All the way home from the hospital, she’d been looking forward to seeing Dev

and then when Dev had mentioned taking the afternoon off to spend with

Natalie out on the lake, she’d felt foolish. The conversation about work and

Dev’s obvious disdain had frayed the last bit of her nerves, and she’d lost her

temper. She never lost her temper. She never behaved like this at all. Constantly

examining her every feeling. She didn’t ruminate, she acted.

“You’ve been a great help in the last few days,” Leslie said, determined to get

back on sane footing. “And I want you to know I appreciate it.”

“I didn’t mean to get so personal tonight,” Dev replied. “I shouldn’t have

badgered you about the tests.”

“It’s okay. It was…nice of you…to be concerned.” Leslie meant it, and

couldn’t help but wonder why Rachel hadn’t asked. To be fair, though, she had

downplayed the entire thing with everyone.

Dev couldn’t help herself. “Did everything else turn out okay?

Besides the echocardiogram?”

Leslie sighed. “Not exactly. At the very end of the stress test I had a little bit of

that irregular heartbeat thing happen. Nothing terrible, and I didn’t really have

any symptoms. I was a little short of breath, but I was running uphill at Þ ve

miles an hour.”

“So what did they say?”

“Oh, the usual. I should follow up with my physician. I should take my

medication. I should avoid stimulants and stress—” Leslie snorted. “That should

be simple enough.”

“So you’re going to do all that, right?”

It was almost dark, but Leslie could see Dev’s eyes shining in the moonlight.

Intense and penetrating. She’d know her eyes anywhere.

She’d know her voice anywhere too. Husky and low.

“I suppose,” Leslie said. She’d already decided to take the prescription

medication she’d been provided, at least on a trial basis.

Hopefully that would balance the coffee, because she had no intention of giving

that up . As to the stress, she couldn’t very well change her life.

“That’s good.” Dev’s hand was only an inch away from Leslie’s leg, but she

resisted the urge to touch her. “Any news on your dad?”

• 124 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

“I talked to my mother right before I came down here. He’s hungry and wants

to come home.” Leslie laughed. “Very positive signs.”

“Great news.”

“Yes. I’m sure he’ll be a lot happier recuperating here than in the hospital.”

“I can guarantee that.”

Leslie caught her breath. Would they ever be able to talk without the past

between them? Compelled by emotions that had lain buried since that night, she

spoke almost without volition. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you in the

hospital.”

“I wouldn’t have known,” Dev said quietly.

“That doesn’t matter. I should have come.” Leslie drew her legs up onto the

bench and wrapped her arms around them. She rested her cheek on her knee,

watching Dev’s face, which was clearer now that the moon had risen. “I don’t

have any excuses, Dev.”

Dev traced her Þ ngertips lightly over the back of Leslie’s hand, then pulled

back. “You don’t need any. You were young. We both were.

It was all pretty confusing.”

“You were my friend and I let Mike hurt you.” Leslie ruthlessly quelled the tears

that threatened to Þ ll her eyes. “I hurt you. I don’t expect you to forgive me,

but I want you to know I regret it—have regretted it ever since that night.”

“Leslie,” Dev said softly. “You couldn’t have stopped Mike. And I…I shouldn’t

have kissed you. It just happened.”

“I wasn’t expecting it. I didn’t have any idea…I swear.” Leslie gripped Dev’s

arm. “I didn’t know what I was feeling back then. I didn’t know what was

happening between us.”

Dev couldn’t bear to hear the anguish in Leslie’s voice. She cupped Leslie’s

cheek and traced her thumb along the edge of her jaw.

“I know. It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. It was mine.”

“No! It wasn’t your fault. There was no fault.” Leslie caught Dev’s hand,

pressed her lips to Dev’s palm. “How could there be, when we loved each

other?”

Leslie’s touch, Leslie’s words—the nearness of her. It was more than Dev

could take. She pushed her hand into Leslie’s hair and kissed her. It was so like

that Þ rst kiss, and so much more. She hadn’t known then what lay beyond the

soft warmth of Leslie’s mouth, just as she hadn’t fully recognized what her own

body craved. She knew now with aching clarity. When Leslie’s lips parted to

allow her entrance, Dev

• 125 •

RADCLY fFE

kissed her more deeply. She wrapped an arm around Leslie’s waist and pulled

her tightly to her. Leslie’s tongue met hers, not hesitantly, but every bit as

questing. Every bit as demanding.

Leslie Þ sted Dev’s shirt in both hands, pulling Dev closer still.

Dev reeled under an onslaught of sensation. Leslie’s mouth was so hot, her

body so Þ rm and pliant as it cleaved to every curve of her own.

When Leslie drew one thigh high over Dev’s so their legs entwined, Dev

groaned as heat rushed through her. She broke the kiss and crushed her mouth

to Leslie’s throat.

“God, Les,” Dev moaned.

Leslie arched her neck and clasped the back of Dev’s head, pressing her ß esh

against Dev’s teeth, wanting to be devoured. She snaked her hand beneath

Dev’s waistband and yanked her shirt free, wild for the feel of Dev’s skin.

When Dev’s hand skimmed beneath her sweater and closed over her breast,

she cried out and raked her nails up Dev’s abdomen.

Dev levered herself over Leslie’s body and braced her hands on the back of the

stone bench on either side of Leslie’s shoulders. While her mouth roamed

ravenously over Leslie’s throat and jaw and mouth, she ground her hips

between Leslie’s legs. When she felt Leslie’s Þ ngers dig into her ass and

Leslie’s hips surge to meet her, the roaring in her head drowned out all thought.

She was back in that other night, helpless with longing, drowning in emotions she

couldn’t even name. Leslie was her answer. Leslie was everything.

“Leslie,” Dev groaned, dropping to her knees on the pine-needle-covered

ground. She pushed up Leslie’s sweater and kissed her stomach while she

fumbled at the button on Leslie’s jeans. She needed her. More than breath.

More than the beat of her own heart. She needed her.

Dazed, Leslie thrust the Þ ngers of both hands into Dev’s hair, her back bowed

off the bench, her head thrown back, her eyes nearly sightless as the inky sky

and silver moon raced overhead. Leslie clutched Dev, afraid she might

disintegrate and ß y into pieces like so many bits of stardust.

Dev groaned. “Les, I love—”

Mike’s voice roared out of the darkness. Jesus, what the fuck—

“Oh my God,” Leslie gasped. “No!”

Dev jerked as if she’d been shot. She raised her head, her vision as wavy as if

she’d been clubbed. It took her a second to realize where

• 126 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

she was, what she was doing. Leslie’s clothes were askew, her jeans unzipped,

and she had her hand inside them. The expression on Leslie’s face was

something very close to fear.

“Oh, Jesus,” Dev whispered.

Leslie shuddered, tears streaking her cheeks, staring at the shadows wavering

around them, half expecting Mike to drag Dev away from her again. Then the

dream trembled and broke and she knew where she was. What she’d done.

“Dev,” she murmured. “I can’t.”

“No, I know.” Breathless, Dev forced herself upright. Her stomach was a hard

ball of arousal, her legs shaking as if she’d run a marathon.

She curled her hands into Þ sts at her sides. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what

happened.” She took a step back, then another, then the darkness closed

around her.

“Dev,” Leslie called, but there was only the night.

v

Dev drove along Lakeshore Road for miles. This time, she was sober and

careful, but her mind and body still echoed with memories of Leslie. Like the Þ

rst time, but inÞ nitely more intense. She smelled her, tasted her on her lips, felt

her body along every inch of skin. Her stomach cramped with wanting. Her

hands trembled on the wheel.

“Oh Christ,” she groaned aloud. “Why can’t I get free of her?”

She didn’t expect an answer, because she knew there wasn’t one.

Because it wasn’t Leslie, not the woman she’d practically accosted an hour ago,

who haunted her. It was the girl she’d lost and never gotten over missing. It was

the dreams that had died and that she couldn’t let go of. It was something inside

of her that kept the memories alive, even though she’d thought she’d put them to

rest. She drove until fatigue replaced desire, at least for the moment.

By the time she pulled into the parking lot at Lakeview it was the middle of the

night. The lodge was dark. She took a small ß ashlight from her glove box and

used it to light her way through the woods to her cabin. She did not look toward

Leslie’s as she passed, although it took effort not to. When she turned onto the