I liked the way his gaze slid over me way too much. He saw the real me, the one I hid from everyone else. He knew I wasn’t here for anything related to the group. I was here because I wanted to be.

Knowing he could read my expression—I never did have much of a poker face—I lifted my mouth in a smile and held up the bag of groceries. “I came to make dinner.” My gaze floated over to the pizza boxes he was holding.

“Tucker won his soccer game. We’re celebrating with his favorite—ham and pineapple pizza. You’re welcome to join us.” His eyes appraised me coolly, as if waiting to see what I’d do.

“I…I don’t know.”

“Come on, who can say no to pizza?” He grinned and waved the boxes tantalizingly in front of me.

He was right, my stomach grumbled at the scent. Pizza with Knox and his brothers sounded perfect right now. Much better than taking the bus back home alone and sitting there with Brian watching me all night while he pretended to be working on his laptop.

“That’d be great.” I hoisted the bag of groceries on my hip, immediately feeling better as my previous disappointment faded into the background.

“What’s all that?” Knox tipped his head to the bag while unlocking the front door.

“I was, um…” Spit it out, McKenna. “Going to make you guys dinner. Sort of as a thank-you for inviting me to eat with you last time.”

Knox’s smile lit up his whole face. He peeked inside the bag. “You’ll just have to come back another time then to cook this up.”

“Deal.” I breathed a sigh of relief and followed him inside.

“Jaxon?” Knox called, turning on lights as we crossed through the living and dining rooms en route to the kitchen. The house was dark and silent. I hadn’t guessed that Jaxon was home. He hadn’t answered the door when I knocked.

While Knox set the pizza boxes down on the kitchen table, I went with Tucker to grab paper plates, napkins, and drinks from the fridge. I rounded the corner just in time to see Jaxon shuffling a girl out the front door.

“Hey,” he said, strolling up to join us at the kitchen table once the girl was gone.

“Who was that?” Luke asked.

“Lila,” Jaxon said, offering no further explanation.

Knox didn’t look happy; the easygoing attitude he had outside vanished as he turned to face Jaxon. “What the hell are you wearing?” Knox looked down at Jaxon with his eyebrows raised. “Looks like your jeans got into a fight with a lawn mower.”

Jaxon’s jeans weren’t just ripped at the knees, they were practically shredded from the thighs down. I could easily see the print of his plaid boxer shorts. He grinned. “Lila can be a little rough.”

“Go change. Throw those away. And I told you, I don’t want girls here when I’m not home.”

“Yeah, because you never have girls here, Knox. Your fucking bedroom practically has a revolving door. I’m surprised there’s not a sign-up sheet out in the hall.”

“Don’t curse.” Knox stepped closer, his posture tightening.

His eyes flashed to mine and I couldn’t help but betray my curiosity. I chewed on my lip, wondering if what Jaxon said was true.

“Go. Change,” Knox repeated. It was clear he didn’t want Jaxon to say anything else to me.

As if remembering we were supposed to be celebrating Tucker’s win, Knox hoisted him onto his shoulder before walking to the table. “You get the first slice, buddy.” He slid Tucker into the chair at the head of the table and we all took our seats.

Over slices of pizza, Tucker recounted his victory to Jaxon and me. His entire face lit up when he talked about scoring his first-ever game-winning goal. As he chatted excitedly, Knox’s gaze rested on me, watching me as I ate.

A tight knot formed in my throat and I had to remind myself how to swallow. While I sat reminding myself how to properly chew and swallow my food, I realized one thing. Knox was a good distraction.

Miraculously, for hours I hadn’t thought about my parents, or my guilt, or my loneliness. Not once. Brian’s earlier warning that I needed to get a life came to mind.

Well, this was me, getting a life. I doubted he’d approve of my methods.


Knox

Having McKenna here was strange, yet felt completely natural at the same time. I needed to keep it together in front of the guys, but I wanted to pull her aside and ask her why she came back.

Once dinner was over, I sent McKenna into the living room to relax while the guys and I cleared the table. This was all new territory for me—but since she was a guest, she shouldn’t have to clean up, right?

I carried the now-empty pizza boxes out to the garbage can and leaned against the side of the house, inhaling deep breaths of cool night air. It smelled like rain. I closed my eyes and tried to calm down. Why was she here? I never got rattled around a woman, but things were different with McKenna. Was it because she led the sex addicts group I was part of? No. I didn’t think that was it. She made me feel aware and alive in a way I hadn’t felt before, challenged things I thought I knew. She’d talked me into getting STD testing done, though I’d been adamant I didn’t need it.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous for the results to arrive. McKenna thought I did the test for my brothers. The truth was that I did it for her, not for some altruistic purpose. I wanted her. Something told me if I pushed her, I could have her. And I’d never expose her to something I picked up from one of my exploits. I just wasn’t ready to go there until I knew I could trust myself with her.

When I headed back inside, I found the boys in the kitchen cleaning up and jumped in to lend a hand, welcoming the distraction from the thoughts swirling inside my brain.

“So, what’s McKenna doing back here? I thought she was just your counselor,” Jaxon asked, looking down as he washed a glass in the sink. It was how guys worked. Sometimes we found it easier to have conversations when our hands were busy.

I bumped his shoulder as I pushed my way in to rinse. “She is. She’s just my counselor. But she came to hang out too. That cool with you?”

“Sure. Why should I care?”

I could tell there was more to it than he was letting on. He’d brought it up for a reason. Maybe he was just curious about my having a normal relationship with a girl. Hell, I was too. I’d repeatedly told my brothers things weren’t like that between McKenna and me, but apparently they knew my history with women too well.

“I like her,” Luke said as he stuffed the paper plates into the overflowing trash can.

“Me too,” Tucker chimed in. “She’s nice.”

“She’s got a nice ass,” Jaxon said, smirking down into the dishwater.

Reaching back with a wet hand, I smacked the back of his head lightly. “Don’t talk about her ass, dude.”

Shit, he was right, though. Earlier when I’d watched her lift up onto her toes to reach the top shelf in the cupboard, her shirt had ridden up, revealing the milky skin of her lower back and a perfectly round ass I wanted to grip in my hands.

I’d fought the urge to walk up behind her and cage her in against the counter, and rub up against her like a dog in heat. It should be illegal to be that hot and be a sex addiction counselor. Seriously, they needed to outlaw that shit.


McKenna

The guys wouldn’t let me help clean up; apparently it was because they wanted to grill Knox about what my appearance here meant. Hearing him say I was just his counselor had stung. I was starting to wonder if I shouldn’t have come. Maybe my being here was confusing.

I sat on the couch and flipped on the TV, wondering what to do. I hadn’t felt like just his counselor. It had felt like hanging out with a friend. But apparently I needed to stop being delusional.

Soon the boys had finished their chores, and though Jaxon disappeared up the stairs, the others joined me in the living room. Before I knew it, I was surrounded on the couch by boys, Luke on one side and Tucker on the other. Tucker sat motionless, looking up at me in wonder. “You’re really pretty,” he said. “And you smell good. Like candy and soap.”

“Thank you.” I tousled his hair, running my fingers through the too-long strands. He was overdue for a haircut, but the look suited him.

He scooted his body closer and yawned. I patted my thigh and he laid his head down in my lap. My heart full, I reached down and pushed his hair back from his forehead, and he released a contented little sigh and closed his eyes. It seemed these boys were hungry for female attention, and it killed me to think they missed their mother so badly they were willing to accept attention from anyone. Even from me, someone they only met a couple of days ago.