“Let me go, Jonathan. I have to get back to the house.”
“You’ll talk to me first.”
“What about?”
“About everything… this situation into which you have thrust me.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
His mouth was on mine. No, I thought. I must get away. I am afraid of him.
“You married my brother.”
“Is that surprising? It was expected, and besides, I wanted to.”
“You wanted me.”
“No. You asked me, remember, and I refused.”
“It was not meant to be a refusal.”
“I am in the habit of saying what I mean.”
“Not always,” he contradicted. “Do you think I don’t know? You are shaking now.”
“Because you are behaving in a ridiculous manner. I don’t like it and I want to go in.”
“There speaks the virtuous matron.”
“That is what I am and what I intend to remain.”
“Do you really believe you will?”
“Jonathan, I am going in!”
“Not yet. Why did you marry my brother? Why did you do this?”
“Because I love him and wanted him for my husband.”
“You love him! What do you know of love?”
“A great deal more than you do, I imagine.”
“There are many sides to love, Claudine. You need all of them. My brother knows more about the Greek philosophers than of love.”
“I believe they professed to know a great deal about it.”
He laughed suddenly. “Claudine,” he said. “I don’t give up, you know.”
I shrugged my shoulders; he caught them in his hands and shook me.
“Do you think I’ll let you go because of a mere marriage?”
“The adjective is most inappropriate. You are letting alliteration run away with common sense.”
He laughed and said: “Claudine, it’s good to be with you. What I wanted more than anything during those hideous months was to be with you. When I was lying in the grass at night with the stars overhead and the knowledge that the next day could be my last, I thought of you there with me, talking to me, making me laugh, and… making love together, Claudine.”
“And with the girl in the wine shop?”
“Ah, you remember her! I saw your eyes glint when I was telling you about her. I knew what you were thinking. I was only able to tolerate her because in my thoughts I substituted you for her. That’s how I feel about you. You are my Claudine. You always were since the day you came to Eversleigh… with your French clothes and your French manners and your amusing way with our language. I loved you even then. And now you are a respectable English matron, I love you even more. It grows every day and you cannot expect me to stand aside and say, ‘It is over. She is now the wife of my brother. Adieu, sweet Claudine, you are not for me.’ You are for me, Claudine. You are… and nobody is going to stop us.”
“It takes two to come to such a decision.”
“And when two are of the same mind it is inevitable.”
“If they were, I suppose it would be. But in this case they most decidedly are not. I think you are despicable to make these suggestions to your brother’s wife. How dare you talk about making love… if you call that diatribe love.”
“It is not making love. It is the prelude to making love. If we can’t make love within the sanctity of the church, we will do so outside it.”
“What if I were to tell my mother what you have said to me tonight?”
“She would tell my father.”
“He would be furious with you.”
“On the other hand he would merely laugh. He would say, ‘Let them work it out among themselves.’ My father is very wise and experienced in these matters.”
“And David… what if I were to tell him?”
“Ah, David, what would he say? There is bound to be a precedent for such an occurrence among the Greeks, the Romans, or the ancient Egyptians. He would consult his oracles and they would tell him what should be done.”
“Jonathan, you must forget all this. Marry. Settle down. You are more often in London than here.”
“I shall be where you are.”
“You did not think that when you lightheartedly joined the expedition to France, and just left without telling us.”
He drew me to him and held me against him. “I had to go, Claudine. It was very necessary that I go. And I had to go secretly.”
“Without telling your father even! You just walked out.”
“My father knew.”
“But he was surprised.”
“Things are not always what they seem,” he said, shrugging his shoulders, and I thought: It is the secret matters in which they are involved… Jonathan with his father. They combine spying for their country with their business affairs. Jonathan is with his father in this. I am glad David is outside it.
“Tomorrow I leave for London,” he said.
“So you are going with your father and my mother?”
He nodded.
“Secret business?” I asked.
He did not answer. “I shall be back soon,” he said, “and then…”
“Nothing will have changed here.”
“It doesn’t need to. It will be as it is now.”
“Then…”
“You want me as I want you, and I shall see that something is done about it.”
For a few seconds he held me pressed against him; he kissed me fervently on my lips and throat. I allowed myself to stay with him… just for those few seconds. I knew he was right. I had never been aware of this ecstatic emotion with David.
Then I wrenched myself away and hurried into the house. He did not follow me, but I heard his low, triumphant laughter behind me.
As soon as it was light next morning, Dickon, my mother and Jonathan left for London.
Jeanne came to my room and said that she and Sophie were going to see the house again and she wondered whether I meant I should like to accompany them.
I said I should like to and within half an hour we were walking round by the road to Enderby. It was a little longer that way, but there had been a heavy downpour and it was too wet to go across the fields as we had on the previous day.
The house looked different again in the morning light. What a strange place it was! I had to admit that in spite of the fact that it appeared menacing, it attracted me, and I was as eager to open the door and go inside as the other two were.
Sophie said: “What I like about it is that it is apart. One would not feel overlooked here.”
No, I thought, except by ghosts and spirits.
We were in the hall and the atmosphere closed round me. It was like tentacles drawing me in and holding me fast.
“This hall is really quite magnificent,” I said. “Do you propose to hold dances here, Aunt Sophie? I can picture it with the minstrels playing in the gallery.”
“No. I don’t propose to entertain a great deal. But I like the hall, all the same. There is a sense of grandeur and yet it is simple in a way.”
Simple? Yes, I supposed it was, compared with the château in which she had spent her childhood.
“Think of all the bedrooms,” I said. “There are twenty of them. And then there are the servants’ quarters at the top of the house.”
“We shall need a few servants,” said Sophie. “Your mother will help us engage them. It may be a little difficult for us… because of the language.”
“I am sure she will be delighted to help. And if there is anything I can do, Aunt Sophie, you know I shall be only too happy.”
“Thank you, Claudine. You’re a good girl. Oh, there will be so much to do. I want to go upstairs. Come on, Jeanne. I can’t wait.”
I followed them up. I noticed the carved banisters and the elegantly moulded ceilings. Once it had been a beautiful house. Would it be so again with Sophie there? No, she was not what it needed. Again I thought this house is crying out for a big and joyous family to laugh and frolic and believe so fervently in the goodness of the world that they drive away all the morbid brooding ghosts.
Sophie would not do that.
I wondered what good, practical Jeanne thought of the project.
I had an opportunity to ask her while Sophie was in one of the bedrooms and I found myself in the corridor alone with her.
I said to her: “My aunt can’t be serious about buying this house.”
“But she is,” said Jeanne.
“You must dissuade her. You must see how unsuitable it is.”
“No,” she said. “I think it is suitable. Have you seen how happy she is? There will be so much to do. It will take a very long time. I have always sought ways of bringing her alive to the world, of making her feel interested… excited even. Putting this house to rights will take a very long time. There will be work to be done, people to see, fabrics to be chosen. I plan to work on it room by room. It will take us several years. As soon as we came into the house I saw how it affected her and I knew it was what I had been looking for.”
I was amazed, but I saw at once that Jeanne, with her usual practical outlook, was right. Sophie needed Enderby. Its very gloom appealed to her. She would not have wanted a house that was full of sunshine and ready for habitation. She liked its gloomy atmosphere, which matched her own, and the prospect of all the work which must be done made it very desirable in Jeanne’s eyes.
“Jeanne!” Sophie was calling to her.
Jeanne smiled at me and immediately went to her mistress. They were in the main bedroom and Sophie was standing by the four-poster bed.
“Just look at this beautiful carving.”
Jeanne said: “It is exquisite. And the furniture is included in the cost of the house.”
“It is a bargain.”
“It does show how eager the owner is to get rid of it,” I reminded them.
“What colour curtains, Jeanne?” asked Sophie; and I had never before seen her so animated.
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