My mind instantly wandered.


“Grams?”

“What baby girl?” Grams always looked so pretty in her yellow apron covered in white daises.

“Can I help with dishes?” I really want to help. “I know I’m little, but Mommy says I’m a good helper.”

“Of course. Go pull the chair to the sink and roll up your sleeves.”

I jumped happily. I loved helping Grams do everything. Running over, I did exactly as she said. “Ready!”

“Well, get busy washing, I don’t pay you to sit around all day.” She smiled at me. I knew she was joking with me. That was what Grams did—she made me smile.


“Hey Grams, you need help with the dishes?” I asked, trying to contain my laugh.

Grams knew exactly what I was remembering. She was one sharp tool. “After we eat. Sit.”

Sitting down at the old wooden table, I thought of all the meals we had here on Sundays before we left. There toward the end, my mom stopped coming, but I was always here.

“Tell me how your writing thing is going,” Grams said while putting way too much food on my plate.

“Grams, I can’t eat two sandwiches. Let’s just do one.” I smirked. “Writing is going great. I never thought my books would take off the way they have.”

“I’m glad you send them to me. I love reading them. The ladies in my bunko group have been passing them around. You are the talk … well, Gabriella Daniels is.” I blushed. I knew it was hard for Grams not to tell her friends the books were written by me. She was proud and wanted to let everyone know, but I couldn’t risk it. I didn’t want the world to know.

“I know it’s hard, Grams, but thanks for keeping our secret. I can’t believe your friends are reading them.” I laughed. It was awesome and weird to think of all these older women reading about sex, toys, and threesomes.

“Girl, you should hear some of those women talk. Those books have opened their eyes to lots of new things.” Grams winked.

“I don’t want to hear about your friends’ sexual encounters, but thanks.” I rolled my eyes, huffing out a breath.

“Oh come on, it could be your new book, writing for the older crowd.”

“Maybe.” I looked down at my food.

“I’m just kidding. We like reading about those hunky guys with their built bodies. Mmmm.”

“Grams, did you just lick your lips?” I asked in shock.

“Hell yeah. It’s been a long time since Papa left here, not to say that I’d ever cheat on him. Your books allow my mind to innocently roam.”

Grams very strongly believed in marriage and would consider even looking at another man cheating, even though Papa had been gone for years. I admired that about her, and I felt sad for her at the same time. I didn’t want her to be alone. Life was so short and I wanted her to be happy. She deserved it.

“Glad to help,” I mumbled.

“So, tell me how your mom’s doing.” Grams sighed. I knew she didn’t like hearing about the messes my mom had gotten herself into. Mom thought moving to California would help her get over the torture my father put her through, but it didn’t turn out as she planned.

“She’s still drinking a lot, and smoking, too. She tells me that she has been taking her meds, but I don’t know for sure.”

“I thought your aunt Tennie was taking care of her,” Grams huffed.

“I did, too.”

“What else? You’re hiding something from me.” I knew I couldn’t school my face to fool her, but I tried.

Blowing out a deep breath, I let it rip. “I guess Aunt Tennie goes out partying with her. They are living it up together … or so Mom says.”

“Great, now I have two drunks for daughters who don’t bother to call me.”

“I’m sorry, Grams.” I knew it hurt that her only two daughters never contacted her, but that was what happened when you told one that she was a drunk and needed to lay off the booze and the other that she needed to stand up to her cheating ass husband. Even though what Grams said was true, they didn’t take to kindly to it.

“Don’t be sorry, you and Keith are the only normal ones in this family. I don’t know what I am going to do with those girls.” Grams shook her head in disgust.

“How’s Uncle Keith doing?”

A huge smile formed on Grams lips. “He’s great. The whole family is. You need to meet up with your cousins; they won’t even recognize you. I doubt Keith or Mary will either.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, Grams. You know I didn’t want to go, but I’m glad I did. I needed to get away from the gossip in this town and just grow up.”

“I know, dear. It was just hard when your mother uprooted you like that. I wasn’t ready.”

I grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, trying to reassure her.

“I’m gonna set up a dinner. You’re coming, and I’ll invite all of Keith’s crew so you can get reacquainted with them.”

“Sounds great, Grams.”

“I can’t wait!” The excitement in her voice filled me with such happiness. I missed her so much.

“Let’s get these dishes done.” Even though I didn’t need the chair anymore, I thought about bringing it with me, but when Grams turned and smiled at me I knew she was thinking of the same memories. I loved this.

After finishing the last dish, I knew it was time to face another memory. “I’m gonna head out. The girls are taking me out tonight, so I need to get myself ready.”

“I wish I could be there to see all those faces when you walk in. You have grown into such a beautiful woman. You have fun, baby girl.”

“I will. I love you.” I wrapped my arms around her tiny body, crushing her to me without hurting her.

“I love you, too. I’ll call you about dinner.”

“Great. I’ll be here. I missed you, Grams.”

“Me, too.”

Driving back from Grams’s, I couldn’t help but avoid the direct route. It had been five long years. I still held a bit of anger toward my mom for making me leave the way she did all those years ago.


“Savannah Marie Kelly, get your shit together. Now.” My mom’s slur of words—no doubt having to do with the bottle of vodka she’d just drowned herself in—flowed ferociously out of her mouth. I knew she drank, but tonight had been exceptionally more than I’d seen in the past. I prayed this was one of her drunken stupors, and it would all be over in the morning.

“Mom, go lie down, turn on your shows, and I’ll bring you some coffee.”

“No. We are leaving this hellhole tonight. Whatever you don’t pack now, you will never have again, so I suggest you get your shit together.”

“I know you’re hurting. Let’s get one of the pills the doctor gave you and just take a rest. When you wake up, we’ll talk about this.” I was trying my damnedest to stay calm and not totally freak. I knew that would send her over the edge.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t been here numerous times. Ever since my dad took off with his whore, my mom had been a total mess. I finally talked her into seeing a doctor, but she preferred to cope with her alcohol more. She said the doctor didn’t do anything but sit and listen to her babble, but didn’t give her any advice or solutions on solving the gaping hole in her heart. The doc wanted her to figure it out.

I wanted to go in there and yell at the dumbass. If my mom could figure this shit out on her own, I wouldn’t have been pushing her to go and talk to the doc in the first place. So, I can’t really blame my mom for not wanting to keep going back, but thankfully, so far, she continued to go.

“I’m not going to bed or taking one of those damn pills. You just want to drug me and knock me out!” Mom’s screeching voice mixed with her slurring was giving me a headache.

“I just want you to calm down …” And stop destroying my entire life from your rampages.

Mom turned and marched into her bedroom. Between her yelling, I could hear things getting thrown around. This again was nothing new. Her temper was another one of those great things that happened after my dad left. Mom couldn’t seem to rein it in. She just exploded without thinking twice.

BAM … BAM …

Jumping off my bed, I flew to the door and opened it. “Mom, calm down.”

Mom peered into my room. “You’re not packing. Why aren’t you packing? Do you want to leave everything behind?”

“Mom, please. We can’t leave. It’s my senior year. I want to be with my friends, and I can’t leave Deke. I know what Dad did was horrible, but we can’t let him do this to us.”

Mom’s face grew furious. “You. You. You. It’s always about you. What about me? Huh? I have to live in this damn town with your dad parading his floozy on his arm. I have stay here listening to all the rumors about him getting remarried and the ‘poor Annabelle’ lines. Well, I’m sick of it, and I’m not doing it another day. We are getting the hell out of here first thing in the morning.”

Annabelle Kelly had never been one to be pushed around, even when Dad was here. She always had the upper hand in everything. That was just how it was. Now that Dad was gone, she did everything she could to keep that upper hand.

“Mom, I know this is hard. It’s hard for me to see them together, too. I hate it, but we can’t let him ruin our lives anymore.”

“That’s what we are doing, Savannah. We are getting the hell out of here and taking back our lives.” It doesn’t get past me that her voice is much clearer than it was a couple of hours ago. She must be burning off the alcohol in record speed.

“Mom, where are we going to go?”