Ella Frank - Veiled Innocence

“And how’s that, Addy? How do they make you feel?”

I struggled to find the right word and settled on the one that I’d felt when I looked at Doc’s photo. “Safe.”

Doc took a moment and brought the pen down from his mouth, before asking, “Well, has this person ever hurt you?”

“No!” I’m adamant in my denial.

“Does this person make you do things you don’t want to?”

I shook my head and could feel the furrow between my brows.

No, Grayson never pushed himself on me, but I couldn’t say the same in return.

“Then I don’t see the problem. In fact, I would go so far as to say whoever it is has changed you in a positive way. I’ve noticed it myself.”

I tried to ignore the rapid pounding in my chest as my heart beat overtime.

“What do you mean?”

“Sit down, would you?”

Without questioning him, I did as I was told.

“Ever since the beginning of school, you’ve been less despondent and much more responsive. You’ve been social, engaged, and you haven’t even noticed today that I took the clock off my wall. These are all clear indications to me that your behavior has changed.”

I agreed with him but still. “That doesn’t answer my question. How do I help them?”

Doc shrugged. “Maybe the thing that is bothering you and making you feel trapped is that you can’t.”

Past…

Six days.

It had been six days since I’d last seen Addison. I thought it would leave me feeling more centered, less off-balance, but I all I could think of was her.

I’d taken Friday off to go back to the facility my father had stayed in and finalize his estate. Then I’d had the dreadful task of arranging a funeral for one.

I still couldn’t quite wrap my mind around the fact that he was gone—forever.

Helene had been the first to offer her condolences Monday morning, but while she’d been talking to me and extending her sympathy, I’d been picturing Addison. I’d memorized the way she’d looked as she knelt beside me with my camera in her hands, trying to see behind the walls I’d kept up around her.

Addison Lancaster. Ingénue or Siren?

The first time I heard her name, I knew I was in trouble.

Last Thursday when she’d shown up at my house, all pretense of what was going on between us had fallen away. The excitement and lust that originally drew me to her had been replaced with emotions I was scrambling to get ahold of. Complex emotions were threatening to overwhelm me, but somewhere amongst the disorder, there was some part of it that made sense. She was the only thing that had brought me comfort in my darkest of days.

I walked into my classroom, and stopped by my desk, and immediately I knew she was there. My eyes searched out the seat that had sat vacant since Monday, and there she was, polished as ever.

Her lip had fully healed, and her hair was curled to perfection. Her blue eyes found mine, and I knew right away that something was different.

She resembled the girl I’d first met only weeks ago, except this time, her eyes weren’t full of mischief or rebellion—they were flat and dispassionate.

“Good Morning, Addison,” I managed, my voice sounding strained, even to me.

“Good morning, Mr. McKendrick.”

Trying to get a read on her, I walked around to the front of my desk and leaned back against it.

“You’re early.”

“Am I?” she asked, but if anyone knew where they were at all times, it was Addison.

“Did you need to see me about something?” I prodded.

This version of her was terrifying in that I had absolutely no idea what she was thinking.

“Yes. Am I required to hand in the paper from last Friday?”

Is she serious?

Sitting right in front of me was a stranger. The girl who’d teased and provoked with the tilt of her lips and batting of her eyelashes was gone—just when I’d been coming to accept her.

“The Anne Boleyn paper? No. There’s no catch up in my class for suspended students.”

She shook her head as if disappointed. I wondered if she expected different treatment. But then I kicked my own ass because of course she did. I’d had her under me, naked and spread open as I lost myself inside her. Was a little leniency out of the question?

Not for her, but for Brandon, who also was unable to make up the credits, it would be completely unfair. She had to know that.

Pushing off my desk, I walked down between the tables and chairs until I came to a stop in front of her. As she tipped her face up to me, I had the urge to bend down and take her lips with mine.

Selfless didn’t describe me or my prior actions, but now, right this second, I didn’t care about the consequences I might suffer. I only cared about her.

“If I could give you the time to make it up, I would.”

She placed her hands on top of the desk, interlocking her fingers. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

Crouching down until I was eye level with her, I held onto the edge of the wood to prevent myself from reaching out and touching her. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she replied. Her tone conveyed she was anything but. “Are you?”

“I’m feeling more myself today.”

“Yourself, huh? As opposed to drinking a bottle of scotch and—”

“Yes,” I cut her off, not needing a recap of my transgressions. “As opposed to that.”

“Hmm.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I couldn’t help but ask.

Before she had a chance to answer, the classroom door slammed open, jolting me back to reality.

I stood and turned to see Brandon making his way into the room, leading Jessica by the hand. They looked to where I was standing, and Jessica flashed me a smile. Her gaze then dropped to Addison and it disappeared—no love lost there.

“Good morning, Brandon, Jessica. Please go ahead and take a seat.”

I strolled as calmly as I could back to the front of the room, trying not to reveal anything I didn’t want known.

“Sure, Mr. M,” Brandon agreed a little too readily.

I watched him walk to the seat beside Addison and then he glanced back over his shoulder at me. The move was confrontational, and when I sat down behind my desk, I realized he was sizing me up. But why?

As the other students began filing into the room, I reminded myself that Brandon knew nothing—there was no way he could. He was probably still pissed off from being suspended last week. As the final bell chimed, I watched him turn to Addison.

She didn’t spare him a passing glance but merely sat silently as she had been a few minutes earlier.

But then he looked back to me.

His eyes were inquisitive. His stare, suspicious.

Right then I realized there were much more dangerous things in my life than Addison.

Present…

Doc told me to meet him out in the courtyard today.

Apparently, he has finally had it with his tiny office, not that I can blame him. Compared to the one at his home, this one must be a real drag.

“Ahh, isn’t it beautiful today?”

I look behind me to see Doc making his way along the path surrounding the small fountain. He has one hand up to shade his eyes and the other is swinging a yellow envelope by his leg.

I scoot over on the bench and wait for him to sit. He takes the spot I’ve vacated and then bumps our shoulders together. “I said, isn’t it beautiful today?”

I give a look that screams, really?

“Don’t give me that look.”

Feeling my lips twitch, I can’t help from asking, “What look?”

Then in his best “girl” voice, Doc mimics who I can only assume is one of his daughters, “Seriously?”

Laughing out loud, I admit, “It really is a beautiful day.”

“See?”

“So, what does it matter? I’m still in here.”

My insolent response doesn’t seem to faze Doc in the slightest. Instead, he shrugs.

“Technically you’re out here, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, today we have a different result.”

“As opposed to?”

“The last time we were out here. You cried that day, do you remember?”

I think back several days and remember standing here with Doc. The memory is clear. The sun was the same, but he was right—today I noticed it was a beautiful day, today…

“Today you smiled.”

Past…

History class went by fast enough, and as soon as the bell rang, I leaped to my feet to leave. I had a meeting today with Miss Shrieve at ten, and I didn’t want to be late. I also didn’t want to give Grayson a chance to ends things before I was ready.

After my session on Monday with Doc, I understood what needed to happen, it was just harder than I imagined. A few simple words and this would all be over. Life would return to normal—wouldn’t it?

And what was normal? Life before him? That didn’t sound like the ending I wanted either, but what other choice was there? Doc was making me realize I was not helping Grayson the way he helped me.

Wanting someone and needing them was entirely different than being good for them—and it was more than clear, that I was not that for him.

“Oh, Addison, come in.”

Why my skin prickled at Miss Shrieve’s invitation I couldn’t have guessed, but the way she examined me as I stepped into her office and took a seat made me uncomfortable.

She held up her index finger and gave me a tight smile. “One second. Let me shut the door.”