to keep her eyes closed and let Leslie open her shirt, unbutton her jeans, and
stroke her sorrows into pleasure. She wanted Leslie to…
Leslie. She wanted Leslie. She opened her eyes. “Yes. Because I love Leslie.”
“She’s not here, Dev,” Natalie said, her gentleness softening the sting in her
words. “I don’t know why she isn’t, but the reasons don’t really matter. What
matters is that you’re here alone, hurting, and I want to be with you. We’ll both
feel better, I promise.”
“I can’t,” Dev groaned. “I can’t make love with you if I’m thinking about her.
I’m sorry. I can’t.”
Natalie leaned back, her Þ ngers slowly stroking Dev’s arm. “Don’t worry. You
won’t be thinking about her when you’re with me.” She
• 182 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
smiled, a slow, lazy, conÞ dent smile. “I know it, and one of these days, you’re
going to know it too.” She leaned close again and nipped at Dev’s chin, then
kissed the spot she’d bitten. “And when you do, Dev, I’ll be waiting. And I
promise you a night you’ll never forget.”
Dev laughed, but her eyes were serious. “It doesn’t bother you?
Knowing the way I feel about Les?”
“Of course it bothers me,” Natalie said, her eyes blazing. “It bothers me a hell of
a lot that you’re so torn up. And it bothers me that I want you to distraction and
can’t have you. Yet.” She blew out a breath.
“But I can be patient. And I’ve got you for the whole summer.”
• 183 •
• 184 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
When Leslie walked into the lodge the next morning, Dev and Natalie were
having breakfast in the dining room. Natalie wore her park uniform, and Leslie
wondered if she had brought it with her the night before or had gone home
sometime in the evening. The rain had Þ nally stopped just before dawn, but it
wouldn’t have been an enjoyable walk back to the parking lot last night. Natalie
probably stayed with Dev. In the tiny cabin. With only one bed. Leslie gritted
her teeth, shook her head no when Dev gestured to the empty chair at their
table, and pushed through into the kitchen.
The cook they’d hired was cleaning up after breakfast, and Leslie could hear
her mother and father talking out on the screened-in porch.
She poured a cup of coffee and joined them.
“Hi, Mom. Hi, Daddy. How are you feeling?”
“Like a turtle ß ipped over on its back in the middle of the Northway,” her
father grumped. His crutches were propped against the chair, where he sat with
his casted leg supported on an embroidered footstool that looked barely
capable of supporting the weight. “I can’t get down to the dock on these
crutches, especially not after all this rain.”
“Is there anything you need me to do?” Leslie asked, leaning her hip against the
end of the couch and sipping her coffee. “I’m going to bring the boat in this
morning.”
“That should be Þ ne,” her father said. “We’ll make arrangements for someone
to take guests out and back the rest of the summer.” He glanced at Eileen, then
at Leslie. “The doctors said eight weeks in this damn cast.”
• 185 •
RADCLY fFE
“Eight weeks, minimum,” her mother interjected. “You can’t rush these things,
Paul.”
“I was wondering, Les,” he said hesitantly, “if you might be able to come up
Labor Day weekend and give your mother a hand closing up.”
“I can handle it, Paul,” Eileen said, a hint of reproach in her voice.
“Leslie’s busy enough with her own work. I don’t want her to think she’s going
to need to work here every time she comes home.”
When Leslie thought of how much went into the end of the season closing, her Þ
rst reaction was to beg off, pleading too full a schedule.
The cabins and all the rooms would need to be inventoried and items marked
for replacement or repair, the boathouse would have to be winterized, and the
boat and equipment overhauled in preparation for dry-docking, just for starters.
Supervising the process, let alone doing it, was an enormous load. Still, it was
going to be a rough summer for her mother, and no matter how much extra help
she hired, there were some things that couldn’t be left to employees. She really
should come home to help. And Dev had said she’d be here all summer. That
fact made the decision easy.
“I’ll come. It’s no problem.” Leslie knew it was crazy to come back while Dev
was here, especially since she’d already decided to leave right after the Fourth
of July celebration just so she wouldn’t have to see Dev anymore. But she
couldn’t help herself. Whenever she thought of going back to Manhattan, back
to her life, she felt both relief and sorrow. She was comfortable—more than
comfortable, she was satisÞ ed with the life she’d made for herself. It would be
good to immerse herself in work again. Not to be constantly assaulted by conß
icting desires. Not to be faced with the guilt of wanting Dev so desperately. But
when she imagined actually leaving, of never seeing Dev again, she wanted to
cry. By Labor Day, she’d have control of her life again. She’d be able to see
Dev and put their relationship—their friendship—into perspective. Yes, it would
be much better that way.
“It’ll be fun.”
Eileen laughed. “Then you don’t remember what it’s like very well.”
“It’s funny, being home makes some things feel like yesterday.”
Leslie smiled and shook her head. “I’d better go see if Ranger Natalie is ready
to ferry me out to the island.”
“See you later, honey,” her father said.
• 186 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
“I’m going to go into the ofÞ ce later this morning, Mom. I probably won’t be
home for dinner.” In fact, Leslie thought, she intended to spend as little time as
possible around the lodge until she was ready to leave.
The less she saw of Dev the better.
v
“You really ought to try the pizza at Iannucci’s,” Natalie said, pushing her
breakfast plate aside. “The crust is amazing. I’ll pick one up for you tonight.”
“I’m probably going to be at the lab pretty late,” Dev said.
“So I’ll bring it by.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I want to.” Natalie’s eyes narrowed ever so slightly and Dev followed her gaze.
Leslie, carrying an armload of laundry, was on her way over to their table.
“Thanks for the loan of the clothes, Dev,” Leslie said, depositing the washed
and folded sweatshirt and jeans on the empty chair next to Dev.
“You’re welcome.” Dev watched Leslie study Natalie with an inscrutable
expression, and wondered if Leslie suspected that Natalie had spent the night.
She felt foolish for wanting Leslie to know that Natalie had slept on the couch
again. What could it possibly matter?
“Ready to hit the water?” Natalie said, smiling at Leslie.
“Sure. Can’t wait.”
Natalie laughed and rose. She brushed a hand over Dev’s shoulders.
“I’ll be by with that pizza delivery.”
“I’ll walk you out,” Dev said. She picked up her briefcase and clean clothes.
“I’m heading into the lab now.”
Once outside, Dev took the turn to the parking lot while Leslie and Natalie
continued on down to the dock. Dev waited a minute before getting into the
truck, watching the two women cast off. Natalie, dark and petite, Leslie lithe
and blond. Both bright, both accomplished, both beautiful. She enjoyed
Natalie’s conÞ dence, her laugh, her sudden ß ashes of authority. But looking at
Natalie didn’t make her burn the way seeing Leslie did. Leslie’s smile had lit the
path through some of her darkest nights, and she’d lain down to sleep countless
times with the sound of Leslie’s laughter ringing in her heart. Now she had the
memory of Leslie in her arms, and for a while at least, whether she
• 187 •
RADCLY fFE
wanted it or not, there wasn’t room for anyone else. Maybe when Leslie was
gone, and the dreams Þ nally died, there would be.
When Leslie turned in Dev’s direction, one hand shading her eyes in the hazy
glare of a Þ tful dawn, Dev gave a start. Although Leslie was too far away for
their eyes to meet, Dev felt the tug of connection nevertheless. When the boat
pulled away from the dock with Natalie at the wheel, Leslie settled onto one of
the benches. She wrapped her arm around a cleat and faced forward, hair
blowing in the wind. Even as the sound of the engine died and the boat
disappeared like a candle winking out, Dev could still feel Leslie’s presence.
Someday soon that link would be gone, and she wondered if she would rejoice
or bleed.
v
Three days later Dev stood in almost exactly the same spot, watching Leslie’s
mother climb the hill from the boathouse toward her.
It was Saturday afternoon on the Fourth of July and the weather had not
disappointed. It was hot, and it was going to be hotter by nightfall in the
boathouse. She could see from where she stood that all the windows had been
opened. The large wooden frames swung out over the water on either side of
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