Нора Робертс - Vision in White

She understood dynamics and personalities, how they formed and re-formed images. Here was tradition for them, conversation over a Sunday family dinner, bits and pieces of their lives passed around like the mashed potatoes.

She was the X factor. The outside element that—at least for the moment—altered the image.

“Weekends must be your busiest time,” Pam commented.

“Generally. We do a lot of weekday evening events.”

“A lot of work during the week, too,” Carter pointed out.

“All the planning. It’s not just showing up with a camera. Then there’s after the event. I’ve seen a couple of the packages, the albums Mackensie’s done. They’re works of art.”

“Everything’s digital now.” Diane shrugged, poked at her chicken.

“Primarily. I still work with film now and then. This is a wonderful meal, Mrs. Elliot. You must love to cook.”

“I like the production and drama of big meals. And it’s Pam. I also like the idea of four women, four friends, forming and running a business together. Running your own company takes a lot of stamina, a lot of dedication, along with the creativity.”

“But it’s such a happy business,” Sherry put in. “It’s like an endless celebration. Flowers and beautiful dresses, music, champagne.”

“Weddings keep getting more elaborate. All that time, that stress, that expense, for one day.” Diane lifted a shoulder even as her mouth turned down in a frown. “People more worried about who sits where or what color ribbon to use than what marriage means. And the people getting married are so tired and stressed from all of that the day’s just a blur anyway.”

“You had your day, Di.” A little fire burned in Sherry’s eyes.

“I’m having mine.”

“And all I’m saying is that by the time I got to the altar I was so worn out I can barely remember saying I do.”

“You said it.” Her husband smiled at her. “And looked beautiful when you did.”

“Be that as it may—”

“You’re absolutely right,” Mac cut in. “It can be exhausting. And what should be the most vivid and important day of your life to that point can become anticlimactic, even tedious. That’s what we’re there to prevent. Believe me, if you’d had my partners when you were planning your wedding, the day wouldn’t have been a blur.”

“I don’t mean to be critical, really, of what you do. I’m just saying that if the people involved didn’t feel obliged to put on such a production, well, they wouldn’t need companies like yours to handle everything.”

“Probably true,” Mac said easily. “Still, a bride’s going to stress and worry, even obsess, but she can leave the details to us. As many as she feels comfortable with. She—sorry, Nick,” she added with a smile. “She’s the focus of the day, and for us, she’s the focus for months leading up to that day. It’s what we do.”

“I’m sure you’re very good. In fact, everything I’ve heard about you and your company indicates you are. I just think simple is better.”

“It’s all a matter of taste and individuality, isn’t it?” Pam reached for the basket of dinner rolls. “More bread?”

“And I don’t want simple. I want fun.”

“We’ve got it.” Mac sent Sherry a quick grin. “But simple can be better, depending on that taste and individuality. Even simple takes an eye for detail. We did a small, simple wedding today. Late morning ceremony. The bride’s sister was her only attendant. She carried a small, hand-tied bouquet and wore flowers in her hair instead of a veil. We had a champagne brunch after and a jazz trio for dancing. It was lovely. She looked radiant. And I’d estimate Vows put about a hundred and fifty hours in, to make sure it was perfect for her. I’m pretty sure she’ll remember every moment of it.”

WHEN THE EVENING WAS DONE, AND THEY WENT TO CARTER’S, he waited until they were inside and hugged her. “Thanks. I imagine it’s nerve-wracking to meet a horde like that—and to get the third degree.”

“Let me just say: Whew. Do you think I passed the audition?”

“Definitely.”

She bent down to pet the cat who came to greet them. “You have a very nice family. I figured you would. You love each other. It shows.”

“We do. Should I apologize for Diane? She likes to pull off the silver lining to find the clouds inside.”

“No. I get her, because I often do the same. I just internalize it more. I liked them, even her. They’re all so normal. It gives me family envy.”

“You can share mine. And I wish I could say that without putting that look in your eyes.”

“So do I. It’s my fatal flaw, not yours.”

“That’s bullshit.”

Her jaw dropped. He rarely swore. “It’s—”

“You don’t have any fatal flaw. What you have is an ingrained habit of looking at marriage, for yourself, from one angle only. And from that angle all you see is failure.”

“That may be true, it’s probably true. But I’ve shifted that angle more for you, with you, than I have with anyone. I don’t know if I’m capable of more.”

“I’m not going to push you, but I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about it. That I haven’t thought about making a life with you. It’s difficult to look inside myself and know, without a single reservation, that’s what I want. And to look at you, and know it’s not what you think you can have.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t know if you can understand I’m more afraid of that than being hurt myself.”

“I don’t need your protection.” He reached out, tapped the dangle of diamonds she wore. “You thought when I gave you these there might be an engagement ring in that box. You looked stricken.”

“Carter—”

“What would you have said, I wonder, if there had been? I’m not asking. We’ll call it a rhetorical question. I’ll make you a promise right here and now, which may put your mind at ease. There won’t be a ring or a question until you ask for them.”

“You’re too good for me.”

“I’m forced to repeat myself. That’s bullshit.”

“It’s not. And I actually think quite a bit of myself. What I should be, Carter, is on my knees asking you if you’d have me. And I can’t get it out. It’s stuck. It’s stuck right here.” She pressed her fist to her chest. “And every time it starts to loosen, just a little, something slams it back down. You’re so much better than I deserve.”

“Don’t do that to me.” He took her by the shoulders. “Don’t put me somewhere I don’t want to be.”

“I don’t know what I’d have said if there’d been a ring in that box. And that scares me. I don’t know, and I can’t see if whatever I’d have said would’ve been the right thing or the wrong thing for both of us. I have to see. I know the angle’s wrong. More, the lens is defective, and I

know it.”

She stepped back from him. “I want to change it, and that’s a first.”

“That’s a start. I’ll settle for that, for now.”

“You shouldn’t settle for anything. That’s my point.”

“Don’t tell me what to do, or who to love. You’re the one. You’re going to be the one tomorrow, and fifty years from tomorrow.”

“I’ve never been the one. Not for anybody.”

He closed the distance between them. “You’ll get used to it.” He tipped her face up to his, kissed her.

“Why? Why am I the one?”

“Because my life opened up, and it flooded with color when you walked back into it.”

She wrapped her arms tight around him, pressed her face to his shoulder as emotion swamped her. “If you asked, I couldn’t say no.”

“That’s not good enough, for either of us. When I ask, you need to want to say yes.”

MAC HEARD THE THUMP, THE HISS OF BREATH, AND OPENED one eye. Snuggled in bed, she watched Carter hobble over to get his shoes.

“What time is it?”

“Early. Go back to sleep. I managed to get up, shower, and nearly get dressed before I ran into something and woke you up.”

“It’s all right. I should get up, get an early start anyway.” Her eyes drooped closed again.

Carrying his shoes—and limping only a little—he walked over to kiss the top of her head. She made a murmuring sound of pleasure, and dropped back into sleep.

By the time she surfaced, the sun was beaming in.

Not such an early start after all, she mused as she rolled out of bed. Still, one of the perks of running your own business—and having no morning appointments—was sleeping in a little. She started for the bathroom, then shook her head and went back to make the bed.

It was the new Mac, she reminded herself. The tidy and organized in all areas of her personal and professional lives Mackensie Elliot. The Mac with the new, fabulously designed closet where everything had its place—and was in it.

She fluffed the pillows, smoothed the sheets, spread the duvet neatly. See, she told herself as she did every morning, it only took two minutes. With a nod of satisfaction, she surveyed her room.

No clothes tossed anywhere, no shoes kicked under a chair, no jewelry carelessly scattered on the dresser. This was the room of a grown-up, a woman of taste—and a woman in control.

She showered, then reminded herself to hang up the towel. In the bedroom she gave herself the pleasure of opening her closet and just standing there, looking at it.

“That’s what I’m talking about.”

Her clothes hung in precise lines, according to function and color. Every pair of her impressive collection of shoes nestled inside its clear protective box, in stacks of type. Evening shoes, daywear, sandals, boots—pumps, peeps, spikes, wedges.

Things of beauty.

Handbags, again by function and color, sat easily accessed in generous cubbies. Inside the glossy white drawers of the built-ins lived scarves—once doomed to tangled knots or jumbled piles, neatly folded, as did her dressier sweaters, her hosiery.