Ryan pushed out of the chair, grasped her by the shoulders. “Don’t. Don’t close in on me right now. Stay with me.”

“No. You’re wrong. There’s a different explanation. There has to be.”

“Babe—”

“Why? He did this to me on purpose?” How could the man she’d loved, had lived with for over a year, had trusted with her son…how could he intentionally have done something to hurt her?

“We don’t know that. This doesn’t make sense to me, either, but we’ll figure it out.” He pulled her into the warmth of his arms before she could back away.

She let him hold her, but she couldn’t take her eyes off the screen. Off Jake’s face looking back at her. Memories of their life together flashed in front of her eyes—Jake holding Reed at a backyard barbecue, dancing at a hospital fundraiser together, making love with him in their bed. A shudder ran through her, and she tried to wiggle away, but Ryan held her tight.

“You’re okay,” he said quietly. “I’ve got you.” She struggled but didn’t have the energy to fight him when he tightened his hold. Finally, she sank into him while emotions poured through her. How could she have been so wrong? How could she have not seen what Jake was underneath? Had she been blind? Or had she just not wanted to look close enough?

Ryan smoothed a hand over her hair, his lips whispered reassurances in her ear. But his earlier words echoed in her mind.

“You…you said his name was McKellen.”

He didn’t loosen his grasp. “Yeah. Jacob McKellen. His family’s owned and operated McKellen Publishing for years.”

Her shoulders slumped. Bile rose in her throat. “He…he said he never wanted me to work, but he didn’t object to my freelancing. He knew at some point I’d end up working for McKellen Publishing.”

“I thought of that. I don’t want you going to work tomorrow.”

“Ryan—”

“No, listen to me.” He pushed back to look down at her, his fingers gripping her shoulders with intent and compassion. “This is bigger than we thought. Millions of dollars were dumped into Tabofren. People were pissed when it was pulled. Your chart shows it was administered long after the FDA yanked the plug. Someone was testing it, either because they had a buyer, or they were trying to get around the FDA. Either way, your snooping around won’t sit well with whoever was behind this.”

She didn’t like what he was implying. “I thought Jake was behind this.”

“I don’t think he did this alone. I don’t think he could have. People at the nursing home knew. Someone at the publishing house knew.”

His words settled in the air between them. A clock ticked on the wall across the room. “Did you know him?” she asked quietly.

His eyes held hers, but she couldn’t read his thoughts. “I met him a few times. I didn’t know him well.”

Her eyes fell closed. They’d met. They’d talked. Her being with Jake wasn’t a coincidence.

He tightened his grip on her shoulders. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, but I need you to be careful. Your face is going to be all over the papers. People will know you aren’t dead.”

One more thing to worry about. “I…I hadn’t thought of that.”

“I want you to see a doctor. Tomorrow.”

She swiped at her cheeks. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t argue with me on this.” The tone of his voice told her not to even try. “Tabofren was never tested long-term. We don’t know what the long-range effects could be.”

“I had a CT scan just before Jake died. It came back normal.”

“It was done by the doctor in Houston who disappeared, right?”

“Yes.” Her stomach rolled all over again. “You don’t think he’s involved too, do you?”

“I don’t know. But we need to be cautious. We’re not taking any chances here.”

“Oh, God,” she muttered again, sinking back into him. It was getting worse. Every new clue, every bit of information made her question just what she’d gotten herself into. What she’d gotten Reed into. What she’d dragged Ryan and Julia into.

He wrapped his arms around her and rested his cheek against her hair. Warmth, safety, strength cocooned her. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

Held tight against him, she wanted to forget everything they’d found, to cling to the lifeline that had become his body, to believe his words. His scent wafted in the air, brought a familiar sense of déjà vu. Closing her eyes, she turned her cheek against his chest and held him right back.

The rhythmic thumping of his heart reminded her she was alive. And in the silence, she could almost imagine what life with him had once been like. What he’d been like before…before losing Annie. Happy. Whole. A man who would move heaven and earth for the woman he loved.

But this wasn’t then. Neither of them were the same people they’d once been. And even though she wanted to lean on him and let him be her rock, there was still so much she didn’t know. About what had happened to her. About him. About how all of this—him included—was connected.

The truth would set her free. She couldn’t let this break her. She wouldn’t. She’d already come so far. The only thing she could do now was search for the answers she knew were out there.

And deal with the fallout when it happened.

* * *

“This cluster fuck just gets bigger and bigger.” Mitch stood at the wet bar in Ryan’s office and tugged a hand through his hair.

“Tell me about it.” Ryan poured soda into a glass and glanced across the room at Annie and Simone, both of whom were sitting on the floor near the windows, quietly talking. Annie had put on a good face when Simone and Mitch had shown up, but he didn’t miss the way her hand trembled whenever she reached for her glass of wine or picked at the Chinese food they’d brought back. “She won’t come back to my place tonight, she’s too damn stubborn, but I don’t want her alone all the way out at that beach house.”

“You really think someone would go after her?”

“Thanks to that press conference today, her face has been plastered all over the media. She’s been snooping around that nursing home for weeks. Someone saw her and wouldn’t let her in. They know she’s looking for answers.” He glanced over at her again. “She’s been through enough, and I didn’t want to worry her, but I didn’t tell her everything.”

“Why doesn’t that statement leave me feeling all tingly inside?”

Ryan turned so the girls couldn’t hear him. “Jacob McKellen was pissed when Tabofren was pulled. He’d invested a good chunk of his own money into the R&D. He showed up here and about took my head off when he found out we decided to bag it. Told me he’d find a way to get it approved with or without my help. I brushed him off. Mitch” —he leaned forward— “two weeks later, Annie was gone.”

“Oh, shit.”

“It gets worse. I heard through the grapevine a few years ago that there were some clinical studies of a drug similar to Tabofren going on in Canada. They don’t have a watchdog group like the FDA up there. It’s easier to get government approval there, and when a company has the data, it’s easy to slip it in under the radar here in the US if you know the system. If a company can prove the drug is safe and works, the FDA will open it up for consideration.”

“You think he was testing it on his own?”

Sickness and a good dose of guilt swept through Ryan. “I don’t know. But that’s my hunch. I think he was using the nursing home as his test facility, then exporting the data to a Canadian company. We need to find the nurse who’s listed in Annie’s chart—”

“Kate’s chart,” Mitch cut in.

“Yeah,” Ryan said quickly. “Maybe she knows who McKellen was working with on this.”

“You two done whispering?” Simone set her wineglass on the bar and popped the cork out of the half-empty bottle of Merlot. One glance told Ryan Annie had stepped out of the room.

“We’re just bragging about our sex lives.” Mitch winked her way. “I got Ryan beat.”

Simone refilled her glass, slanted him a look. “Two middle-aged men talking about their conquests. There’s a shocker. Ryan, your company doesn’t happen to sell any of those nifty erectile dysfunction drugs, do they?”

“No, sorry. I can set you up with someone who does, though, if you’re in need.”

Simone shot Mitch a wicked grin. “There’s this guy who’s been trying to get me to go out with him. But I’m a little worried about his staying ability.”

“You’re both hilarious,” Mitch cut in. “And, sweetheart, anytime you want to go for a test drive, just let me know.”

Simone laughed, the sound easing the knot in Ryan’s chest, if even for a moment. “I’m pretty sure that’ll never happen. But I am glad to see you two are on speaking terms again.”

“Ryan can’t stay mad at me,” Mitch said. “I’m the only friend he’s got.”

“Yeah, like that’s true.” Ryan turned his attention toward Simone. “Any chance you can swing staying at Annie’s tonight?”

“You mean Kate’s?” Her gaze cut to Mitch.

“Yeah. I don’t want her out there all by herself.”

“I have Shannon. She’s with a sitter at home. Kate and Reed could come to our house, I guess.”

Annie reemerged from the bathroom, and they all fell silent.

“Quick,” she said stepping up to them at the bar, working for a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Change the subject. She’s back in the room.”

Mitch draped his arm around Annie’s shoulder, the move so casual, so comfortable, Ryan ached to be able to do the same. “So far we’ve covered sex and drugs. Rock-n-roll’s the next topic on the list. Pick a group.”

A grin spread across her face. One that tightened Ryan’s chest. He’d missed that and so much more these last five years.