And there was no chance they were going to, either. Because the minute I walked in the door, around nine or so—I made Rob drop me off way down the street, so my folks wouldn't hear his bike—I saw that they hadn't even noticed I was gone. I had called, of course, from Chick's, and said band rehearsal was running long, but nobody had picked up. When I walked in, I saw why. My mom and dad were having a huge fight. Over Douglas. As usual.

"He's not ready!" my mom was screaming.

"The longer he waits," my dad said, "the harder it's going to be for him. He's got to start now."

"Do you want him to try it again?" my mom wanted to know. "Is that what you want, Joe?"

"Of course not," my dad said. "But it's different now. He's on the medication. Look, Toni, I think it would be good for him. He needs to get out of the house. All he does is lie up there, reading comic books."

"And you think slaving away in a hot restaurant kitchen is the cure for that?" My mom sounded very sarcastic.

"He needs to get out," my dad said. "And he needs to start earning his keep."

"He's sick!" my mom insisted.

"He's always going to be sick, Toni," my dad said. "But at least he's being treated now. And the treatments are working. The doctors said as long as he was taking his medication, there's no reason why he can't—" My dad broke off because he saw me in the doorway. "What do you want?" he asked, not rudely.

"Cereal," I said. "Sorry I missed dinner."

My dad waved at me. A whatever wave. I got down a box of Raisin Bran and a bowl.

"He's not ready," my mother said.

"Toni," my dad said. "He can't stay up there in his room forever. I mean, he's twenty years old, for Christ's sake. He's got to start getting out, seeing people his own age—"

"Oh, and back in the kitchen at Mastriani's, that's what he'll be doing. Getting out." My mom was being sarcastic again.

"Yes," my dad said. "With kids his own age. You know the crew back there. They'll be good for him."

My mother snorted. I ate my cereal, pretending to be very interested in the back of the milk carton, but really listening to their conversation.

"Next thing, you'll probably want to send him to one of those halfway houses," my mother said.

"Well, Toni," my dad said, "it might not be such a bad idea. He could meet other kids with his same problem, learn he's not alone in this—"

"I don't like it," my mother said. "I'm telling you, I don't like it."

My dad threw his hands in the air. "Of course you don't like it, Toni," he said. "You want to keep the kid wrapped up in cotton wool. But you can't do it, Toni. You can't protect him forever. And you can't watch him forever. He's going to find a way to do it again, whether you're keeping an eye on him or not."

"Dad's right," I said with my mouth full.

My mother glared at me. "Don't you have some place to be, young lady?"

I didn't, but I decided to go to my room to practice. Nobody bothered asking me why I was practicing after I'd just—supposedly—been at band practice for like six hours or something. That's just the way my family is.

Claire Lippman's not the only one who can hear me practicing. Ruth can hear me, too. As soon as I was done, the phone rang. It was Ruth, wanting to know all about my bike ride.

"It was okay," I said as I ran a cloth through the inside of my flute with this metal stick to clean out all the spit.

"Okay?" Ruth echoed. "Okay? What'd you do? Where did you go?"

"Just for a ride," I said. Don't ask me why, but I couldn't bring myself to tell Ruth about Sean. I hadn't even been able to tell Rob about Sean. In answer to his persistent questioning, I'd finally said, "He's my loan shark, okay?" which had gotten a hoot from Rob's friends.

"You went for a ride?" Ruth's voice rose incredulously. "To where? Chicago?"

"No. Just around. And then we went to Chick's."

"Chick's?" Ruth sounded close to spontaneous combustion. "That's a bar. A biker bar."

"Yeah," I said.

"And you didn't get carded?"

"No," I said. We didn't get carded because Rob knew the bartender.

"Did you drink?"

"Of course not," I said.

"Did he?"

"Duh, Ruth. Do you think I really would have gotten onto a bike with a guy who was drinking? We just had sodas."

"Oh. Well, did he kiss you?"

I didn't say anything. I was taking my flute apart, putting it into the little velvet compartments inside my case.

"Jeez," Ruth breathed. "He did. I can't believe he kissed you. Was there tongue?"

"Regrettably, no."

"Oh, my God," Ruth said. "Well, that's probably better. You shouldn't let him tongue you on a first date. He might think you're easy. So, are you going out again?"

"Maybe next weekend," I said, vaguely. He hadn't mentioned a thing, I realized now, about seeing me again. What did that mean? Did he not like me? Or was it just that it was my turn to ask him? Never having dated before, I was not sure how these things worked.

And there was no use asking Ruth. She was even more clueless than I was.

"I still can't believe," she was saying, "that you're seeing a Grit."

"You're such a snob," I said. "What does it matter? He's totally cool. And he knows everything about bikes."

"But he's not going to college, right? After he graduates?"

"No. He's going to work in his uncle's garage."

"Jeez," Ruth said. "Well, I guess it's okay if you just use him for sex and free bike rides."

"I'm hanging up now, Ruth," I said.

"Okay. You working tomorrow?"

"Is the Pope Catholic?"

"Okay. Wow. I can't believe he kissed you."

Actually, I couldn't, either. But I didn't tell Ruth that. Or about how, when he'd done it, I'd practically fallen off the back of his bike, I'd been so surprised. Just because I'm in detention a lot doesn't mean I'm experienced.

I hope it didn't show.



C H A P T E R

8

Every Saturday, and most Sundays after church, I have to work at one of my dad's restaurants. So does Michael. So did Douglas, before he went away to college, and got sick. I guess all kids whose parents own restaurants have to work in them at some point. It's supposed to teach us to have a work ethic, so we don't go around thinking everything just gets handed to you on a platter. Instead, we're the ones handling the platter. And the dishes. And the steam table. And the cash register. And the reservation book.

You name it, and if it has to do with food service, I've done it.

That particular Saturday, though, I was kind of spacing it with the cash register, so Pat, the manager, stuck me on busing. Hey, I had a lot on my mind. And no, it wasn't Rob Wilkins. It was the fact that, when I'd woken up that morning, I knew where Hadley Grant and Timothy Jonas Mills were.

My mom had thrown out the old milk carton, the one with Sean Patrick and Olivia Marie, and bought a new one. And I knew where the missing kids on the new one were, too.

It was freaking me out a little. I mean, where were these dreams coming from? It was so random to just wake up with all this information about a couple of total strangers in my head.

I wasn't going to call again. Once had been bad enough. But twice—well, that was pushing it. I mean, I didn't even know whether or not the information I'd given Rosemary had been accurate. What if it turned out to be totally bogus? What if, by some fluke, that really hadn't been Sean Patrick O'Hanahan? What if it had just been some random kid, and I'd totally freaked him out.  .  .  .

No. It had been him. I remembered the way he'd gone so pale beneath those freckles. It had been Sean, all right.

And if I'd been right about Sean …

The first break I got, I was on the pay phone by the ladies' room, on hold with 1-800-WHERE-R-YOU. I couldn't believe they'd put me on hold. How many people could be calling in on a Saturday afternoon? Jeesh. I only got a five-minute break, and I hadn't even gone to the bathroom yet. The minutes were ticking by, and a family had come in and sat down at one of the tables I hadn't bused yet. They were sitting there, pushing all the empty glasses and used plates into this big, precarious pile. I swear to God, people do not know how to act.

Finally, this woman picked up and asked how she could help me. I went, "Rosemary?"

"No," the woman said. She was white and Southern, I could tell. "Rosemary's not in today. This is Judith. How may I help you?"

I said, "Oh, well, I think I know where these two kids are. Um, Hadley Grant and Timothy Jonas Mills?"

Judith went, "Oh?" in this way suspicious voice.

"Yeah," I said. The family at the table I still hadn't bused was starting to look around in an angry way. One of their kids had tried to drink the leftover ice in one of the used glasses. "Look, Hadley's at—" And I gave her the exact address, which happened to be in Florida. "—and Timothy's in Kansas." I gave her the street address. "Did you get all that?"

"Excuse me, miss," Judith said. "Are you the—"

I said, "Sorry, gotta go," and hung up, mostly because the family was starting to pile the dirty plates on a table that had just opened up beside theirs, but also because I thought Judith had been about to yell at me about Sean and Olivia, and that I did not need.

But after I hung up, I felt better. Just like yesterday. I felt like a weight had been lifted off me.

At least until Pat told me I couldn't bus anymore, and sent me in the back to wash dishes.

The rest of the weekend passed pretty much without incident. On Saturday night, Ruth came over, and this time she actually brought her cello. We played a concerto, then watched some videos she'd rented. Mike came down for a little while and teased us about our taste in movies. Ruth only likes movies that have a beauty makeover in them. Like Pretty Woman, when Julia Roberts gets all the clothes. I tend to like movies with explosions. There's only a few movies that have both. Point of No Return, with Bridget Fonda, is about the only one. We've seen that movie nine times.