There was another trial out of which Dilke came badly, for the jury decided that Mrs. Crawford had been telling the truth.

That was the end of Dilke.

I could not help experiencing a certain satisfaction. He had called himself a reformer. Let him begin by reforming his own life.

I thought about him a great deal and I began to feel a twinge of pity for him; and he had posed as such a virtuous man, which made it all the worse for him. I wondered how an ambitious man felt to see his career in ruins.

I should rejoice. Another of my enemies brought to the dust. I did really feel a little suspicious after that of people who acclaimed so publicly their desire to do good.

That set me thinking of Mr. Gladstone and his nightly peregrinations. Was that one of the reasons why I disliked him so intensely?

At least it made him a little human.

No, I could not—much as I should like to—believe that Mr. Gladstone was such another as Sir Charles Dilke.

The Dilke affair added to the government's unpopularity over Egypt and the rejection over the budget proposals was certainly a factor in bringing it down.

In any case I was grateful to have Lord Salisbury as my Prime Minister.

Jubilee

THE TIME WAS APPROACHING WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON the throne for fifty years. It was a fact that should be brought home to the people, said Lord Salisbury, for they must realize that it was an occasion for rejoicing.

I felt tired at the prospect, but, of course, he was right. Such anniversaries should not be allowed to pass unnoticed.

I had very worrying news from Vicky. Her husband, Fritz, was suffering from a terrible throat infection—which it was whispered was cancer. Vicky was very anxious because she lived uneasily at the Prussian Court. Her parents-in-law had been far from kind to her, and Bismarck was her enemy; her son treated her atrociously; and she had to endure reproaches for everything she did; she was condemned because of her English blood.

I knew all this and when the telegram came, in cypher, I guessed the position was very grave.

The deciphering of the message revealed that the German doctors wished to perform an operation, but she wanted, first of all, to consult one of our doctors, who was said to be a leading authority on such matters. This was Dr. Morell Mackenzie. Vicky begged me to send out Dr. Mackenzie at once. She was against the operation and she thought that Dr. Mackenzie might persuade the German doctors not to do it.

I immediately sent for my doctors to ask their opinion of Dr. Mackenzie. They said he was indeed skillful, but he was very eager to amass money, and for that reason should be watched.

I told this to Vicky.

The situation was very tense. The Emperor himself was in a low state of health and not expected to live long; if he died that would mean Fritz would be Emperor, and if he died, the mantle would fall on my grandson Wilhelm, who was no friend to his mother.

That was the state of affairs when the day of celebration arrived.

On the previous day I had awakened to a sunny morning and had my breakfast out of doors at Frogmore. One could not be private out of doors at the castle.

Crowds had gathered to see me drive to the station and there were loyal cheers, which were gratifying. And when I alighted at Paddington, I drove through the Park to Buckingham Palace where I received more loyal acclaim.

How wonderful it was to be surrounded by my dear children! I thought how really remarkable it was that I had been for fifty years on the throne and been sustained through so many trials and sorrows.

The flowers were magnificent, for the growers had vied with each other to send their products to me. Among them was one bouquet four feet high, and on it were the letters V.R.I. picked out in scarlet blooms.

We had a dinner party with all the family that evening and what pleased me most was to have them all with me.

The next day, the twenty-first, the real celebrations began. I had refused to wear a crown and the State robes, for although this was a grand occasion I wanted it to be as simple as possible. The family was most put out. They thought it should be completely ceremonial. Alexandra was sent by the others to try to persuade me to wear my crown, but I told her it was not her affair and I would not be coerced. Lord Halifax was very irritated. He said the people wanted a gilding for their money, which I thought was rather a coarse way of expressing his views; and that interfering Joseph Chamberlain said a sovereign should be grand. I had decided to wear a bonnet. It should be very attractive—one made of white lace and diamonds—but still a bonnet.

Lord Rosebery said that an Empire should be ruled by scepter and not bonnet. But I was adamant and commanded that all the ladies wear bonnets and long high dresses with mantel.

I thought as I always did on such occasions: If only Albert could have been there how proud he would have been!

I left the Palace in an open landau drawn by six cream horses with an escort of Indian cavalry. Next came the men of the family—three sons, five sons-in-law, and nine grandsons.

Poor Fritz was suffering so much and yet putting on a bold appearance. His voice was almost nonexistent and it really was very brave of him to have come. He drew perhaps the loudest of all cheers for he did look magnificent in white and silver with the German eagle on his helmet. One could trust the Prussians to attract more attention than anyone else.

Following the family and myself were the processions in which Europe, India, and the colonies were represented. There were four kings from Europe—Saxony, Belgium, the Hellenes, and Denmark—with the Crown Princes of Prussia, Greece, Portugal, Sweden, and Austria.

There could not have been a more glittering assembly; even the Pope sent someone to represent him. We passed through Constitution Hill, Piccadilly, Waterloo Place, and Parliament Street to the Abbey for the thanksgiving service; and I walked into the Abbey to the sound of a Handel march.

I had insisted that Albert's Te Deum and his anthem Gotha—his own composition—should be part of the service, and when I heard it I was deeply moved, and it was almost as though he were there beside me.

We went back to the Palace via Whitehall and Pall Mall and I felt quite exhausted; but it was not the end of the day. There was luncheon at four and then I was on the balcony watching the blue-jackets march past. In the evening there was a dinner party. I could hardly keep awake. But it had been wonderfully stimulating—a day to remember.


* * *

LORD BEACONSFIELD HAD aroused my interest in India and since I had become Empress I had wanted to know more about it. I should have liked to visit it but that seemed impracticable at this time.

With the party that had come to England to take its place in the Jubilee celebrations, were two Indians who attracted my attention. They were Abdul Karim who was about twenty-four years old and whose father was, I believed, a doctor, and Mahomet who was much older, rather fat, and constantly smiling.

I engaged them to work in the royal household close to me so that I could learn more about them and their country. Karim was very intelligent but his grasp of English was not very good, so I engaged a tutor to teach him.

The tutor came eagerly, thinking he was going to teach one of the princes and when he realized his services were required for a servant— and a dark-skinned one at that—he was extremely put out.

I was irritated. I would not have people despised because their skin was a different color from our English ones; and of course the foolish tutor dared not offend me.

I was most amused when Karim offered to teach me Hindustani and I agreed to the plan at once. I was fascinated and loved to be able to address Karim and Mahomet in their own language.

Karim cooked for me—hot Indian foods—which I thoroughly enjoyed. I felt much happier than I had since John Brown had died. My Indian servants soon became devoted to me.

It was good to have people like that about me.


* * *

WHILE FRITZ WAS in England he had several sessions with Dr. Mackenzie and he was much better. He believed that Dr. Mackenzie could cure him and that lifted his spirits considerably. It was wonderful to see the change in him.

Vicky was delighted. Fritz was very important to her for he had stood beside her against all those who had been so unpleasant to her. I was well aware of what she had to endure from Fritz's family and particularly from young Wilhelm who, she believed, was so hard-hearted and ambitious that he was really longing for the deaths of his grandfather and father so that he could wear the Imperial crown.

He was a most unpleasant creature. He did nothing to stem the cruel rumors that his mother had a lover and that she had prevented her husband's operation because she wanted to keep him alive until after his father's death so that she might become Empress, after which Fritz could depart, leaving her with the Imperial pickings and her lover.

The wickedness of that young man infuriated me. I often thought of how proud Albert had been of her grand marriage. And what happiness had it brought her? Whereas Alice had been so happy with her Louis, and Beatrice had been the same in her even more humble union with Henry of Battenburg.

Poor Vicky, so clever, so proud! And what must be the hardest to bear was the unloving attitude of her own son.