Hunter groaned, nodding weakly.
I backed away, shaking, trying to catch my breath and make sense of what Darryn had done.
Indy came over and reached to wrap me in her arms.
I shook her off. “I need some air . . . just . . . I’m fine.”
Reluctantly she nodded, then released me. “I’ll be right here if you need me.”
I ran outside. Rain poured from above. Freezing cold water drenched my hair and face, soaked through my T-shirt. Overcome, I dropped to my knees, weeping as I bent toward the loose-pebbled ground of the parking lot. Chills rolled through my body, and my teeth chattered.
The door flew open, and Darryn came running out. He skidded to a stop when he saw me on the ground, the anger on his face transforming with remorse and sorrow.
The rain continued to spill from the sky, dousing his hair and soaking into his clothes. Long chunks of his light bangs clung to his forehead, all of his questions sweeping across his face as he watched me with caution.
My boy-man-god. My avenging angel. All that skin wet and glistening under the streetlamps that glinted in the driving rain.
I gasped when he seemed to win whatever war was raging inside him, and he jogged to me and scooped me into his arms. He hoisted me high up and hugged me to his chest. “I’ve got you.”
He began to walk away from the bar, his feet urgent as he carried me without looking back. Behind us, every sound bled away into nothing until all I could hear was the erratic beat of Darryn’s heart where my ear rested against his chest.
He leaned down and tenderly brushed his lips across my forehead. “I love you,” he murmured, never stopping his stride. “Not gonna let him hurt you. Not ever again, Misha. Not ever again.”
His steps never faltered as he carried me toward our neighborhood. He started to turn up the walkway to my house, and I clutched his shirt. “Take me to your house . . . to your room.”
He hesitated, looking between me and the window on the second floor of his house, weighing what was right, maybe weighing if I was thinking clearly or not.
“Please . . . just . . . I need to go there. To face what Hunter did to me there.”
Slowly he nodded in understanding. “Okay.”
He hefted me a little more securely into his arms and quickly made his way into his house. Inside, everything was quiet and dark. He carried me up the stairs, cautious as he twisted his bedroom doorknob without ever letting me go. The door slowly swung open to the room where I’d allowed Hunter to take advantage of me.
But had it ever really been my fault? Was trust such a bad thing?
My pulse was all thready and harsh, clattering around in my rib cage as my spirit came to the realization.
Because I wanted to be that girl, the one who trusted with everything she had and loved with every piece of her spirit.
I didn’t want to be scared or hard or filled with hatred. I didn’t want to miss out on what this world had to offer because there were some in it who would rather hurt than cling to the good.
And as Darryn stood there with me in his arms in his doorway, I knew that was exactly what I was doing, my hands in fists in his shirt and my face buried in the perfect warmth of his chest.
I was clinging to the good.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
Darryn carried me in and set me on his bed. He climbed down to his knees, all of his movements watchful and slow, assuring me I didn’t have to be afraid.
No longer would I allow myself to be.
“Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.”
I nodded but made no move to help him as he took charge, unlaced my soaked boots, and pulled them from my feet. He dropped them to the floor, turned to peel off my socks and my jeans. His smile was both timid and reassuring when he glanced up at me. Gently he gathered the hem of my shirt, his eyes filled with devotion as he slowly removed it. Leaving me in my panties and bra, he pulled a fresh T-shirt from his drawer. He said nothing as he settled it over my body.
It swallowed me, it was so big, but I knew it fit perfectly. The way Darryn perfectly fit me.
He shed his own clothes, down to his underwear, then lifted the blankets. “Climb under,” he whispered.
I slipped in, and I felt my entire body sigh in relief when he got in beside me and pulled me into his arms.
He brushed his fingers through my hair, his mouth pressed to the top of my head as he murmured quietly, “Please forgive me, Misha . . . for lying to you the first day I met you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” His lips moved slowly as he brought them to my ear. “I love you . . . I meant it when I told you the other day. I fell in love with this sweet, shy, beautiful girl . . . She’s the same one who was in that video . . . one who trusts and loves and sees the world unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are.”
And I let go, sobbing in his arms, let it all out, because he knew—and he still loved me. I cried because I’d spent so much time hating the girl I was instead of embracing her. Instead of finding someone who accepted her.
I guess I needed to accept myself first.
He leaned forward, his touch tender as he wiped all my tears away.
Pulling back, I stared up at him. “I love you, Darryn. So much. I should have told you, too, but I was so scared you wouldn’t want me anymore once you found out.”
“Not possible,” he said, kissing me tenderly. “Not for a second. Not for a day.”
He pulled me impossibly closer, my entire body tucked against the warmth of his and my head pressed to the strong, even beat of his heart. “Sleep, sweet girl. I’m here. And I’m never going to let you go.”
chapter fourteen
Misha
I tied a towel under my arms and studied myself in the foggy mirror as I pulled a brush through my thick, curly hair. It was so strange looking at myself so differently, finally seeing myself for who I was rather than the person I thought I’d wanted to be.
Naive.
Maybe I was. Maybe I would always be.
But through my experiences I knew I could no longer count myself a fool. Now I knew it was okay to be looking at things through trusting eyes, although I’d just be looking a little closer. Examining intentions without losing the heart of who I was.
Who I knew I really wanted to be.
I cast myself a soft smile, before I unlocked the bathroom door and padded out to Darryn’s closed one. I’d spent the last two days here, pretty much in his bed with his arms around me. All day yesterday we’d just talked and watched movies, a strong sense of calm and belonging filling me up with every second I spent with him.
Oh yeah.
And kissing.
A whole lot of it, too. We’d given ourselves over to relearning each other with the walls we’d put up to protect our secrets crumbled to the ground. No longer were there barriers between us, and it just felt good to bask in the entirety of his presence, complete and without pretenses or truths concealed. I’d just relished all that golden light that reflected something both dangerous and perfect in Darryn. My protector. My gorgeous avenging angel.
My boy-man-god who stole my breath.
My heart.
I twisted the knob and his door swung open. Darryn sat on the edge of his bed, wearing only his underwear, his hair still damp from his own shower. His chest flexed with strength, and his lips turned up at the edges, the softest of smiles taking him over as he caught me standing in his doorway taking him in.
Who could blame me?
Darryn chased a wave of redness from where his perusal began, at my bare legs, as his eyes caressed every inch of my skin. My thighs shook when he stared at them a beat longer than the rest. I could feel the heat of my blush, heading north just ahead of his stare, as if my body were preparing itself for the desperate need that would grow in me as Darryn’s gaze caressed up my skin. Finally he brought those hazel eyes all the way to my face.
“Can’t believe my fantasy is standing right there at my door.”
I shook with his honesty, with his blatant desire as he greedily looked at me.
I edged forward, and with each step I took, Darryn lifted his face a little more, tilting his head back as I came to stand between his legs. All those little darts of energy flew, fired, and fed the frenzy that was steadily building between us.
For two nights I’d slept in his bed with all those pesky layers of clothing still firmly set in place.
Darryn reached up and cupped my face. “My fantasy because I never thought I’d get the chance to love someone like you . . . my heart because I’d never thought I’d find someone I was ready to love.” A soft smile pulled at one side of his mouth, and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. “But you . . . you’ve become everything.”
He brushed his thumb across my bottom lip, and my tongue flitted out, just teasing his fingertip as it made a gentle pass. “Misha,” he whispered hoarsely.
I opened my mouth and sucked his thumb into my mouth.
“Shit,” he hissed, his jaw clenching as I pulled his thumb deeper inside my mouth, as I sucked and kissed. “What are you doing?” He choked over the question.
I couldn’t stop my gaze from slipping down over his wide shoulders to his taut stomach, finally drawn to find his erection that was straining at the thin material of his underwear.
My stomach tightened, and all those butterflies flapped and flew. A tumble of nerves tripped through every inch of my body as all of this pent-up desire broke free and beat frantically through my veins.
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