She thought about that for a moment and brought her walking to a halt. "Maybe it’s good that I didn’t know that I was gay back then." Her mind tumbled aimlessly over the thought of being in a physical union with someone but still feeling alone, her soul was not joined with the half that it sought to feel complete. "By the gods, it couldn’t feel worse than this."
The tears that were so easy to form were there in a second. At times she wondered where her body was getting all the moisture to keep the river of sadness flowing through her eyes. After bringing her arms up to wipe the tears away from her cheeks, she opened her eyes to see the large upside down letters of U.S.C. written on the sweatshirt she wore. Suddenly, the rush that she had felt at Garrett’s touch coursed through her body as the image of the woman implanted itself firmly in her mind.
The petite woman stood there on the forest’s floor and raised her eyes to the heavens above. Then, as if offering a prayer that the pain of this separation would be soon replaced by only the memory of the friendship and love that she had experienced over the last year, she remained silent with her thoughts.
It seemed now that everywhere she looked, everything she touched brought back memories of the beautiful woman. Danni prayed that it would become easier over the next week without her. She shook her head in wonderment at how she was going to be able to resume any kind of normalcy to her life once she entered that hospital again. She was certain that the wispy illusions that she had been seeing here in the forest would only be multiplied a thousand times. They would come out from every corner and every hallway that the woman had used over the last year, popping up at the most inopportune times she was sure.
Once again the petite woman started walking down the pathways of her life, as she crossed the woodland floor, letting her pain eke out so as not to gather it all in one place. She followed the trail now as she had followed the surgeon, being ever mindful of the many skills that were needed to keep her balance and attain her goal. But that was part of the problem, her goal had been moved, eradicated of sort. Perhaps that was why Danni felt as though for the past week she had been walking with nowhere to go, no goal to achieve, and most of all, no one to come home to.
As the light of the forest floor began to dim, the forlorn woman brought her arms across her chest and held on, both for comfort and for warmth, as the sun began its slow descent in the sky. It would be dark soon and there she would be, alone in the cabin with only the warmth of the well-worn college sweatshirt to hold her through the night. She wondered when the pain would end but then thought if it did, would that mean that she no longer had Garrett in her heart? She hastened her steps toward the cabin, afraid of what the answer would be.
The golden rays of the sun setting low on the horizon bathed the clearing that the cabin was nestled into. As the young woman came to the end of the trail, her eyes took in the beautiful sight of the sun-drenched lake reflecting the colorful hues of the sky. It was a breathtaking view as the shimmering water moved with the glow of the world around it. The lure of it called out to her as she slowly came to its edge. Like a lover’s arms outstretched to her, the water beckoned her closer.
She walked along the sandy shore until her steps led her to the long-standing pier that stretched out into the lake, away from the land. There, standing at the furthermost point of dryness in the mist of water, she felt like she was now a part of the images that her eyes beheld. She turned her head slowly to drink in the sight of nature at its finest. Lowering her eyes to the water in front of her, Danni once again saw the illusion of her friend rippling with the rhythm of the lake. The words slipped out of her mouth before her mind could register them. "What I wouldn’t give to have you here with me now?" Then she closed her eyes and turned her head trying hard not cry.
"Could you give me another chance at friendship…perhaps, even a chance at love?"
The words came to her ears in the form of the voice she was so familiar with and it scared her. ‘By the gods, I’m really losing it now. First, it’s her image and now I’m hearing her voice. Danni girl, you’re really losing it now.’
"Danni?"
That was it. She heard the voice again. She was definitely getting worse and not better. How would she ever survive? Then she remembered her Grandfather’s lectures about life and confronting your fear head on. And that was what she decided to do as she spun around and opened her eyes.
Through the veil of tears, her vision fell on golden hued skin encased by raven hair and the blue eyes that she remembered so well. Needing to prove to herself that her mind was the one playing tricks, the petite woman stepped forward and readied herself to meet the illusion. Her arms reached out and wrapped around the form bringing it to her. ‘Whoa! Wait a minute here.’
The shock of having a solid form in her arms startled Danni and the woman gasped in alarm.
Pushing her arms out at length, Danni leaned back and looked with renewed interest at the being in front of her. "Gar?"
The dark-haired form nodded and the two embraced as though they had been separated for all of eternity. Slowly the life came back into the hearts that were lacking as the women basked in the rich glow of the sun and the warmth of the love that was filling their hearts.
"Gar, is this really you?"
The softly whispered words fell like music on her ears and the tall woman responded to it with the gentle nodding of her head. "Yes, Danni, it’s me."
That was all that the young woman needed to hear and she tightened her embrace vowing never to let go again. "I was hoping it was."
The sentiment that it brought to Garrett was enough to give her the strength she needed to overcome any fear she might have had about how she would be received. If this moment was any example of the love that the two shared, the surgeon was sure that she had done the right thing by coming back.
She was sure of it now, as she felt the tears soaking into her shirt from the young woman in her arms.
"Tears of joy, I hope?"
Danni felt the blush start in the base of her neck as she struggled to respond. "Now, they are." She sensed the touch of long, sinewy fingers under her chin as she felt her head being tipped back and Garrett’s face came into her view. Blue eyes met with green and the silent outpouring of two long separated souls spoke volumes to one another of their journey to where they were now.
It was as though the world had stopped revolving and time stood still. The draw of the souls longing to be together edged each one closer and soon, soft, moist lips pressed one against the other. The charge of the electricity surging through their bodies was enough to start any weakened heart, healing the wounds that had been placed there in a now forgotten time. The kiss was soft and tender as their bodies adjusted to the touch. After a lingering moment, the touch of lip to lip faded and they stood looking into each other’s eyes, drinking in the love that they had seen and now tasted.
Like two small children eager to tell a secret, they whispered what was foremost on their minds, bothering not to listen to the other.
"I love you," was the nearly unison verbiage that filled the air between their bodies.
Each one looked in wonderment of the other as dreams long sought were finally being realized. Suddenly all of the time and torture that they had gone through meant nothing compared to what they were feeling now and looked forward to in the future. They had finally come to their senses and it felt good.
The sound of a distant motorboat broke the spell that they had been held in and they found themselves feeling shy with the other. With nervous giggles catching in their throats, they moved away from one another leaving only their hands to make contact now. This was all so new for the both of them and they weren’t quite sure how to act.
With the threat of the outside world invading their newly found realm of each other, Danni’s mind was soon wondering what had happened to bring the surgeon to her.
"Gar, is something wrong? Why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be on your way to Arizona?" The questions rolled off of her tongue before she could stop them. The concern was evident in the furrowed brow under the wind tossed golden hair, green eyes looking deeply for answers in the blue reflective pools of the surgeon.
"Nothing’s wrong, Danni, at least not now. I think I finally came to my senses. I’m not taking that position in Arizona." Garrett watched the nurse’s face for any sign of disapproval. There was none.
"But Gar, they’re expecting you to be there. What did you tell them?"
The raven-haired woman looked out over the lake. "I told them the truth, my heart just wasn’t in making the move." Garrett looked back at Danni. "No matter where I would move, my heart would always be here with you." It was the truth, and the surgeon knew it.
The petite nurse stood mesmerized by the complete truthfulness of the statement. It was the exact thing that she herself considered to be true, her heart would be with the surgeon no matter where they both were.
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