“Rory,” Ian said as he tried to pull me back.

I yanked my arm out from his grip and went into the room. “Stephen, it’s time to wake up. Come on. We’re going to be late for school,” I said as I lightly shook him.

I stood there and stared at him as I ran my hand across his cheek. “You’re so cold. Why are you so cold?”

My body was trembling and tears were falling from my eyes. Ian came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

“He’s so cold, Ian. Ask the nurse to bring him a warm blanket.”

“Sweetheart, that isn’t going to help him. Rory, he’s gone.”

I knew it was true, but I didn’t want to believe it. I felt like I was in a horrific nightmare and I couldn’t wake up. I turned to Ian and looked at him.

“This isn’t real, Ian. This is all a dream, a very bad dream. Please wake me up. Please,” I pleaded with him as I grabbed his arms.

“It’s not a dream, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He started to cry.

My legs were giving out and I began to sink slowly to the floor. Ian grabbed me and held onto me so I wouldn’t fall. “You need to sit down, Rory,” he said.

I turned around, and with Ian still holding me, I looked at Stephen. He looked so peaceful. I climbed up on the bed and snuggled into him.

“You’re finally over the rainbow,” I whispered. “There will be no more voices and no more pain. You’re free, Stephen, and one day, we’ll be together again.”

I began sobbing as Ian placed his hands on me and sat me up. “Come on, sweetheart, the nurses need you to sign some paperwork.”

He handed me a tissue and I wiped my eyes. The nurse was standing in the doorway with a clipboard in her hand. “I’m very sorry for your loss, Miss Sinclair.”

“Thank you,” I whispered as I took the pen from her hand and signed on the line.

Ian wrapped his arm around me. “We need to go home now, okay?”

I nodded my head as we slowly walked out of the room and out of the hospital. If Ian hadn’t been holding me tight, I would’ve fallen to the ground. He was my support beam right now because, without him, I would fall to the ground. He opened the door for me and helped me into the car. As we drove down the road, I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn’t believe Stephen had died. A feeling of loneliness crept up inside me. I silently chanted, “I can make it home. I can make it home.”

Finally, Ian pulled into the driveway and, before he could even throw the car in park, I jumped out the car door and ran towards the beach. Ian yelled my name and ran behind me. When I got to the shoreline, I collapsed on my knees and screamed. Ian came up behind me and, instead of wrapping his arms around me, he knelt down beside me, but didn’t touch me. He gave me my space. The space I needed at that moment. He didn’t say word. He just sat there beside me and let me have my fit.

“Why? Why did you take him?” I screamed as I looked up at the sky. As I continued to sob, Ian slowly inched his hand towards mine, stopping just before he reached my fingers. I turned my head slightly and looked at his warm hand. The hand that reached out to comfort me. I placed my hand on top of him, letting him know that now I needed him. He let out a sigh and pulled me into him as we both fell back in the sand. He held me as I sobbed into his chest and told me to let it all out. I looked up at him as tears were streaming down his face. I raised my hand and softly wiped them away with my finger.

“I need to go inside now,” I said.

“Okay, sweetheart.”

Ian helped me up and placed his arm around me, helping me up to the house, up the stairs, and into our bedroom. I climbed on top of the bed and curled up in a ball. I couldn’t deal with the reality of what happened, not yet. Ian covered me with a blanket and sat down on the edge of the bed, pushing my hair behind my ear.

“Get some rest, my love. I’ll handle things. I’ll be back to check on you later. I love you.”

I nodded my head and whispered, “I love you too.”

Chapter 18

Ian & Rory

Seeing Rory like that was the worst thing I’d ever seen. I wanted to make all of her sadness and pain go away, but there was only one thing that could do that, and that was time. I walked downstairs and told Charles what had happened. I made sure he was extra attentive to her needs. As I walked over to the bar and poured myself a bourbon, my phone rang; it was Adalynn.

“Adalynn, I’m glad you called. I was just going to call you.”

“Ian, I can’t get a hold of Rory. I wanted to know if she went to get her dress fitted.”

“No, Adalynn, she didn’t. Something happened.”

“What’s wrong, Ian? You sound funny,” she asked.

“Stephen passed away this morning.”

“WHAT?!” she screamed into the phone. “I’m on my way.”

“No, Ada—” I started to say before she hung up.

Great. There was no way I was letting her see Rory today. I walked into my study and sat down. I rested my elbows on the desk and cupped my face in my hands. What a day. What a fucking lousy day. I debated whether or not to call Rory’s Aunt Nancy. Maybe I should wait and see what Rory wanted to do. I didn’t want to upset her any more. I reached in my pocket and pulled out my keys. I unlocked the drawer and opened it. When I lifted out the box, I looked down at the white envelope. I sighed and slammed the drawer shut. Just as I was about to get up, Adalynn walked in.

“Ian, I’m so sorry. Where is Rory?”

“She’s sleeping, Adalynn, and I want her to stay that way.”

“My God, what happened?” she asked as she sat down in the chair across from my desk.

I took in a deep breath and ran my hand over my face. “The doctor thinks the virus attacked Stephen’s heart. They’re going to do an autopsy to be sure.”

“Oh my God. Poor Rory. How bad is she?”

“She’s bad. I’m really scared that she may not recover from this. You should’ve seen her, Adalynn. I was terrified.”

“With the right support and time, she’ll get through this. Ian, my God, she needs you more now than ever.”

“I know that and I’m going to handle everything for her and do whatever it takes to help her get through this.”

Just thinking about the road ahead scared me. Rory was a strong woman, but Stephen was her world. She spent her entire life taking care of him and now he was gone.

“Tell Rory I stopped by and I’ll be back tomorrow.”

I started to speak, but she interrupted me.

“Yes, Ian. I WILL be back tomorrow. I’m her best friend and I need to show her my support and love.”

I sighed. “All right, Adalynn. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I walked her to the front door, kissed her, and gave her a hug. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“You know I’m always here.”

I gave her a half smile as I shut the door. I walked up the stairs and slowly turned the doorknob. I peeked inside at Rory and she was still sleeping. As I went to shut the door, I heard her call my name.

“Ian?”

“Yes, sweetheart, it’s me,” I said as I walked into the bedroom.

I sat on the edge of the bed and ran my hand across her soft cheek. Tears began to fill her eyes again as she looked at me. I didn’t know what to say to her. I was so scared that I was going to say the wrong thing. She took my hand and brought it up to her lips as she softly kissed my palm and then began to sob.

“I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

“I know, sweetheart. I can’t either.”

I got up from the bed, lifted my shirt over my head, and took down my pants. I climbed in on my side and turned her around so she was facing me. I held her face close to my chest as she wrapped her leg around mine. We fell asleep for the rest of the night.

* * *

I woke up. Rory’s side of the bed was empty. Instantly, I panicked. The bathroom door was open and the light was off. She wasn’t in there. I looked over at the clock and saw that it was five a.m. I pulled on a pair of gray sweatpants and walked downstairs. I noticed the door off the kitchen was unlocked. I stepped onto the patio and looked down at the beach, where I saw Rory sitting in the sand, looking out into the water.

“Ian, I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she said as I sat down next to her.

“You didn’t wake me. I woke up and you were gone. I got nervous. What are you doing out here?”

“I needed some fresh air,” she said as she softly took my hand.

“Talk to me, Rory. Tell me what you’re feeling,” I said.

“You don’t want to know what I’m feeling, Ian.”

“Yes I do. Talk to me.”

She closed her eyes as she began to speak softly. “I feel alone. I feel like a part of me was ripped away and it’s a part that I’ll never get back. I feel lost, Ian. I spent my entire life taking care of my brother. It’s all I knew and now it’s gone; he’s gone. What am I going to do on Thursdays?”

“You’ll go on, Rory. You’ll do something else on Thursdays. It’s going to be tough for a while, but you’re one of the strongest women I know and, with time, you’ll begin to heal.”

She wiped a tear that fell from her eye. “Heal. Does anybody ever really heal? There will always be an empty place inside me. A place where Stephen and I were connected. A place where we were not only twins, but we were one. We shared a bond and a connection on a deeper level than you could ever imagine.”

“I know you did, sweetheart, and I want you to hold onto his memory for the rest of your life. As hard as this is, you need to think of Stephen and how he is right now. He’s no longer locked up in a psychiatric hospital. He doesn’t hear voices anymore and he’s free. In some way, that has to make you feel a little better.”