just the barest touch of lips. An ache of wonder Þ lled her chest and her words
came out on a sob. “I know it’s a mistake, Les, but I don’t feel it. When I touch
you, when I’m anywhere near you, places open up inside of me that are Þ lled
with sunlight. Places that have been dark for so long.”
“Oh God, Dev,” Leslie whispered, wanting to kiss her so badly.
She hungered for Dev’s passion to ß ood over her the way it had every time
they’d kissed, and the force of her wanting terriÞ ed her. “I can’t tell anymore
what’s real and what isn’t. Up until a few weeks ago I knew exactly who I was,
what I was doing, where I was going. Now I…I hardly recognize myself.”
“Do you love her?”
The question pierced Leslie’s heart, because she had never asked it herself. Of
herself. Even though she couldn’t see Dev clearly in the pitch-black tent, Leslie
closed her eyes. She didn’t need to see Dev’s face to hear the pain, and knew
what the asking had cost her. She kept her eyes closed while she searched for
an answer, because she couldn’t bear to see ever again what her words did to
Dev. Truth. God, what was truth? Were there gradations of truth? Was
something true only if she didn’t know any other way to be, any other way to
feel? When had truth become relative for her? When had love?
Did she love Rachel? Two years. She’d been a willing partner in making the
relationship whatever it was or wasn’t. Rachel was not at fault for never giving
Leslie what she hadn’t demanded, and Leslie would not negate her as she had
once negated Dev. She took a deep breath and refused to qualify or excuse—
as much as her heart screamed out for her to. “Yes.”
With trembling Þ ngers, Dev traced Leslie’s face in the dark—her forehead, her
cheeks, her mouth. Then she unzipped the bag. “I’m going to get out. Keep the
bag closed so you don’t lose all the heat.”
“What are you going to do?” Leslie forced herself to release her hold on Dev
and rolled over onto her side as the bag opened and Dev extricated herself.
Dev sat up and rummaged for the lantern and turned it on, then checked her
watch. “It’s midnight. If the rain doesn’t let up enough for us to chance taking
the boat out on the lake in the morning, we’ll have to try starting a Þ re to dry
out some of our gear. The tent’s holding, but the ß oor’s damp.”
• 160 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
Leslie caught Dev’s arm. “What are you going to do for the rest of the night,
Dev?”
“I’m going to hunt out whatever dryish wood I can and get it under a tarp.”
“You’re not going anywhere.” Leslie threw back the top of the sleeping bag, sat
up next to Dev, and clamped a hand on her arm.
“Besides the rain, it’s not safe out there. In case you’ve forgotten, trees are
falling like matchsticks. If one comes down on you, I’d never Þ nd you.”
“Les, I’ll be okay.”
“No.”
Dev looked away. On Leslie, anger looked a lot like arousal. And Dev was still
very close to boiling, and the pressure of Leslie’s Þ ngers digging into her arm
was as potent as a caress. If they struggled in the small space, she’d lose the last
frayed rein on the desire that was choking her. She’d be all over Leslie, and
there were only so many times she could stop. “Okay. We should both try to
get some sleep, then. I’ll put on some extra clothes and sleep on top of the bag.
I’ll be okay.”
“That’s absolutely ridiculous,” Leslie barked. “We ought to be capable of
sleeping next to one another fully clothed. We’re not teenagers, for God’s
sake.”
Dev laughed harshly. “No, we’re not. That part, I do understand.”
“Then get back into the sleeping bag.” Leslie Þ sted the front of Dev’s shirt and
pulled her down. Her expression softened as she barely resisted caressing Dev’s
stony face. “Get in, zip it back up, and turn on your side with your back to me.”
Since it made as much sense as both of them sitting up for the rest of the night,
freezing, Dev complied. It took some doing, but Þ nally she lay with Leslie
curved along her back and Leslie’s hand resting on her shoulder. As much as
she knew it was crazy, she was grateful for whatever bit of contact she could
have with Leslie for however short a time. She was too tired and wound too
tight to think much beyond that.
Leslie rested her cheek lightly against Dev’s back and closed her eyes. Truth.
Do you love her?
Yes, but never the way I loved you.
• 161 •
RADCLY fFE
v
Leslie awoke in hazy gray light, damp and stiff and aroused. She was in the
same position she had been in the night before when she’d fallen asleep, her
belly and breasts snugged against Dev’s butt and back. Her borrowed jeans
were a size too big for her, but she still felt an uncomfortable tightness in her
groin, a deep throbbing pressure that had her longing for release. She’d never
been so aware of her body, or another woman’s, or of the relentless urgency to
be touched. She inched away and felt Dev stir immediately. Dev must have been
lying awake.
“What time is it?” Leslie whispered.
“About six.”
“I don’t know what I want Þ rst. We skipped dinner and I’m hungry.
I want to brush my teeth. And I have to pee.”
Dev laughed, found the zipper, and opened the bag. She crawled out, gritting
her teeth as pain lanced down her leg, and slowly worked her way into a sitting
position. Her right hip was on Þ re. “The Þ rst two I can help you with. You’re
on your own with the last one.” She leaned over and pulled a dry bag from a
pile. “How about a protein bar to stave off starvation?”
“Let me take a quick run outside and I’ll take you up on it.” Leslie lifted one of
her ruined shoes and grimaced. “They’re a wreck. Would you mind if I wore
your boots?”
“Go ahead.”
After Leslie left the tent, Dev tried her two-way radio. The batteries were still
good, but she couldn’t raise anyone back at Lakeview. From the sounds of the
storm, the wind was still high. She dug out the rubber boots she wore for
shallow water work and followed Leslie out to take care of her own call of
nature. When she was done, she inspected the trench around the tent. Even
though nearly obliterated by the driving downpour, it had nevertheless protected
them from a great deal of runoff. With a sigh, she turned to get the shovel from
the tent to re-dig it.
“Your leg’s bothering you, isn’t it?” Leslie said, stepping from the woods into
the small clearing around the tent. “You’re limping pretty badly this morning.”
“Too much time in one position.” As sore, tired, and emotionally
• 162 •
WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE
exhausted as she was, Dev couldn’t help but smile. Leslie had rolled up the
sleeves and cuffs of Dev’s sweatshirt and jeans, both of which were a size too
big for her, and she looked as young and fresh as she had when they were kids.
“What?” Leslie asked grumpily.
“Nothing.”
Leslie cocked her head and squinted appraisingly at Dev, impatiently brushing
rain from her eyes with one hand. The torrent had subsided to a heavy, steady
deluge. “What do we need to do?”
“For now, just freshen up these trenches to keep the ß oor as dry as we can. If
we have to sleep another night out here, I don’t want the sleeping bag getting
wet.”
“I’m not sleeping out here another night.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll be okay. Once we have a Þ re going, we can get things
reasonably dry.”
“Where’s the shovel?” Leslie walked to the tent and yanked down the zipper on
the ß ap. It wasn’t about sleeping wet. She didn’t care if she had to sleep under
the trees in a monsoon. She couldn’t spend another night next to Dev, not
without imploding or attacking her. She couldn’t even look at her without
starting to ache. Dev had circles under her eyes, her wet hair clung in disheveled
strands to her neck, and her work shirt and jeans were mud streaked. And she
was absolutely gorgeous.
“I’ll take care of it,” Dev said.
Leslie turned abruptly and found Dev inches from her. She balled her Þ sts so
she wouldn’t slide her hands into Dev’s hair. “You won’t.
You’ll get in that tent and lie down. You can hardly walk.”
Dev’s jaw tightened. Even in the rain and shadowy light, Leslie’s eyes blazed.
Dev wanted to kiss her. She wanted more than that. She wanted Leslie under
her, naked and open and wet.
“Get in the tent, Dev,” Leslie said, watching the hunger rise in Dev’s face. No
one had ever looked at her like that before, and she craved it now like nothing
she had ever known. Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Please.”
“Leslie—”
“Glad to see you two are still in one piece!” Natalie called as she materialized
out of the woods.
Dev jerked and stepped back a pace. Leslie took a long breath and settled
herself before turning to face the ranger. Natalie stood with
• 163 •
RADCLY fFE
her hands on her hips observing them with a curious expression on her face. She
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