She was never going to drink that much again. She was never going to let

anything like last night happen again. She was never going to let anyone kiss her

like that again.

She’d never let anyone close enough to get hurt by her mistakes.

She kept the shower on cold and stood shivering with her arms wrapped around

herself, hoping to drive out the sickness and the feel of Dev’s body and the heat

of her mouth and the terrible sound of someone’s heart breaking. When she Þ

nally felt like she could face her parents without them being suspicious of the

way she looked, she dried her hair and dressed and went downstairs.

“Hi, honey,” Eileen Harris said. “I’ve still got plenty of breakfast left. There’s OJ

in the refrigerator. You want pancakes?”

Wanting to clamp her hand over her mouth at the sudden surge of nausea, Leslie

turned quickly away and pretended to be looking out the

• 107 •

RADCLY fFE

window. “No thanks, not yet. I think I’ll just have a Pepsi and go down to the

boathouse. I want to make sure all the trash got bagged.”

“Pepsi in the morning? You should eat something.”

“I will. Later.” Leslie started toward the back door, wanting to get away before

her mother looked at her more closely.

“I’m so glad you had the party here,” Eileen said, carrying a stack of dishes to

the counter. She opened the dishwasher and began loading it. “And I’m glad

that your friends are all responsible. Thank God they’re all too sensible to ride

motorcycles.”

“What?” Leslie said, only half listening.

“Some local teenager had a terrible accident on a motorcycle last night.”

Leslie stopped, her hand on the doorknob. Her heart pounded furiously and the

queasy feeling in her stomach coalesced into a hard knot of dread. “Accident?”

“Mmm. Someone crashed their motorcycle on Lakeshore Road last night. Up

north from here a bit.” Eileen lifted two cast-iron skillets from the stove and

propped them up in the sink. “Your father heard something about it on the

news.”

Leslie managed to walk out the door and across the porch before she vomited

over the railing into the bushes. When she was done, she collapsed into one of

the chairs. She knew it was Dev. She just knew it.

Dev had been drinking, but not a lot. Dev was a good rider, but she was hurt.

And she must’ve been angry too. Angry with her, and with Mike.

Mike. Mike had left right after Dev. He’d been gone almost an hour. He wasn’t

angry when he came back. He would hardly talk to her, not that she wanted to

talk to him. And he was drinking a lot, even more than usual, off in a corner with

some of his friends.

She knew it last night, and she knew it now. Something bad had happened. She

should say something. She should tell her mother. She should tell someone that

it was all her fault.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been home for a while,” Leslie said.

After a moment’s silence, Eileen said, “I wish things were different now. What

with your father—”

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad I’m here.” Leslie took her mother’s hand.

“Now, about that truck.”

• 108 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

Eileen laughed weakly. “Your father will always be a Jeep man. If it’s anything

other than black or green, he won’t drive it.”

Leslie smiled. “God forbid we get him a yellow Hummer.”

“If you do end up getting one, we’ll pay you back. I’m just not sure when.”

“Mom, come on. I can afford it. It’s not a big deal.”

“All right,” Eileen said carefully. “Then if I can’t get you to agree to take money,

why don’t you tell me why you’re really here?”

“That’s blackmail.”

“Not when it’s your mother doing it.”

Leslie wanted to pace. She wanted to abort the conversation. She didn’t have

an answer, not one she was ready to share, especially not when her mother

already had her father to worry about. Not one she could even verbalize

completely to herself. She forced herself to sit still.

“I haven’t taken any real time off in years, and I was due for a vacation. When I

thought about getting away, the only place I thought about going was here.”

Leslie knew it was true. Maybe not all of the truth, but some of it. She met her

mother’s eyes, surprised by the uncritical welcome in them.

“It’s funny,” Eileen said quietly. “I had the feeling when you left for college that

you couldn’t wait to get away, and I’ve never understood why.”

“I guess it must have seemed that way. I’m sorry.”

That was as much of an answer as Leslie could give, because anything else

would demand far too much confession. She couldn’t explain about Dev and

Mike. She couldn’t say she’d needed to be somewhere else, be someone else.

That she’d needed to leave behind the person she couldn’t look at in the mirror,

to reinvent herself.

She’d done a good job of it. She was successful. She was respected by her

colleagues. She had a lover who was beautiful and smart. And yet here she was.

Leslie wondered why.

What came to mind was the way the lake gleamed in the dawn light, and the

crisp pine-scented air that blew through the windows of her cabin at night, and

the way Dev had gazed at her that morning—

as if she’d really seen her. She remembered asking Dev why she was being so

kind.

• 109 •

RADCLY fFE

Because I used to be in love with you.

Leslie shook her head. Past tense. Past dreams. Past mistakes. All behind her

now. And that was where she was determined it all would stay.

“I’m going down the street to the Starbucks for coffee. Want one?”

“Tea, I think. Thanks.”

“Be right back.” As soon as Leslie exited the hospital, she pressed Rachel’s cell

number on the speed dial. To her surprise, Rachel answered. “Hi, Rach, it’s

me.”

“Hello, darling. I’ve just got a minute, but I saw it was you and I was going to

call you anyhow. Can you get down to the city this weekend? There’s a

fundraiser Saturday night we should go to.”

“I can’t. My father’s had an accident—a broken leg. He’s in surgery right now.”

“Damn. I really need to put in an appearance at this thing.” There was silence for

a few seconds. “Maybe I can come up for a few hours on Sunday.”

“Thanks, but you don’t need to. I just can’t get away right now.”

“I’m so sorry, darling. Are you sure?”

“Yes. Really. There’s nothing to be done, but I can’t leave my mother with

everything at the lodge right now.”

Rachel’s tone was cautious. “I suppose that means you’ll be staying a bit

longer?”

“At least another week or so.” Leslie hesitated. “Maybe you can come up over

the Fourth of July recess.”

“I suppose that’s a possibility. Look, we’ll talk more later.”

“All right. Call me.”

“I will. Love you, darling. Bye.”

“Goodbye,” Leslie said, and slipped her BlackBerry into her purse. As she

stepped into line at the coffee counter, she tried to bring Rachel’s face into

focus. When she couldn’t, she told herself that was completely normal and

meant nothing. Then, for just a second, she had a crystal-clear image of Dev,

and the intensity in Dev’s eyes was so sharp she gasped.

“Help you, ma’am?”

Leslie jerked and stared at the young man behind the counter, thankful for the

diversion. “Yes. Large coffee. And a tea.”

• 110 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

“Sure. Anything else?”

A little dose of reality would be good, Leslie thought. She smiled faintly. “No.

Thanks. I’m Þ ne.”

She seemed to be saying that a lot lately, but she was starting to wonder. She

glanced at her watch. Unfortunately, she’d still have time for the tests she’d

scheduled. At least if she had them, she’d be one step closer to getting back to

Manhattan and getting her life back. That was reason enough to keep the

appointment.

• 111 •

• 112 •

WHEN DREAMS TREMBLE

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Dr. Weber?”

Dev glanced up from the microscope toward the young redhead who stood in

the doorway of her lab. “Hi, Susan. What’s up?”

“There’s a visitor downstairs for you. A Ms. Evans. Do you want me to bring

her up?”

“No, that’s okay. I’ll go down. Thanks.”

Dev stored the specimens she’d been examining in the refrigerator, tossed her

lab coat over a swivel chair behind her desk, and walked down the wide,

brightly lit hallway to the stairwell. Her summer ofÞ ce at the Marine Life

Institute was on the fourth ß oor, and it only took her a moment to reach the

atrium lobby. Floor-to-ceiling windows offered a picturesque view of the lake.

Natalie, looking fresh and relaxed in civilian clothes, stood gazing out. Her pale

yellow blouse and coffee-colored shorts complemented her subtle tan. She

turned and smiled at Dev’s approach.

“Am I interrupting?” Natalie asked.

“Nothing that won’t keep. Day off?”

Natalie nodded. “With the Fourth coming up in a little over a week, the holiday

visitors will arrive in force starting tomorrow. I can’t count on time off again for