I smile because I know exactly what it does to him, and he smiles back because he knows that I know.

“You drive me fucking crazy, you know that, right?” he asks, but it’s said with such reverence that I feel tears sting my eyes.

“I love you, too,” I whisper and he smiles down at me with this huge goofy grin.

“Don’t suppose you have a condom in here?”

“No. You don’t have any in your room?”

“Well, no, considering the one woman I want to bury myself deep inside rejected me. I haven’t needed to use one since …” he peters off, and I know we’re both thinking the same thing—the night he fucked Nicole. I wait for the anger and hurt that usually surfaces within me when I think of that night, but it doesn’t come.

“I’m on the pill.”

He narrows his eyes. “Since when?”

“Since Holly got pregnant, and no I’m not sleeping with anyone either. I just thought it would be a good idea in case what happened with Scott happens again. It’s one less thing to worry about.”

“It’s never gonna happen again, you hear me? I’m never gonna let you outta my sight,” he says with such vehemence that I feel my heart swell. “I should have been with you that night. I—” I place my hand over his mouth and he frowns down at me.

“I don’t want to talk about that,” I say and wait for him to nod before I take my hand away. “I don’t want to talk, I just want to feel you.”

“Yes ma’am.” He smiles and lowers himself over me again. Taking his cock in his hand, he glides it through my wetness from front to back. I’m almost giddy with anticipation, but a small part of me is scared shitless, too. I know that Elijah would rather die than hurt me and I trust him implicitly, I just have to learn to trust that I’m alright in his hands.

I feel him press against my opening and gently edge his way in. He can’t have gotten very far when I feel my muscles clench around him, tightening to prevent him from entering me. I’m catapulted back to that night in the cane field when Scott shoved his way inside me, when he brutalised me. I close my eyes, willing it away, wishing I could concentrate on the here and now, wishing there was some way to forget.

“Hey, you okay?” Elijah asks in a gentle voice that just about shatters me from the inside out. Tears roll down my cheeks and he kisses them away. “You need me to stop?”

I shake my head, even as my mind and body are both screaming for me to run. God, I’m such a fuck up. I’m much too psychologically damaged for someone like Elijah. He’s a man who clearly likes to fuck women and I’m a broken little girl who can’t even crawl outside of my own head long enough to allow myself this one shot at happiness.

“Ana, look at me,” he commands. “I love you, baby girl. So fucking much. It’s just you and me here, we got this, baby. If you tell me to stop, I stop. Anything you want, it’s yours. Just let me do this, let me take care of you and we’ll erase him together. We’ll erase every bad memory, every nightmare, every second you’ve thought about it since. We’ll do it together, okay?”

I swallow hard and nod my head. There’s no point searching for words because all my senses are jumbled up and I feel hurt and raw and I’m afraid if I open my mouth I’ll start bawling and I won’t stop, so instead I take a deep breath and relax my body enough to allow Elijah to push in a little further. He shifts his weight and snakes his hand between us, running his fingertips over my clit, coaxing me to open further for him. He slips the rest of the way inside, until I feel him hitting the end of me.

I’m not met with blinding pain like I expected to be. Instead I feel full to bursting, but I find I kind of like it. His fingers keep working against me and heat unfurls inside me, burning all the way from my toes to the roots of my hair.

I moan with the intense pleasure of it and then, when he starts to gently thrust inside me the pleasure intensifies, and I let myself get swept up in the delicious sensation of it all. “You’re so fucking perfect, Ana,” Elijah whispers in my ear as he moves into a steady rhythm inside me. “So tight and so fucking beautiful it hurts.”

The pressure builds within me to a point where it almost hurts to stave it off, but I don’t want to come without him, so I try my best to bring myself back down and into our own stratosphere. Elijah’s thrusting continues, harder, faster and I bite down hard on my lip; it hurts but it’s all I can do to keep from losing it.

“Don’t hold back, baby. Come for me, I wanna hear you scream my name as you squeeze my cock.” Seconds after he says this, I do. I let go of everything. Every hurt I ever caused him, of every time he made me cry, of everything that Scott did to me and everything that’s happened since. I let it go as I’m catapulted into sensation and I cry his name over and over as he pumps into me and my orgasm rocks through me from head to toe.

“Fucking incredible,” he whispers in my ear after giving me a second to bask in the afterglow, and then he shifts and places, his hands under my bottom, lifting me so that we’re both sitting upright, my legs wrapped around his waist. I grind my hips against his as he rocks into me.

“My turn,” he whispers as he tightens his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as he can. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and we rock into one another slowly, delighting in sensation and the unhurried heat of pleasure building inside. When I think he’s close I slip my hand between us and circle my fingers around my clit the way he does.

“Fuck that’s hot,” he pants.

I smile down at him, my body begging for release. Elijah pumps into me, once, twice and then we’re both crying out, getting lost in the pleasure and the sweetness of it all.

When we’re satiated and spent he falls back on the bed and takes me with him. We lie there for a moment, luxuriating in the warmth of each other. He traces a finger up my spine and I shiver and then he grasps the nape of my neck and forces my mouth down to his. That one kiss contains more heat and desire than any we’ve ever had because for once, it doesn’t symbolise the end.

It’s a beginning.

And a damn good one, too.

Acknowledgements

There are so many people to thank when it comes to bringing a book baby to life, but at the risk of sounding like an Oscar winner blubbering their way through their acceptance speech, I’d like to take a minute to thank the incredible people in my life that helped make this book a reality.

To my darling Ben, who supports and loves unconditionally. Who puts up with a partner who spends more time inside her own head than she does in real life—without compliant—I love you more than you could ever comprehend! Thanks for being an amazing partner, an even more incredible father, a freaking awesome (first) cover/web/swag/blog designer, a sounding board, a saviour, a warrior and my best friend. The ideas man reigns supreme!

To my babies Ava and Ari, I love you like crazy! Thanks for sharing mummy with the voices in her head. I hope when you grow up you’re lucky enough to have a job you love as much as I do mine, and above all I hope you never stop dreaming.

To my niece, Zӧe Jean—my Ana. Thank you for agreeing to let me plaster your beautiful face all over Sugartown. You went above and beyond for our photo shoot and I’m so incredibly grateful. You’re not only beautiful, but your grace, humility and humour make you an incredible young woman, and I couldn’t be more proud.

To my mum for being the most amazing woman I know … Thank you!

My family and friends, thank you for understanding that writing a book isn’t just about stringing together a few pretty sentences, it’s spilling your blood and guts all over the page and rolling around in it for months, sometimes years, on end! Now you know why I’m so bloody crazy.

To Lauren K McKellar—the greatest editor in all the land—thank you! I gave you a very messy manuscript and you made it sparkle like a diamond! Yes, exclamation points and all!!

Heartfelt thanks to my amazing beta readers: Ali Hymer from Ginger-read Reviews, Debbie from Talk Supe and Keep Calm Read Romance, and author Emma Silver. I adore each and every one of you! Thank you for loving these crazy kids as much as I do, for championing and swooning—Ali, you’re messed up, but I wouldn’t have you any other way ;)—right alongside me, for creating teasers, leaving AMAZING early reviews and helping to spread the word of Sugartown.

Ali, thank you for cyber bitch-slapping me when I’m freaking out—which, let’s face it, happens a lot—for encouraging, and for just plain getting me. I don’t know what cruel fate, soulless entity or cataclysmic events decided/lead to us living on opposite sides of the world, but I am a better author, person and friend for knowing you!

To my motorcycle expert Steve Streater for going above and beyond for a little Aussie author who previously knew NOTHING about motorcycles. Thank you for finding a bike big enough to carry Elijah that still managed to be sexy, mysterious and a little bit run down—just like its owner. You were so kind and extremely generous with your time, and all for a complete stranger! Any mistakes in this area are my fault alone.

Thank you to Frankie Rose for your friendship, advice and mad formatting/cover designer skills. C.J Duggan, Annie Walls, Belle Aurora, Lola Stark, Bella Jewel, Megan Keith, Rebecca Berto, Jessica Roscoe, Jo-Anne McLeary, Simone Nicole, Lila Rose, and all the amazingly supportive authors and bloggers of the Aussie/NZ Authors/Bloggers fb group, thank you.

A massive THANK YOU to my wonderful Street Team, The Sugar Junkies, and my lovely blogging buddies, you know who you are, and to everyone who has shared, blogged about, squeeeeed, added, and requested ARCs of Welcome to Sugartown. I’m indebted to all of you!