by taking a long drag of the joint in his hand. I hated when he smoked. Still, I couldn’t help but notice how his full lips curved over the top of the blunt.

What in the hell was wrong with me?

I’d grown up with Kai and was practically a member of his family. And he knew nearly everything about me—up until three years ago.

Dakota said he’d been smoking way too much weed, and it had nothing to do with it being legal in Amsterdam. I knew the only thing Kai ever wanted to do with his life was play music in some way, shape, or form. So when he decided to study music theory in Amsterdam, I was actually impressed. Until I found out that he’d been hanging with a new crowd, was close to doing something bordering on illegal, and Mr. Nakos had encouraged him to get the hell out of the country.

I shook my head—Kai was always in some kind of trouble.

Some dude pulled in way too fast on a red Yamaha motorcycle. “Don’t crash, you idiot,” Mile’s old teammate yelled as the bike skidded in the grass. Too many eyes darted in my direction, and there was nervous tittering from some of the girls. Nope, being home was not awkward in the least bit.

“I’m getting another drink,” I said, jumping down from the truck. “Want anything?”

“No, I’m good,” Dakota said. She and Shane had gotten involved in a conversation with some former classmates who’d just arrived at the party.

I headed toward the cooler for another beer. As I passed by the bonfire, I heard Kai’s low and smooth voice telling his admirers how the red-light district wasn’t as it appeared in movies.

“Let’s drill Rachel about what the big city’s been like.” I felt strong fingers grip my hand, and then I was yanked into the hard wall of Kai’s chest.

“Sound good, Turtle?” he whispered, and I playfully elbowed him in the ribs. It’d been his nickname for me since middle school cross-country. I was one of the slowest on the team in my forest-green uniform, and he’d gotten a kick out of his joke. When I’d tell him where to stick it, he’d only change it to a turtle name like Shelly or Myrtle just to piss me off.

Kai’s arm immediately curled around my neck in a kind of headlock, like the three years had never passed between us. He’d made this same obnoxious move countless times in high school and I’d clamber to get away from him, because it always made me feel like a kid in front of his metal-head friends. And, more important, in front of him.

But this time felt different—he was all warm skin over hard muscles, and his arm had sprouted biceps I’d never felt before. Instead of trying to get away, I grew motionless as the enormity of my own smutty thoughts crashed down on me—thoughts about this boy who was now a man, who just happened to be my best friend’s brother.

Apparently, nostalgia was a bitch, too. I didn’t know what in the hell had come over me.

“Are you going for your CPA, Rachel?” Julia, one of my old high school friends, asked. I could muster only a nod, but that was enough of an opening as she went off on a tangent about how hard her own business classes had been at her university.

I remained hyperaware of the fact that my body was aligned with Kai’s, that my ass was right up against his crotch, and how it seemed so damn wrong to even think about the nice package he had going on behind me.

Kai would never know that I included him on the short list of guys who’d left me. Right there with Miles and my dad. When Dakota was considering her college options, I’d decided that, despite her impossible standards of perfection, I wouldn’t let her leave me, too. So I was the one who chose a college far enough away that I wouldn’t return to visit very often. I wouldn’t return at all. Until now.

Now Kai ran his thumb through the back of my waves like he used to do right before he’d fuck up my hair—usually after it had been carefully flat-ironed and sprayed. He’d always irritated the hell out of me.

I’d finally finished growing out my locks this past spring—my hair had remained short for too long after surgery and had been an almost-constant reminder to me that I had cheated death.

But this time I didn’t care if he messed up my hair or not. Having his strong arm around me made me feel protected. Safe. Like I was home.

I shivered as the edge of his nail skimmed my scalp in slow and lazy circles. Until it traced along the very edge of my scar. His fingers stilled and his grip on me tightened, as if to say, I know you.

It felt way too damn intimate, so I pushed on his forearm and broke free of his hold, scooting far away. But not before turning back and shooting him a scathing look.

But my cutting gaze didn’t faze him. He chewed on his bottom lip and stared at me with a questioning gaze.

Who have you become, Rachel?

Wouldn’t he like to know.

Chapter Two Kai

As I watched Rachel walk away from me, I realized she was all grown up. And she was different.

Not only physically. Yeah, her rich brown hair had grown below her shoulders and it softened her carved cheekbones and strong jawline. But there was a sharpness in her eyes that I’d never witnessed before—not even during the months after Miles left her or while she’d worked her ass off during physical therapy exercises, determined to use her limbs again.

This was a different kind of fire. Harsh. Resolute. Unwavering. One that told me she’d drawn a line and anyone who crossed it might get burned. The severity in her eyes was like a road hazard, warning someone not to get too close. Not even me. Not even the boy she’d grown up with and told practically everything.

Sure, we hadn’t seen each other in three years, and it had taken me a long while to stop thinking about her every minute of every day. To stop hoping she was still healthy, and to prevent my fingers from dialing her cell too often. Instead, I got updates from Dakota or my cousin Nate, on my mother’s side. I only ever saw him at holiday time but I knew he also attended TSU. Hung in the same circle of friends, even.